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To think that SAHP's being called morally pernicious is jugely judgemental?

(76 Posts)
flaminhoopsaloolah Sat 06-Apr-13 10:57:50

Not trying to start a bun-fight (though it is AIBU) but is it ok for working parents to point the finger at SAHP's choices and question their morals?

LibertineLover Sat 06-Apr-13 10:59:21

do they?

AgentZigzag Sat 06-Apr-13 11:01:11

Who's said it?

FreudiansSlipper Sat 06-Apr-13 11:04:36

I have seen far more posts along the lines of well I want to bring up my own kids blah blah blah

I personally do not know anyone who looks down on sahm with young children, I know a few including myself who question why once children are at school they do not want to work or go back to education and/or have no desire other than to be a sahm

gorionine Sat 06-Apr-13 11:04:59

Where did you see that?

TheChaoGoesMu Sat 06-Apr-13 11:06:12

Where did you hear that?

AgentZigzag Sat 06-Apr-13 11:10:10

Googling it just brings up this thread and nothing else.

Not trying to start a bun fight my arse grin

LibertineLover Sat 06-Apr-13 11:11:21

flamin ?? Care to elaborate?

flaminhoopsaloolah Sat 06-Apr-13 11:12:04

I've just been told that deciding to have a parent stay hat home is "morally pernicious" and wondered what others thought about this? I've done both, BTW, think both have advantages and disadvantages and it's all down to personal choice and no one has the right to judge what a family decides is best for its members.

HollyBerryBush Sat 06-Apr-13 11:14:00

Who told you? and in what context?

flaminhoopsaloolah Sat 06-Apr-13 11:14:29

I'm sorry Zigzag - you think I am trying to start a bunfight? I really am interested in opinions. I do realise that it could be a sensitive subject but am hoping for a rational discussion without going down the line of who is better than whom and all that nonsense...

LibertineLover Sat 06-Apr-13 11:14:44

Well whoever said that sounds a bit of a dick, it's not unusual for one parent to look after the child/children they have surely?

PicaK Sat 06-Apr-13 11:14:58

causing harm or death to morals??!!

random. step away from whoever said that. quickly!

Mumsyblouse Sat 06-Apr-13 11:15:36

Who told you that? (if it's Xenia, I am not surprised!)

I don't think this is a common thing to say or to see on these boards, that's why I won't be discussing it.

AgentZigzag Sat 06-Apr-13 11:15:45

Who said it to you flamin?

It's an unusual conversation filler.

Just tell them 'both have advantages and disadvantages and it's all down to personal choice and no one has the right to judge what a family decides is best for its members'.

Or to fuck off, whatever suits.

HumphreyCobbler Sat 06-Apr-13 11:16:58

Whoever said that is being silly. It is not a view I have heard on here.

tilder Sat 06-Apr-13 11:17:13

Calling anybody morally pernicious is pretty offensive and certainly not justified for being a sahp.

I have been called similar for working despite having children. Tis a heated issue and a lot of people seem to think working or not working when you have children makes you fair game for all sorts of unpleasant comments. Is almost always aimed at women, often by women.

flaminhoopsaloolah Sat 06-Apr-13 11:17:14

Holly - in the context of whether a family choosing to have a SAHP is morally pernicious or not.

I currently am an SAHP, I personally don't think it is lazy or morally pernicious.

Casmama Sat 06-Apr-13 11:18:47

It's not judgemental it's total fucking nonsense and I will be amazed if you find anyone who says differently. I wouldn't give this a moments further thought.

CecilyP Sat 06-Apr-13 11:18:53

You still haven't really given the context, flamin.

HollyBerryBush Sat 06-Apr-13 11:19:26

But who said to you that it was morally pernicious?

BruthasTortoise Sat 06-Apr-13 11:21:17

I've personally seen much more judgement about WOHMs. The implication on SAHMs is that they may not contribute financially, the implications for WOHMs is that they don't love their children and are happy for someone else to raise them. I know which I would consider to be the harsher judgement.

flaminhoopsaloolah Sat 06-Apr-13 11:22:48

The person I was talking to feels that people who choose to stay at home are lazy and morally pernicious - I'm' not going to use someone's name on the internet, I don't think that's really relevant. They work, hard by the sounds of it, but I don't feel that gives them the right to judge someone who is in a family situation where one parent can stay at home and chooses to do so because they feel it is doing the right thing for their children.

BoysAreLikeDogs Sat 06-Apr-13 11:25:16

who told you this OP?

I don't think I know what morally pernicious MEANS [puzzled face]

pernicious means harmful, wicked; it's obvs not a compliment, arf

BoysAreLikeDogs Sat 06-Apr-13 11:28:14

oh sorry x post

yes ok to say an acquaintance/friend/relative or whatever rather than give their identity

well I say you should give this person the Order Of The Boot

unless of course you are in your turn giving out about the perils of not Being At Home for your children and Why Have Them.

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