Yes he has pretty much always been this way - been a bit worse recently as we have been under a lot of stress lately and he retreats into the computer when he is stressed (he has depression).
I just feel like that isn't enough of an excuse anymore Don't get me wrong I understand how hard depression can be (have had it myself) but I don't feel like I can sit around and wait for him to get better anymore (7 yrs and counting..)
DH is a full time carer for DS2 (ASD) so is not working at the moment - I was working up until I recently lost my job
I'm sorry but depression doesn't mean you have the behave like that.
i've been suicidal & have a stupidly long history of depression & whilst depression is a very selfish illness by nature (as you tend to become a total introvert) you can still choose how you're going to treat others. I've managed to never treat my dp like that (even when I've felt like cutting myself off from everyone totally).
You really do deserve better. And I suspect he hasn't been severely depressed the whole time? Surely he just thinks that it's ok? Have you told him how you feel?
If he's been like this for the whole relationship it sounds like he needs professional help. So sorry the family is in this jobless situation and the way it's impacting on your relationship. It's hard to approach but if there are going to be any happy times ahead you need to say something. You've been there so it's unfair for him to turn it into a criticism.