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to tell him that his ex should really be sharing that picture? (WARNING: FACEBOOK RELATED ANGST)

(23 Posts)
AllyEttie Sun 07-Apr-13 21:22:03

I have a bloke on my Facebook who was once a really close family friend. He was my dad's best friend from school and they grew up on the same road, so really like brothers. Like my parents, he married young and had his kids around the same age- so both families were really close in age and enjoyed things like barbecues, birthdays and going out for breakfast on Sundays, ect. As the kids got older, both of our families started going to the pub together and all became quite close as adults and friends. Particularly I grew close to his wife who was the sweetest loveliest lady in the world and I was really lucky to be as close friends with her as my DM.

However, two years ago- he started an affair with an absolutely vile woman (the misogynistic albeit true phrase springs to mind 'eating a burger when you have steak at home') and when we was caught out, he left her and their two teenage sons (one who had leukemia at the time and had just gone into remission) apart from returning to verbally abuse her into getting out of the house so he can sell it. Didn't work, but his poor wife was so utterly ashamed she vanished off the face of the earth. No Facebook, texts or replies to invitations, me and DM stopped by to see if she was okay and she acted normal and invited us in for coffee but it was clear she didn't want us there and looked like she was going to burst into tears in a minute.

He's now got a second family, and has moved into this woman's flat with her three kids, and is playing grandad to her 15 year old daughters 8 month old baby- uploading pictures and statuses all the time about the kids and bubs, and it's so bloody sickening.

Anyway, he's just shared a picture which has 5 likes which says 'my ex is proof to how stupid i can be'. As he has only been with his wife, you don't need three guesses to who he is referring to. Who reckons as it's still early days in the relationship (ok, you're still honeymooning a bit two years later) he still feels the need to make out how crazy his wife was to the OW and badmouth her so publicly.

I know it's none of my business and I wouldn't dare comment because even though my dad doesn't like to see him any more, he would kick off for getting involved. And I know I shouldn't get involved, but IABU to be so utterly and completely disgusted with how someone could slate the mother of their children who he cheated on, harassed and left so fucking publicly to his 563 friends? Especially when his two lovely boys are on his friend's list too?

I have a right mind to get the train back home and ram his router up his arse and see if he can post cunty updates when the signals trying to get through his small intestine.

And J, if you're reading this- please please know that despite what that bastard is telling you, mum and dad are certainly not going to our little cafe for pancakes on sundays with her devil spawn or having them round for curry and wine. We miss you and want you back in our lives, and we keep on wanting to try and cut him out of ours.

HollyBerryBush Sun 07-Apr-13 21:26:39

Defriend him. You don't like him. You don't like his updates. So bin him.

WorraLiberty Sun 07-Apr-13 21:28:30

As terrible as that story is, Facebook is full of these little things.

I think the most common one is the cartoon pic of a woman driving a car. The caption says, "I ran into my ex today so I put the car in reverse and ran into him again".

I think people just click 'share' without thinking any more into it than that to be honest.

MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel Sun 07-Apr-13 21:29:11

'Devil spawn'? Do you mean her children? They aren't to blame for any of this so why do you feel the need to insult them?

If you hate him and his actions so much why is he even on your fb? He does sound like an utter knob end, but he can't upset you unless you let him.

AnyFucker Sun 07-Apr-13 21:29:53

Get him off your FB

It's an easy solution

But yes, YANBU for feeling completely disgusted with him

Keep giving it air time are in collusion

So you know what you need to do

shellbu Sun 07-Apr-13 21:39:38

just delete and block him , go visit the wife / friend and dont talk about him , bet she isnt bothered by it all and not interested in what hes doing or saying.

Iamsparklyknickers Sun 07-Apr-13 21:44:18

I don't think I'd be able to resist pointing out that the mother of his children can see his messages and it isn't really dad of the year material is it? Before getting rid.

WRT 'J', would you or your mum drop her a letter or card so she knows you understand and you're there when she's ready? It can be hard to restart contact after you've hidden yourself away. It's to easy to start thinking people are pissed off at you or have taken sides they haven't. She might just need a little reassurance that you understand and are happy to wait for her to get things straight in her head.

BruthasTortoise Sun 07-Apr-13 21:47:37

I generally think that anyone who feels the need to slate their former partners on FB, either by posting about them or posting up these kind of pictures isn't over the relationship and really needs to get a life. I think most people think the same. Unfriend, block and move on.

