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She smacked my daughter... WWYD??

(745 Posts)
Clumsyoaf Mon 08-Apr-13 12:53:06

In shock, just come home from a soft play place, went with some other mums that I have just started getting to know. DD (4 years old) being unruly - we are going through a phase at the moment, one of the other mums just picked her up and smacked her on her bottom. I was completely stunned - I would never hit a child my own or someone elses... DD in tears i just gathered up DS's stuff took DD and left.

I want to pick her up on it, or call the police or something..... sorry dont have anyone in RL i cant speak to right now so sorry for ranty message im just still stunned!


toosoft Mon 08-Apr-13 12:55:52

Knocked her fucking block off.

MadameJosephine Mon 08-Apr-13 12:57:53

I would knock her fucking block off call the police. How dare she assault your child!!

BurningBridges Mon 08-Apr-13 12:58:04

Or at least said something? I know its hard when you are on the spot, but you need to show your DD you will keep her safe. Did no one else say anything? Was this one of the mums from the group you were with?

Icantstopeatinglol Mon 08-Apr-13 12:58:27

I don't think I'd be able to stop myself from smacking her back and seeing how she liked it!
I'd be absolutely furious if someone smacked my dc!!
Hope you and your dd are ok.

freddy05 Mon 08-Apr-13 12:58:28

If she'd hit me I'd have rung the police so if she'd hit my daughter I'd do the same thing.

people can smack their own kids if they want that's their choice but no one hits mine!!

hairtearing Mon 08-Apr-13 12:58:49

I would have said something and had her removed, but I understand you were in shock and hindsight is a wonderful thing.

God just sympathy here that's awful.Is your DD ok?

OhBuggerandArse Mon 08-Apr-13 12:58:49

I'd want to know what 'being unruly' and 'going through a phase' actually meant in the circumstances, and what you do yourself about it.

Of course she shouldn't have done it, but sometimes people lose the rag and their better judgement when they see a child continually behaving badly at the expense of others. And four is quite old to be out of hand unless there are underlying issues.

ilovecolinfirth Mon 08-Apr-13 12:59:16

I would tell her how upset you are and break contact. I wouldn't call the police as you would put the other mums in a difficult position and you may want to continue to build a friendship and their children.

AGivenNickname Mon 08-Apr-13 12:59:40

I'd be marching round her house asking what she was playing at.

I'm not sure the police would do anything. There was a case somewhere where a toddler was smacked by someone in boots. The parent phoned the police and they weren't interested.

I'd still be phoning them though.

CloudsAndTrees Mon 08-Apr-13 12:59:56

I would have called the police at the time. Unfortunately there probably isn't much they can do about it now.

Contact the soft play centre and see if they have any sort of CCTV, or if there were any staff witnesses. At the very least, this woman should be banned from the place, but really, she should be prosecuted.

JamieandtheMagicTorch Mon 08-Apr-13 12:59:58

God that is terrible. Iw ould have been utterly shocked. I can't believe you didn't do soemthing at the time.i think you need to rouse your MOthervtiger a bit, OP.

JamieandtheMagicTorch Mon 08-Apr-13 13:00:13

Mother tiger

hairtearing Mon 08-Apr-13 13:00:30

Even in an extreme situation I would remove my child before hitting another, obviously has a violent streak.

ENormaSnob Mon 08-Apr-13 13:00:37

Please clarify that she picked up your tantrumming child, smacked her on the bottom to chastise and you said nothing but swiftly left? shock

JamieandtheMagicTorch Mon 08-Apr-13 13:02:24


I presume you smack you own children because your post sounded a bit like a justification

IAmNotAMindReader Mon 08-Apr-13 13:02:58

No she should not have smacked your child at all that is stepping beyond her bounds. There are a lot of other ways she could have stepped in.
However you yourself have admitted DD is going through a challenging phase. Is it possible your eyes have glazed over with the constant stream of it and others have actually found her to be a pain in the arse and got tired of waiting for you to deal with it?

JamieandtheMagicTorch Mon 08-Apr-13 13:06:07

As for WWYD

i'd say watch your child like a hawak, and next time, stand up for her

JamieandtheMagicTorch Mon 08-Apr-13 13:06:18


AGivenNickname Mon 08-Apr-13 13:06:19

I'm sorry but even if others were tired of waiting to deal with - that doesn't give them the right to smack OP's child.

MrsPeeWee Mon 08-Apr-13 13:06:25

I'd call the police.
She's assaulted your daughter.

This disgusting women needs putting in her place, right now.
She's not only crossed a major line, she's also done something unimaginable and illegal.

I am shocked that you didn't murder her there are women that actually dare do this.

OhBuggerandArse Mon 08-Apr-13 13:06:48

No, I don't. And I don't think it's a good way of disciplining a child.

But I have, in the past, got very frustrated at other parents' total lack of interest in preventing their child from behaving appallingly, and can understand how in circumstances like that someone might lose their judgement and their inhibitions. Am not condoning it, but would like to hear more about the circumstances.

JamieandtheMagicTorch Mon 08-Apr-13 13:09:59


OK, but ther are, IMO no circumstances needed to explain it. We have all encountered children who are behaving very badly, and who make us very angry. If an adult is out there who would let that spill over into violence I'd be pretty worried aboutnthat

MixedBerries Mon 08-Apr-13 13:10:48

I'm with OhBugger on this. We need to know more about what was going on. I saw a very similar situation develop at our local toddler group last week.

HungryClocksGoBackFourSeconds Mon 08-Apr-13 13:11:04

Call the police. for what it's worth, I think you did the right thing in leaving.

Hitting her back would have taught your DD that retaliating is the correct response to violence. She does however need to know you have her back and will not allow people to harm her, call the police and press charges and show DD that if people do bad things they will be punished.

Was there anyone else there you know that could be a witness?

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