To wonder when I am supposed to get anything done?(8 Posts)
Hello. I don't know if I'm just hopelessly disorganised or trying to do the impossible.
I have 3 DC's under 5 and am a SAHM, and I just can't seem to get our family and home life organised. I find it near impossible to find time for cooking - proper home cooking from scratch - and the housework, oh the housework. It never gets done. Neither does organising any school paperwork, bills, checking bank statements, clearing out cupboards .... I could go on but you get the idea!
Am I just hopeless? Please can some of you fabulously together mums jump on and tell me where I'm going wrong?
I must admit I find it hard to concentrate on anything other than the children when I have them all with me. And I feel awful guilt if I get on with other stuff all day and don't really play with them. They do seem to need a lot of me if that makes sense. They won't go for more than a few second without needing to tell me/ show me what they're doing.
I love them dearly and plan to stay at home until they're all at school, but I am going slightly mad from the frustration of never getting anything done.
Didn't want to leave you unanswered - sorry I am not much help with this, but honestly I am not surprised that you are struggling. I only have 1 DC aged 4, I work f/t and DH p/t. Although DH is primary carer I still struggle with looking after DS for a whole day on my own, lovely as he is. I have struggled (often unsuccessfully) not to shriek: "FGS, why can't I get ANYTHING done?!" and/or "Why can I never FIND ANYTHING in this house!" It is getting easier, but I think under 5 is a very full-on and demanding stage generally.
Is there any chance you can pay for any domestic help or childcare, or make a reciprocal arrangement with someone you know? Even half a day a week would surely help you.
There is a huge thread full of scarily organised people here: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/a1373827-to-ask-how-you-become-organised-and-together-Seriously-how
Sorry, I'm not a fabulously together mum in any way shape or form. Just wanted to let you know you're not alone. Do you have a DP? Can he look after the DCs when he comes in from work for an hour to let you get on with the essentials? What about weekends?
Forget about feeling guilty - do they watch TV/DVDs? If so, an hour or so of that per day (possibly broken up into small chunks) is probably your best bet.
Not fabulously together mum here, either - but very, very sympathetic (and in awe of all looking after 3 or more under 5s!!!!)!
The only thing I can think of apart from some help is radical minimalising - the less stuff there is, the quicker everything is (superficially) cleaned. Slow cooker dinners? I'm dreaming of getting a Vitamix Blender - throw vegetables in, turn on, soup done in a few minutes!
Yanbu but it does take time to get organised. I've just finished mat leave so am now officially a sahm. I have 4 dc under 5. Decluttering is taking up a large part of my week at the moment. Short burst of cleaning in specific rooms each day rather than going omg I've got 7 areas to clean each day. Try not to be a perfectionist. I can guarantee it didn't take 1 day to get untidy so it's not going to take 1 day to sort it out. Join some of the threads on housekeeping. They've helped save my sanity.
No, not at all. It takes years. I had 3 under 4. as long as you can do some washing and meals. just do what you can.
My in laws used to sometimes have mine and my DH used to help. it is just hard work.
when you do have more time you don't want to do it as it is so tedious and spend time on mumsnet instead .
Can you do bits and pieces of housework with the dc helping? I only have 2 but that's how I manage (i object to spending too much of my precious childfree time cleaning). So tidying becomes the postman pat game, where objects are 'parcels' to be delivered to their homes, while I'm washing up dc splash around in the water next to me etc.
I don't know the exact ages of your children, but my friend looks after 3 children age 4 & under and they do tend to play with each other quite alot. Can you try & use the fact you have more than 1 to your advantage? Maybe they're too young right now, but definitely worth doing in the future.
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