AllyEttie Sun 07-Apr-13 21:58:13

We tried the card and protested that OW was certainly no friend of ours. No reply. He has been filling her head with stories that all of his friends wives LOVE OW and they can see why he's with her now. It's so horribly vile.

I should unfriend him really.

At least my mum who isn't really into facebook still has him, so when we go home we can laugh about what a sad prick he is.

I'm a student so go back to parents in holidays and for summer and fuckwit still has the audicity to pop into our house, hang around outside my dad's office and get them to go to lunch together. He once tried to bring OW into our house and acted like my parents were the disrespectful ones when me and my mum wouldn't come downstairs and meet her and my dad wasn't 'friendly' enough.

Cheaters are so fucking deluded.

AllyEttie Sun 07-Apr-13 22:00:05

And I will call her kids devil spawn if I want to. I'm just a bit of a horrible cunt like that and still sore. Seems a bit weird to be getting so het up over family friends but J was like a cool big sister and I loved her so much. Can't believe someone can do this to their wife and have such utter disrespect to what happens after.

HollyBerryBush Sun 07-Apr-13 22:01:41

I don't see the difference to his bad mouthing and your bad mouthing TBH.

A lot of people just share cartoons without actually thinking about the inference behind them.

AllyEttie Sun 07-Apr-13 22:04:12


I fail to see how it is the same.

and it wasn't really a funny cartoon. Text on a background. And impossible to avoid the inference when you betrayed your wife so publicly and moved onto 'xxxx love you so much babezzzz' to another woman on Facebook when you're both middle aged.

AnyFucker Sun 07-Apr-13 22:04:24

kids are "devil spawn" ??

I draw the line at that

Are you blaming children for the fuck ups of adults ?

Out of order

AllyEttie Sun 07-Apr-13 22:07:49

Of course I'm not blaming the bloody kids AnyFucker, I feel sorry for them if anything.

Merely being ranty and venting on an anonymous web forum.

Lighthousekeeping Sun 07-Apr-13 22:08:00

Is there more to this??

Just defriend and block.

MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel Sun 07-Apr-13 22:08:00

Well putting very personal, private and very identifiable information on a public website about someone you 'loved so much isn't the cleverest of ideas, it isn't your information or life to share.

Insulting innocent children who have nothing to do with what their Mother was a part of is also nasty and immature.

If I were you I would get this thread pulled before your 'cool big sister J' sees it and actually falls out with you instead of just not speaking to you.

HollyBerryBush Sun 07-Apr-13 22:09:11

And I will call her kids devil spawn if I want to. I'm just a bit of a horrible cunt like that

yes you are.

Lighthousekeeping Sun 07-Apr-13 22:09:31

Who is the big sister? I'm getting confused.

LayMizzRarb Sun 07-Apr-13 22:10:33

Just de friend him. There are two sides to every story. Unless you are party to every single detail of what has gone on you are not in a position to Judge. You may be concerned for your friend, but unless she asks for your help try not to make it your business. Involvement on your part is just vicarious.

BruthasTortoise Sun 07-Apr-13 22:15:19

I would like to believe that ,after two years, J has probably moved on with her life and, if she's anything like other people I know who have been cheated on, has most likely realised that she was well rid of this man. Maybe she knows you and your DM would be full of sympathy and maybe she just doesn't want it. Nothing to do with her believing you are all super friendly with the OW. Or it could be that she sees you all as being her exs friends and wants to build a new support network which has nothing to do with her ex. Either way if you have made overtures and she has rejected them I think you should respect that.

DontSHOUTTTTTT Sun 07-Apr-13 22:16:12


I would ask for this thread to be deleted. It's very identifiable. I think you have made some unwise comments too.

PeachActiviaMinge Sun 07-Apr-13 22:16:24

"we keep on wanting to try and cut him out of ours."

"At least my mum who isn't really into facebook still has him, so when we go home we can laugh about what a sad prick he is."

Doesn't sound like you really want to cut him out of your lives. You're obviously going to defend your sister that's natural but right now you're being just as bad as him behaviour wise especially regarding the children. It's a little pathetic. Just delete him and move then you don't have to get annoyed over silly little jokes.

WorraLiberty Sun 07-Apr-13 22:20:43

Why have you got someone on your FB that you so obviously hate? confused

Or do you just like to read about his business and then get annoyed about it?

If so, that's a huge waste of energy.

Just block him.

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