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To be bothered that a mother and father shaking newborn to pacify him/her.

(37 Posts)
whenitrainsitpours Tue 09-Apr-13 14:30:38

Last night, this new mom and dad came out for a meal at the restaurant i work at with newborn baby. Lovely couple and sweet baby, must have been at the most 3 weeks old. Especially the dad, while the mum was eating her meal, was holding their baby and kept bouncing him on his knee very fast and was jolting the baby. I suppose that was his way to pacify the baby, but i did not think bouncing/shaking up and down fast would be any good for such a small infant. Your thoughts.

Coconutty Tue 09-Apr-13 14:33:53

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

whenitrainsitpours Tue 09-Apr-13 14:35:29

Yes, holding it undereath the chin with one hand other hand around is lap.

CSIJanner Tue 09-Apr-13 14:35:47

^ what Coconutty said ^

Your title makes it sound like they gave bubba a full on shake. Was it jigging?

CSIJanner Tue 09-Apr-13 14:36:35


Well, that's not good. Did mum not say anything?

MrsHoarder Tue 09-Apr-13 14:37:14

So this baby was 3 weeks old, couldn't support its own head, smile or anything?

whenitrainsitpours Tue 09-Apr-13 14:41:33

Oh trust me they were shaking it none stop. You know like as if you would make the sound aaaaaaa...aaaaaa....aaaaaaa. No could not support itself, he was at the most 3 weeks. I think they were trying to keep him from crying. The mom did not say anything.

Coconutty Tue 09-Apr-13 14:44:13

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsHoarder Tue 09-Apr-13 14:44:45

If that's the case, why didn't you intervene to protect a defenceless baby?

Booyhoo Tue 09-Apr-13 14:45:06

the dad was holding baby's head though?

TheFallenNinja Tue 09-Apr-13 14:46:21

Did they leave a tip?

nailak Tue 09-Apr-13 14:46:50

i dont think this is shaking at all! this is more like rocking. My babies loved being rocked quickly, or jiggled on my knee. This was also how the midwife in the hospital showed me to wind dd1!

whenitrainsitpours Tue 09-Apr-13 14:47:42

Good question, I felt like saying something to them but was not sure if I would have been over stepping my business as this was a full restaurant i would not have been the only one to see this. But it did bother me inside.

maddening Tue 09-Apr-13 14:48:43

Was it jiggling or whaking?

whenitrainsitpours Tue 09-Apr-13 14:48:51

Awwh so that would not have caused anything bad. Ok glad to hear it and feel better to know.

MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel Tue 09-Apr-13 14:48:55

I used to do this (without the overly dramatic title of 'shaking a newborn') with ds as it was the only way to get his wind up. I'd support his head (as this dad was doing) and bounce him on my knee. If you were so concerned about this shaking incident you should have call SS or the police hmm

VitoCorleone Tue 09-Apr-13 14:49:06

Could have been trying to wind the baby?

sherazade Tue 09-Apr-13 14:52:53

your title has really irked me. Sounds like they weren't shaking the baby at all. Am sure you had the best intentions but most sane loving parents know where to draw the line between jigging and shaking.

whenitrainsitpours Tue 09-Apr-13 14:52:56

Yes, sorry did not think this was how you could wind a baby. All I was thinking is how they say that shaking can cause brain damage, etc but this was not like shaking it abusively more like you say none stop jiggling on knee, obviously now with what you said to wind the baby...

Sheshelob Tue 09-Apr-13 14:54:21

We used to give our boy some pretty firm pats over our shoulders to get his wind moving as a newborn. My MIL used to blanch a bit, but it really helped to settle him.

Sounds like they just handle their baby in a way you wouldn't. But it doesn't mean they were doing the baby any actual harm.

Booyhoo Tue 09-Apr-13 14:55:48


Calabria Tue 09-Apr-13 15:01:21

I can see why it might look alarming. I remember my husband's shocked face then it looked like I was strangling newborn DD while trying to get her to burp.

rhondajean Tue 09-Apr-13 15:08:50

Best way ever to get their wind up, plus they look like grumpy little old men with their head resting in your hand <gets all broody>

Now look what you have done!!!

ChunkyPickle Tue 09-Apr-13 15:11:51

I'm pretty sure that the bad shaking is where you fling them back and forth so their head flops backwards and forwards.

It sounds like what that dad was doing is supporting the head, supporting the body, and jiggling the baby - it might bring up wind (or more than wind), squidge poo around, or send the baby squiffy, but I can't imagine it'd do the damage that actually shaking a baby doees

KatyTheCleaningLady Tue 09-Apr-13 15:12:54

A fast jiggle calms some babies.

The dangerous shaking is much more violent.

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