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To mention to my neighbour about her bed banging against the wall

(51 Posts)
cuteboots Mon 08-Apr-13 09:07:20

Ok so the loud music every night has now stopped and is being replaced by rampant shagging action. I find it really hard not to burst out laughing when I see her out in the garden and being honest last night I was so tempted to start shouting " come on son you can do it just hurry up and get it over and done with". Its probably made a bit worse by the fact that Im going though the sahara at the mo but the bed banging against the wall is just really annoying and combined with her wailing like some mad woman ! Any feedback / ideas would you ignore and just try not to laugh when you see her

DesperatelySeekingSedatives Mon 08-Apr-13 16:52:00

A friend of mine had this with a house mate being a noisy fucker (so to speak) this girl must have known everyone could here her and her man at it. Really when she bellowed "ARE YOU WITH ME BABY ARE YOU?!" as she was coming it seemed only natural for everyone else to scream back "yes we are but we wish you'd piss off!" That girl moved out not long after.

My mum's old neighbours used to be noisy sods too. They terrified my then 2 year old DD one night she slept in the bedroom next to theirs. I take a little pleasure in the fact the toddler's crying and screaming that the monster shouting they were "coming" (ahem) seemed to put them off their stride for the rest of the night at least....

cuteboots Mon 08-Apr-13 17:05:38

HA HA HA ! laughing so loud everyone in the sales team looked at me !

JamieandtheMagicTorch Mon 08-Apr-13 17:13:08

Shout NOW WE KNOW! At the vinegar stroke|

KansasCityOctopus Mon 08-Apr-13 17:46:44

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

seriouscakeeater Mon 08-Apr-13 18:32:08

Ha ha ha shout " GO COMPAAAAARE" when they are about to climax !

kitbit Mon 08-Apr-13 18:34:45

Change your wifi name to 'Number 12 I can hear you shagging' so it pops up on their smartphones?

Loulybelle Mon 08-Apr-13 18:41:10

Oh perfect song to play

Tenacious D

Loulybelle Mon 08-Apr-13 18:43:02

This is a song for the ladies
But fellas listen closely
You don't always have to fuck her hard
In fact sometimes that's not right to do
Sometimes you've got to make some love
And fucking give her some smoochies too
Sometimes ya got to squeeze
Sometimes you've got to say please
Sometime you've got to say hey
I'm gonna Fuck you softly
I'm gonna screw you gently
I'm gonna hump you sweetly
I'm gonna ball you discreetly
And then you say hey I bought you flowers
And then you say wait a minute sally
I think I got somethin in my teeth
Could you get it out for me
That's fucking teamwork
What's your fave posish?
That's cool with me
It's not my favorite
But I'll do it for you
What's your favorite dish?
I'm not gonna cook it
But I'll order it from Zanzibar
And then I'm gonna love you completely
And then I'll fucking fuck you discreetly
And then I'll fucking bone you completely
But then I'm gonna fuck you hard

Owllady Mon 08-Apr-13 18:48:12

I had to live next door to a couple in their late 60s that were like this confused

it used to make me feel a bit queasy tbh

AwkwardSquad Mon 08-Apr-13 19:48:49

I suggest the Benny Hill theme tune, up loud grin

Earthworms Mon 08-Apr-13 19:58:26

seriouscake pmsl

I just yelped with laughter and woke the toddler

EuroShaggleton Mon 08-Apr-13 20:00:17

The wifi name suggestion is great. You could change it regularly:



digerd Mon 08-Apr-13 20:12:48

At least 60 year-olds usually have no DC living with them.

Surely they can't do that with DC living at home <mind boggles>

EnidRollins Mon 08-Apr-13 20:28:24

Lol at this thread, and seriously sympathise - our neighbour's got a new girlfriend and jeez, she's a screamer, and I can't help but want to laugh when I see her!
Seriously, though it's horrible and always about 3am at the weekends.
WTF do you say, I wouldn't know where to start! grin
Can't exactly shout something back through the walls as I have small people who'd wake up!

RatPants Mon 08-Apr-13 20:35:58

So glad my bedroom is on the other side of the house to the bit joining our neighbours'. grin

Toadinthehole Tue 09-Apr-13 01:29:53

Monty Python- Every Sperm is Sacred, or Sit On My Face and Tell Me That You Love Me.

MidniteScribbler Tue 09-Apr-13 02:41:05

Get some of those big numbers they use at some sports events with the scores printed on them. Every morning hold one up for her to see. ;)

quoteunquote Tue 09-Apr-13 16:36:33

I'm just waiting for the day when someone starts a thread,

every time I have sex my neighbour play the tune ........ WWYD?

kinkyfuckery Tue 09-Apr-13 16:44:11

Just ask her to move her bed away from the wall slightly!

cuteboots Tue 09-Apr-13 17:22:35

HA HA HA ! Cant stop laughing at the feedback.

kinkyfuckery- I would have to try and ask her but not laugh my pants off at the same time. Not sure thats going to happen at the mo ; 0)

cuteboots Tue 09-Apr-13 17:31:00

quoteunquote- she doesnt look like a mumsnetter but the day that thread appears I will just die of hysterical laughter ; 0)

ConfusedPixie Tue 09-Apr-13 17:39:12

I love this thread grin

Can you play Never Gonne Give You Up every time they have sex? Double effect of a theme tune AND rick rolling them...

Or the Trollolol song that Butlins have nicked for their adverts?

domesticslattern Tue 09-Apr-13 18:04:46

A loud round of applause, cheers, whistles etc when he comes.
A large group of us once did this to a loud shagging couple in a hall of residence at uuniversity. Great fun.

LouiseSmith Tue 09-Apr-13 18:45:08

Polietly tell her that if you continue to her her screaming and the bed banging as if in a struggle you will assume she is being attacked and call 999. smile


Toadinthehole Wed 10-Apr-13 06:38:08

Actually, I think the Countdown tune is best.

Except it might have to be repeated if they're having a really good time.

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