To find it very hard to form unshakeable opinions on anything?

(27 Posts)
CardiffUniversityNetballTeam Tue 09-Apr-13 00:08:55

I have been thinking about this on and off for a while now and the death of Margaret Thatcher has only reinforced my belief that I don't really have many opinions on anything! blush

Just when I think I have an opinion on something, it can be anything; Thatcher, the welfare state, fox hunting, immigration; I will then read another article or speak to someone else with an opposing view and feel like perhaps I was wrong and my viewpoint changes slightly. I often feel like I never know enough about anything to form an opinion. So I read up on things and try and find out more about them, only to find myself less sure of my opinions than I was before!

Does anyone else feel like this? I am sick of sitting on the fence about things, there seem to be so few things that I'm certain of anymore! Am I over thinking things, or just ignorant?

HappySeven Tue 09-Apr-13 15:48:49

I'm the same but I kind of hope it means I'm empathetic and can see the bigger picture. There often isn't a right or wrong and as history is written by the victors it's very easy to assume that politics is black and white when it isn't.

As long as you keep trying to learn more I think that's a better stance than forming an opinion in your teenage years and sticking to it regardless of any new evidence suggesting it's wrong.

I hope so, anyway! By the way, are you the youngest in your family? I've always assumed I'm this way because I have so many older siblings who bombarded me with differing opinions.

TeWiSavesTheDay Tue 09-Apr-13 15:29:10

Oh, thought. All my set opinions are about quite big things. I have pretty strong political views about what government should be aiming to do, although I can be flexible in my view about how we get there. Part of that is that I am pretty keen on personal choice, which means I tend not to have set views on, say, parenting, and get a bit fed up with people that do; because it's such a variable thing.

Maybe your set views influence the fact that you are open to ideas in other areas?

ConfusedPixie Tue 09-Apr-13 15:21:36

YANBU. Things change, life changes, you meet people who change, and your perceptions and opinions change. I am in the middle about most things now!

I reckon that you'll have 'set opinions' about things more than you realise though.

Andro Tue 09-Apr-13 15:08:38

Meant to add, YANBU to not have set opinions...I'm sure you'd develop them soon enough if needed.

Andro Tue 09-Apr-13 15:06:33

Most of my opinions are subject to re-evaluation depending on new info etc, things upon which my opinion will not change include:

The death penalty - it's always wrong
Anonymity for both survivors of and suspects in sex crime cases (anonymity revoked for the suspect upon conviction)
Violence within a relationship - hit me once in anger and we're done!

TeWiSavesTheDay Tue 09-Apr-13 14:58:43

I think there is a difference between not having an opinion, and having an opinion but just not caring as passionately about it as others do, and again, as having an opinion, but that opinion being fluid because you don't feel you know enough about it yet.

I get a bit fed up with people who have one set point of view about an issue and dismiss anyone who disagrees. But I imagine sometimes I appear like that - over issues that I care very much about. Really it is just that I care very much about those things and have considered those alternate opinions before in detail, so I don't feel the need to rehash those arguments to know I don't agree.

Pigsmummy Tue 09-Apr-13 14:46:52

Don't sweat the small stuff, you are clearly an articulate and rational person, most issues have an apposing argument, you are doing right to try to read up about these things and when something comes along that is hugely important to you then you will discover what matters to you and will have some opinions. In the mean time sit back, watch and absorb

PeteHornberger Tue 09-Apr-13 14:17:16

I'm the same OP, I'm a libran and am also hopelessly indecisive grin

I hate this trait sometimes, especially the indecisiveness, as I think it makes me look weak - although every now and again I console myself that it's a good thing to be able to see all sides of the story.

It helps you to come to a carefully considered conclusion - bit much when you're just deciding what to have for lunch though...

StealthPolarBear Tue 09-Apr-13 14:07:27

I think it's a positive thing. Otherwise what's the pointing debate? Might as well just stick your fingers in your ears.. Very childish IMO to be unable to see another's point of view and very immature to ever admit someone on 'the other side' may have a valid point

cumfy Tue 09-Apr-13 14:04:45

A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.

Just console yourself that you're thinking, they are rearranging their prejudices.

chris481 Tue 09-Apr-13 13:52:20

OP sounds like a moderate, made me think of this from the Economist:-

"SOME years ago a satirical cartoon strip set in ancient Rome, the very fine “Hom Sap” series, imagined an uprising by moderates. “What do we want? Gradual change!” chanted a band of tunic-clad centrists. “When do we want it? In due course!”

flaminhoopsaloolah Tue 09-Apr-13 01:33:30

Agentzigzag - that's the hallmark of a bully smile Though I do shamefully admit I've managed to get pulled in on occasion and bitten back.

CardiffUniversityNetballTeam Tue 09-Apr-13 00:32:51

*hear someone

CardiffUniversityNetballTeam Tue 09-Apr-13 00:31:20

Ah, I'm glad it's not just me! There are a few things that I feel very strongly about and that I think I have a definite opinion on. They include organised religion (anti) and equality of opportunity (pro).

I think a lot of the time that it isn't so much indecisiveness, more that I will here some make an argument for something and think, "actually, that's a good point that I hadn't thought of, perhaps I should consider that."

And, yes, I will definitely be steering clear of the Thatcher threads. There are some very made up minds on those boards! confused

AgentZigzag Tue 09-Apr-13 00:30:59

Definitely flamin, especially bullying the other person by belittling and humiliating them and their opinions.

Hate that and refuse to play the game.

grimbletart Tue 09-Apr-13 00:30:27

Another one here. I often find myself playing devil's advocate, not out of perversity but because I genuinely can't understand how people can take extreme positions on, say, religion, politics etc. and not apparently ever acknowledge that others might see things differently or, heaven forbid, even have a point on occasions.

Hopasholic Tue 09-Apr-13 00:26:59

Are you a Libran?

Or are you not sure grin

AgentZigzag Tue 09-Apr-13 00:26:20

Like an injustice to someone/something?

flaminhoopsaloolah Tue 09-Apr-13 00:26:19

You mean your opinions change with new information? I think that's a wonderfully healthy sign of a reasonable, intelligent, empathic individual who can think flexibly. Nothing wrong with that at all. Bet you can freely admit when you think you might have been wrong too instead of bullying the other person into thinking they're some sort of lunatic for holding a different opinion to yourself.

AgentZigzag Tue 09-Apr-13 00:25:57

There must be something that really outrages you enough to make your blood boil wohmum?

Footface Tue 09-Apr-13 00:25:34

But surely seeing something from some else point if view us a good trait?

SomewhereInTheMiddle Tue 09-Apr-13 00:25:00

Well you can probably tell from my name that I think YANBU! grin

I don't really understand people who take very entrenched viewpoints on things. I can almost always see both sides to an argument/opinion/situation.

However I am a dreadfully indecisive person - I guess that's the downside of seeing things in shades of grey rather than black and white. wink

wohmum Tue 09-Apr-13 00:24:32

Yep, me too!

I'm sure it's a positive trait to be able to see someone else's POV , but would be great to have my own strong convictions on things.

AgentZigzag Tue 09-Apr-13 00:23:23

You sound like a character that used to be in the fast show (if you can remember that?) grin

If you accept that changing the way you feel about things isn't being deceptive or inconsistent, it's a lot easier.

I sit on the fence about a lot of things, but I'm really passionate about a few.

I haven't got the energy to feel strongly and act on more than a few, and would say it's better to be middle t'road about most things than one of those tossers who have an opinion on every fucking thing hmm and have the overwhelming urge to try and force you into thinking the same.

UnrequitedSkink Tue 09-Apr-13 00:22:21

BUN fights.

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