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To be quietly seething over ex?

(5 Posts)
Neverendingstory1 Tue 09-Apr-13 12:28:53

Brief backstory, ex and I were together around 4 years and had a ds together. We were quite young and I was quite stupid, he was controlling, nasty and got physical with me a lot over anything and everything. I eventually left him just before our ds was born and 4 weeks later he had shacked up with another woman. He even used his second week of paternity leave to go and see her.

He told us both loads of lies, didn't tell her for ages he had a new baby was one. He would come and see me and beg for another chance probably just to get me into bed, and then go and see her at weekends.

He was pretty much useless as a dad, never did anything hands on for ds, never put a penny towards things for him, still got violent if we argued over any of it, he was still trying to control everything I did. He'd be really nasty tell me noone would want me now I was a single mum. I ended up telling him to bugger off as he was making my life a misery, and he did, changed his number so I couldn't contact him, around this time I think he moved in somewhere with the other woman.

I sent her a message (facebook) telling her he'd been seeing the two of us but her response was that she knew what had gone on but she wasn't going to let me 'win'.

Ds is 5 now and I've never heard a peep from ex since apart from a card on ds 1st birthday saying he hoped to see ds soon, but leaving no contact details, also put a note in saying a present was on it's way but it never arrived. Oh and he didn't even pay the full postage on the card.

I admit to having a look on exes girlfriends facebook sometimes as it's all public. I know I probably shouldn't, but it's curiosity and also to see if anything ever said about ds as she's quite vocal on there. It doesn't usually upset me, I've been with my oh for 4 years now. But the ex got married recently and it's just made me sick, they've obviously spent thousands, and she all over saying how it was the best day of their lives. I couldn't help thinking really? Better than the day your dc was born? Now she's going on about her very expensive honeymoon which they've booked.

I don't know why but it makes me sick because he's never done a single thing for ds and obviously is quite happy and doesn't care about all the years he's missed.

quoteunquote Tue 09-Apr-13 12:42:49

He's a twonk of the highest order, and has found his perfect match.

ignore, he has white washed you and DS out of his life,

his loss, it will haunt him all of his life how he has treated his son, he'll never achieve peace of mind.

Do your best to focus any energy you have on the positive parts of your lives, and you won't have any left to waste on them.

What a lucky escape you had, imagine having to spend your entire life with such a loser, you got the very best thing that could ever come out of the twonks's existence, and he is to stupid to realise that it was his finest moment.

yaimee Tue 09-Apr-13 12:52:41

Chin up and enjoy life with your ds. You and ds are well shot of that idiot!
And I know it's hard but block his dp on Facebook and don't look, you're just making things harder for yourself!
Hope things get easier soon!

Neverendingstory1 Tue 09-Apr-13 12:57:22

Thanks, I am grateful he's not in my life, I don't think I'd ever have been able to live in peace. Well he pretty much promised me that I wouldn't, never be allowed to meet anyone else etc.

Maybe if he'd put half as much effort as he does into his partying, gambling, and expensive holidays into his relationship with ds he could have been a parent.

quoteunquote Tue 09-Apr-13 14:14:13

The best way to get back at him erase him from your life is to have a wonderful full one yourself, just concentrate on having the best fun with your son, friends and family.

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