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To lie in bed watching the spider on the ceiling getting closer and closer to husbands open wardrobe...

(65 Posts)
ilovecolinfirth Fri 05-Apr-13 21:24:14

It might crawl in and hide amongst his shirts...which would be a shame, but I'm too tired to get up. The reason I'm too tired to get up is because I'm getting sleepless nights due to 20 week old DS, and last night, as well as every other night DH is just "too tired to get up " and try to help him get back to sleep...

PurpleStorm Fri 05-Apr-13 21:26:55

I'm sure it'll be fine.

It'll catch any flies getting into the wardrobe, so you win there wink

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere Fri 05-Apr-13 21:27:49

YABGrosslyUnreasonable. You should be running around screaming in abject terror. That's what I would be doing and I am never unreasonable.

AgentZigzag Fri 05-Apr-13 21:28:53

Yes, because you're wide awake and raring to go when you have to get up and see to your DS, I bet hmm

Will he be bothered by the monster being amongst his shirts though?

I haven't had wardrobes in the house since I put on a dressing gown from one about 20 years ago only to find a humungous one crawling up the front <shit myself face>

AgentZigzag Fri 05-Apr-13 21:30:40

Oh no, does this mean they're going to be coming out of their hiding places because it's spring?

Lucyellensmum95 Fri 05-Apr-13 21:33:40

You do realise that if the spider snuggles down into one of your DH's shirts and your DH puts the shirt on, the spider is likely to bite him! grin

SuzySheepSmellsNice Fri 05-Apr-13 21:36:27

You need to get up, grab a few tissues, bunch them up, then very very gently and carefully set fire to them and burn your house down... (obvs after escaping with DS) smile


KirstyJC Fri 05-Apr-13 21:37:13

Very reasonable of you I think. If I wasn't so pathetically scared of spiders myself I would probably do the same.

And I have been bitten by a spider, it isn't nice but it won't kill him.

RevoltingPeasant Fri 05-Apr-13 21:40:05

When we used to live in France there were feckloads of these things.

Once, I opened my wardrobe to find a really giant one hanging between my freshly ironed top from the night before, and the rail.

It was cannibalising another monster spider.

I gently closed the door and decided to wear yesterday's shirt to work....

<shudder shudder shudder at memory>

ilovecolinfirth Fri 05-Apr-13 21:41:34

Bollocks! I had to get out of bed in the end and get husband. Spider decided to ignore open wardrobe, do 2 laps of the ceiling and wait above my head. Apparently the average person swallows 8 spiders in their sleep every year!

SuzySheepSmellsNice Fri 05-Apr-13 21:45:24


Loulybelle Fri 05-Apr-13 21:49:44

Seriously, that fucker woulda been up my vacuum cleaner by now.

Spiders are evil, anyone who says they are more scared of you, is a fucking liar and working for the Evil League of Spiders, i suspect my friend is working for them.

jinsymaw Fri 05-Apr-13 21:49:52

Yanbu. Ahahahah. My DH is the same, feckinlacy article. when faced with such adversity i attempt the glass And the bit of cardboard while whooping like those whooper monkeys. Oooooo ooowwah! The only thing that stops me swirling them to an early grave doon plug hole is karma!!!!!!!bi don ' t worry to come back as a daddy long legs. Poor bastards, once they touch carpet it's game over.

RevoltingPeasant Fri 05-Apr-13 21:50:46

sad Please don't say that.

<sobs quietly>

My other most terrifying moment - I'm sure you all want to hear this - is leaning forward in a perfectly arachnid-free bathroom to put my contact lenses in. Leant back from the mirror - chanced to glance down - the most enormous HAIRY black spider was between my feet on the floor.

I have no idea how I got out of there without touching it.

PurpleStorm Fri 05-Apr-13 21:52:09

Can't spiders get out of vacuum cleaners?

AgentZigzag Fri 05-Apr-13 21:53:58

Purple - shutupshutupshutupshutupshutupshutup

Loulybelle Fri 05-Apr-13 21:56:01

No purple, something about the suction kills them, too much pressure.

RevoltingPeasant Fri 05-Apr-13 21:58:07

Purple yes they can!!!! Final horrible story - alone in house one night so vac'd up enormous spider. Foolishly, I left the hoover outside the open bedroom door.

Just before going to bed, found exact same spider crouching on carpet between me and the door, on top of my discarded pants. Cue panicked text to DH: 'There is a giant spider in the bedroom wearing my underwear!!'

It really wasn't funny at the time.

Loulybelle Fri 05-Apr-13 21:59:44

Oh shit, i need to rethink my spider killer now, thanks Peasant,

<FREAKED OUT NOW!!!!!!!!!!>

Loulybelle Fri 05-Apr-13 22:01:52

Tbh though, <touches wood> no i cant i feel i may jinx myself if i dare say it.

RevoltingPeasant Fri 05-Apr-13 22:04:24

Well, either that or it was the spider's identical twin brother.

Do you think I could go on Jeremy Kyle with that? 'I murdered him, and now his identical twin brother hangs out in my bedroom trying on my knicks'....

sleeton Fri 05-Apr-13 22:06:20

Pop a glass over spider, slide piece of paper between wall and glass, carry glass outside and tip.

Much less trouble than getting the vacuum cleaner out.

Loulybelle Fri 05-Apr-13 22:07:56

i think it depends on the size of the evil bastard itself.

But i have a real horror story, friend up north, has new oven fitted, few hours later, finds a MASSIVE spider in said oven, in the picture you could see it crawling up the glass.


ilovecolinfirth Fri 05-Apr-13 22:08:33

RevoltingPeasant , excellent Jeremy Kyle topic. By the way if Arachnaphobia was real life and not a film I would NOT be hanging around with you! ;)

Loulybelle Fri 05-Apr-13 22:08:46

Sleeton, i can do that shit, i have to have a certain distance.

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