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to give DS 7 yo so much responsibility?

(92 Posts)
Flojobunny Sat 06-Apr-13 23:53:44

DS gets breakfast ready, opens the curtains makes the beds, puts the rubbish out, puts the bins out on bin day, dresses himself, tidys the play room and his room, brings the laundry down, puts the laundry away and fetches lots of random items I need either upstairs or downstairs. When I wrote it down I realised it sounds like a lot. Exactly how bad is it?

MadameDefarge Sat 06-Apr-13 23:55:29

his breakfast? his bed? his laundry? his playroom? Its a lot even so. If more. what did your last slave die of? (as my old gran used to say).

Ouchmyhead Sun 07-Apr-13 00:00:22

I don't think it sounds like a lot; the majority of things are really just personal care and at 7 I think it's a good thing he's doing it! As a teacher, it is shocking how many 7 year olds cannot dress themselves, IMO that's worse!

Does he get pocket money for taking the bins out, making the beds and tidying his play room? If so I again think they're all age appropriate really, if he doesn't get any reward for it then maybe a little harsh!

Flojobunny Sun 07-Apr-13 00:03:22

His and his 4 yo DD usually and if he moans he can't be bothered then I shrug and say ok then I can't be bothered making tea tonight or (insert long list of chores I do).

WorraLiberty Sun 07-Apr-13 00:07:18

It does sound like a lot but then you sound as if you're purposely trying to make it a lot by including 'dressing himself' and 'opening the curtains'.

What NT 7yr old doesn't dress themselves and open the curtains?

Flojobunny Sun 07-Apr-13 00:07:36

I don't give him pocket money regularly but I do give him money or buy him a magazine or small toy every now and then (every 2 or 3 wks) because he's "been so helpful recently" etc and at the time when he's finished a big chores like tidying his room, I usually give him some sort of food treat.

muminthecity Sun 07-Apr-13 00:08:36

My DD is also 7 and does all of the above except the rubbish or laundry (though I do sometimes get her to help with the laundry, putting away odd bits of clean washing or helping carry dirty washing downstairs.)

Most of it sounds fine, but putting the bins out sounds like quite a big job for a 7 year old? My DD wouldn't be able to empty the big kitchen bin or carry the full bin bags, and she's big for her age.

FunnysInLaJardin Sun 07-Apr-13 00:10:20

Miles more than my 7yo ds does
. He will get himself dressed and get his own breakfast at a push

simpson Sun 07-Apr-13 00:10:25

I have a 7 yr old and I think it's too much. DS is expected to put his plates, cutlery etc after a meal either in the dishwasher or sink ( I tell him which).

He is also expected to put his laundry away, sometimes (not always) take clean cloths off clothes horse and put them in my room (for me to sort out) and to empty the waste bin (in his room only) open/close curtains (in his room) and he does get himself dressed etc...

I would not expect him to put the bins out for a good while yet (it's a horrid job that I hate and I cannot wait till he is old enough to delegate but it does involve carrying full/big bags of rubbish across the street/cul de sac) the only reason I don't ask him to do it now is that height wise he is tiny and the rubbish bags would be too heavy!!

He does like hoovering though <odd child>

Flojobunny Sun 07-Apr-13 00:10:29

I don't know, my mum seems to think I should be helping him get dressed and "mothering" him more, and I think I might have taken it to the other extreme. I was determined not to have a son who grows up not knowing how to do chores etc. DD tries to be helpful and I do give her stuff to do so that DS doesn't feel like its all him but she tends to mess things up further!

rhondajean Sun 07-Apr-13 00:11:40

No that sounds fine!

My 8yo does all of that except the bins which DH does, but also puts Way her own washing, empties the cutlery from the dishwasher, and sometimes even helps Hoover and dust (only if she asked to)

And I'm thinking perhaps she needs a bit more responsibility,

It depen if you view a parents job as to run after their dc or to teach trim to be responsible adults IMO.

simpson Sun 07-Apr-13 00:15:05

There is no way I would help a 7 yr old get dressed .

Tbh it does depend on how you feel about it, if you think it's too much then stop some chores but if you think it's ok ( as each 7yr old is different) then crack on!! grin

My friends in RL are totally shocked when I said that by the age of 11 I expect DS to cook once a week (beans/jacket spud on toast - nothing complicated).

