to think this is the opposite of partnership?

[ruledbyheart]

DP and I had to scrap our car last week after it died again and it wasn't worth repairing anymore.

MIL offered to lend DP and I some money to buy a new car which was gratefully received and we both agreed to pay back.

Started looking for a car but I have had to go to my dad's for a couple of days so told DP he could still look and to keep me involved.

Before leaving we agreed car must be an automatic, mot'd and taxed for a couple of months at least.

So imagine my surprise when DP phones today and told me he has brought a car, without consulting me, it only has mot till the end of the month and no tax, so not what we agreed, apprently dealership has verbally agreed to mot it for another year next week, however I hold no hope as if they were going to mot it they would have before selling it.

So basically DP has gone my back and bought a car with no mot and no tax and spent the entire budget on this, that I have to help pay back.

AIBU to be furious with DP and seriously be reconsidering our relationship when partnership obviously means nothing and he does what he wants as soon as my back is turned?

[TidyDancer]

What was his justification for doing it?

Could he be thinking since it's his DM that has loaned the money, it's his choice?

Was it a joint car you scrapped (I know you said 'our car' but is this just a turn of phrase?)? I'm just wondering if you're thinking it's a joint thing and he perhaps isn't.

[ruledbyheart]

No its a joint car as we both pay 50/50 for it the old one and now this one.

He knew this one is being paid for us and half the money paid for said car is his mums money and we both have to pay it back.

His justification is its a good car.... thats it I haven't even seen a photo.

[ruledbyheart]

*by us not for us.

[LetMeAtTheWine]

They might not MOT until sold as if they did MOT then it sat on the forecourt or 6 months, it would be 6 months wasted, effectively.
Although I would be pissed off if it was bought without OH confirming with me that I was happy with it first.

[EuroShaggleton]

In my experience dealers often wait to sell a car before MOTing it as otherwise it is sitting on the forecourt while the months run by. I bought a car when the MOT was running out. Part of the deal was that it was done before I came collect it. It was.

I see your point on all the other stuff though.

[BoneyBackJefferson]

IME.

Most garages will put a full years MOT on the after it has been sold as it gives them a better selling bargaining chip, they will also normally put 6 moths tax on the car as well.

[ruledbyheart]

Problem is DP already collected car, drove it 40miles home with no tax, and hehas to take it back next week to get it mot'd

[ruledbyheart]

Also he can't tax until DVLA aware he owns it by then the couple of weeks MOT it does have will have ran out and he can't legally drive it down to re mot it, done over well and truly, what an idiot, yet he would have been told this had he have rang me, but no all because he has now got his little boy racer car he wanted, no matter the consequences.

[ruledbyheart]

He has spent entire budget on this car ao couldn't afford to mot it ourselves anyway and the only money left to pay for tax is my emergency fund.

[BoneyBackJefferson]

You can drive an un MOT'd car to the test centre with no MOT legally.

[MrsLion]

I think the main issue here is that he's gone out and done something that went directly against your agreement. No it doesn't show a partnership. A car is a big decision, and a lot of money and should be decided together.
I get the impression though, that you might be a little controlling and that the joint decision would have been dominated by what you wanted, and that he would have felt railroaded, hence why he went out and just bought it without you.

[StuntGirl]

Buying an unsuitable car you can't afford (and if you don't have enough money for the tax and mot then you can't afford it) is a pretty stupid move. Is he frequently stupid or is this a one off?

[BoneyBackJefferson]

What type of car did you want OP?
I suspect that he has gone out and got a corsa or similar.

[ruledbyheart]

Well done boney got it in one, not the make that bothers me all I wanted as stated was an automatic with tax/mot, not sure how that makes me control freak? It wad meant to be a joint decision but he made it all by himself and a bad decision at that.

[BoneyBackJefferson]

Could you not ring the garage and confirm what they are doing with the car.

i.e
DP says that the car is booked in for an MOT on x day and time I'm just ringing to make sure.

and similar for the tax, I have never heard of a garage sell a car without at least 6 months tax.
I have known them not put the tax on till the last minute.

[trinity0097]

You can tax the car with the small slip you get from the dealer, you don't have to wait for the proper document t come from the DVLA.

[ruledbyheart]

No idea where he bought it from, I know basic spec and thats it, so annoyed he spent so much money without including me.
Thanks Trinity that's good to know.

[RVPisnomore]

While I can see why you're cross if you're thinking about reconsidering your relationship then I think that's an over reaction or there are other issues.

[Alwayscheerful]

Why did he bring the car home, he could have asked the garage to tax and mot it and collect it when ready, garages will usually mot for a whole year and they will make a note on the receipt.

[ruledbyheart]

Alwayscheerful exactly why did he?
RVP because I'm sick of my opinions not counting for anything, Im sick of spending my money on something I didn't agree to in the first place.

[RVPisnomore]

As I said OP there is more than just this.