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AIBU to not want my fiance to go out drinking when I am pregnant?

(15 Posts)
SamuelAndOscarsMummy Sat 06-Apr-13 00:30:20

Title says it all really.
I genuinely want to know if it is too much to ask for him to just not do it when I'm pregnant and have an 18 month old to look after as well.
It's not so much the actual going out it's more the hangovers that annoy me, feel SO resentful that he can lay about all day whilst I still have to do everything when I have anaemia and feel shit when it ISN'T my own fault!
Turned into more of a rant than I meant it to sorry!

anonymosity Sat 06-Apr-13 00:34:22

YANBU. Going out is ok. Being hungover is definitely not ok. He needs to grow up and fast -like 18+ months ago.

YouTheCat Sat 06-Apr-13 00:38:28

Yeah, fine to go out but going out and getting leathered when you've got young kids isn't on really.

SamuelAndOscarsMummy Sat 06-Apr-13 00:39:11

Thank you smile you don't know how reassuring it is to hear that someone agrees and I'm not just a horrible controlling person!

YouTheCat Sat 06-Apr-13 00:39:12

Unless of course, you're it is a turn taking thing with the getting pissed. Which clearly it wouldn't be at the moment.

CandlestickOlder Sat 06-Apr-13 00:39:42

How often is this? YABU if it's once every few months. YANBU if it's once a week.

Do you ever get the chance to lay around for a day and do nothing? If not why not?

TidyDancer Sat 06-Apr-13 01:17:14

Yes this definitely depends on the frequency. If you are trying to put a ban on it full stop, then YABU. If he's doing it a lot, then YANBU.

nextphase Sat 06-Apr-13 01:47:35

YAB(a little)U

Don't think you can put a halt to all social activities, however if he then gets a day to do whatever he wants one day at the weekend, then you should to. If he chooses to spend his morning "off" sleeping off a hang over, well, thats his choice.

I was known to kick DH out of bed at 8am, having been up for 2 hrs with the kids, even when hung over. The kids thought it was great - babysat by a film.......

NatashaBee Sat 06-Apr-13 02:11:22

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ouchmyhead Sat 06-Apr-13 02:15:28

I think it all depends on how pregnant you are and how often he does this!

Nearly due and he's out every weekend - YANBU, he needs to spend more time at home and help you!

5 months and he does it once a month or hardly ever - YABU, he does deserve a social life, and it's unfair to expect him to drop every social event because you are pregnant.

You could always say to him 'go out and have fun, just please don't get hammered so you're hungover all day tomorrow!'

Bartlebee Sat 06-Apr-13 02:23:30

Agree, it depends on his far along you are & how often he goes it.

Nanny0gg Sat 06-Apr-13 11:08:20

Nearly due and he's out every weekend - YANBU, he needs to spend more time at home and help you!
Really? Help?
Is it not his home too? Is the DC not his too? He is not helping his fiancée, he should be pulling his weight in his own home with his own family.
He is presumably a grown man, with a growing family and it's about time he acted like it.
Going out (occasionally) is fine. Going out and therefore being incapable the next day is not.
And being the advanced age I am, I don't actually understand why he wants to do it.
I don't know if the OP works as well, but she clearly isn't sailing through this pregnancy, and it's not unreasonable for her to expect some support at weekends.

Nanny0gg Sat 06-Apr-13 11:10:38

Sorry, I realise that Ouchmyhead was supporting the OP too, I just get a bit cross when it doesn't seem to be equally the partner's responsibility.

Cat98 Sat 06-Apr-13 11:14:29

YANBU. Don't listen to all the 'controlling' crap you may hear from some people, he's being selfish. You and the children should be his priority at the moment.

Snoopingforsoup Sat 06-Apr-13 11:51:01

Agree with the majority. Going out is fine. Getting in your way with a lousy hangover the next day is far from fine with young kids, let alone a pregnant partner.
He needs to find an off switch or just not go out! He's being selfish, YANBU.

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