Flojobunny Sun 07-Apr-13 00:15:12

With regards to bins, he liked helps sort out recycling, I educated him on what goes where and why and he enjoyed it and it grew from there. My kitchen bin is just tesco bag sized rubbish that he sometimes puts in big bin for me and he seems to like wheeling the big bin down the drive and back again, so the last few wks he has done that. Out of all the jobs I think the one he doesn't like is putting his washing away. I'm usually ironing them, while he's taking them.

rhondajean Sun 07-Apr-13 00:16:21

Dd2 takes out recycling and puts in the bin - she is just physically too small to put out our wheelie bins.

Flojobunny Sun 07-Apr-13 00:19:12

He's so compliant sometimes I feel I ask too much. Between the morning rush of chores, school, after school activities etc there doesn't seem any time to sit down and play.

Booyhoo Sun 07-Apr-13 00:19:26

my ds is 7

he makes his bed
opens his curtains
dresses himself
brings his washing down
makes his and his brother's breakfast whilst im in the kitchen putting the washing in or feeding the dog but not everyday as sometime i have it ready for them
he also, feeds the dog if he gets to it before i do and tops up his water if he notices it low
will take rubbish out if i ask him and take the bin down/up again on bin day
will put his washing away if i ask him
will load the machine and switch it on if i ask him
and tidies his room when i remind him

tbh the first 4 in my list aren't even things i consider 'jobs'. they're just normal, what everyone has to do for themself stuff.

the rest of the stuff i dont consider excessive and actually ds2 who is 3 will also do all that stuff too when asked apart from taking the bin down as it's too heavy, and i help him with his room as otherwise it would all end up in his toy box (clothes and everything)

it looks like a lot written down but spread over the course of the day these jobs take literally minutes each, even tidying his room as it is small and he keeps it generally tidy. dressing himself is probably the one that takes the longest for him to do.

i definitely dont think either of them do too much for their age and they get weekly treats when i do the shopping and i am very vocal about how great they are at helping and taking care of our house.

Booyhoo Sun 07-Apr-13 00:22:06

OP with the better weather/longer days coming you'll find you ds will have more time to play and chill. my dses seem to have plenty of chill time.

WorraLiberty Sun 07-Apr-13 00:22:42

He's so compliant sometimes I feel I ask too much. Between the morning rush of chores, school, after school activities etc there doesn't seem any time to sit down and play.

So reign it in and ask him to do less.

TheNurseryCryme Sun 07-Apr-13 00:28:24

Oh gosh, clearly I must be some post of wicked slave driver I think. My 5 and 6 year old often:
Load dishwasher
empty dishwasher
bring dirty clothes downstairs
put away clean clothes
they bedroom and play room
get breakfast out and sort themselves out
Feed pets
make rounds of sandwiches for lunch
wash the car and clean it out
Put groceries away
Pack their own school and PE bags
get themselves dressed

Obviously they don't do all of those things every week, and somethings would get done better if I did them myself.
I do expect them to help out around the house from time to time.

Last year they used to make their own packed lunches.

Flojobunny Sun 07-Apr-13 00:29:26

Oh and I gave him a bowl of warm water the other day and asked him to wash down the plastic patio furniture.....in my defense, he was the one that wanted to have his dinner on it.

nannyof3 Sun 07-Apr-13 00:36:40

He should do things in his own room.. Not the whole house.....

What do u do?????

His 7!

MadameDefarge Sun 07-Apr-13 00:42:39

your five and six year olds have to make their own packed lunches?

Sianilaa Sun 07-Apr-13 00:42:45

My 5 year old does a lot of that. I'd not help a 7yr old dress himself!

My DS: dresses himself, puts dirty laundry in the basket/helps to put it in the washing machine, sets the table, clears his plate and cutlery away, wipes the table down after meals. He cleans his room once a week and tidies it/makes the bed most days. He doesn't do meals yet but likes to help me cook. He is terrible for forgetting where he has put things so doesn't pack his own school bag without help. He is too little for bins I think.
Today we did a spring clean of the whole house and he and his 3 yr old brother helped with dusting and hoovering and wiping down skirting boards! They love it. They get extra stickers on their reward charts and sometimes I give them something for their money boxes if they've done it happily as well.

So as long as your son is happy and has time to chill out and play then I don't see the problem.

GettingGoing Sun 07-Apr-13 00:44:08

Bloody hell!

thezebrawearspurple Sun 07-Apr-13 00:48:08

It's good for him to develop these habits now. Adulthood is a very difficult transition for those who have to learn everything when they leave home and some never do!

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