dp live together, have done for a while. No kids. I work 15 mile away from our home and it takes 2 hours each way to/from work on public transport. Today I worked a corker of a shift, long and very busy. If dp picks me up from work in his car it takes 30 mins on motorway to get home as opposed to my usual 2 hours hellish two bus journey. I had headache and was shattered after work, so I text dp and asked him if he minded picking me up from work when he finished. He was at work which is about 20 mins drive from home and 30 mins from my work. Dp refused, said he was tired as he'd be on since 5am, and came on home.
Now, I am really mad because I think of how much I do for DP, and he cant frigging pick me up this once.
He'd been home 2.5 hours when I arrived home. All he'd done was make the bed. He hadn't washed the pots from last night, filled the pets water up (was almost empty) put the rubbish out, fuck all, but then he never, ever does. There's some wet washing in hallway ready to be put on clothes horse, but he's not fucking done it. I don't mind doing it all, but come on, a favour for me once in a while for cleaning his crap up, cooking him a meal, cleaning his clothes etc...he honestly does not lift a finger, and to top it all off, he'll leave empty cartons out, not put in the bin, worktops unclean when he's chopped something. Tonight he left an empty box of his tablets on the table when the bin is two feet away, and empty blisters of tablets too. What really pissed me off though is that we have pets that crawl the floor. Time and time again I've seen he's dropped a tablet and not picked it up. I've asked him to be very careful coz if the little fluffies overdose I'll be very upset.
AIBU?
To feel that dp takes me for granted
annabanana84 · 05/04/2013 20:03
He's not doing you a favour at all! It's his stuff too and he doesn't seem to think it's his 'job'.
The things you describe at the end of your OP sound like the things my 12 YO DD does, but for another adult to leave it to their DP is a bit different and not on.
He was up early it has to be said, but it's a bit shitty of him not to make a effort to lighten your load.
(What are the pets which crawl the floor but are fluffy? 
)
'Quite often, the more you do for people the less they notice that it needs to be done and that it does get done. Then the grumpier they get about being expected to do any of it, even occasionally.'
Very true. And I would say the clincher for me (in a DP/H) is what they do about it when you call them on it.
Thankfully DH makes an effort and admits to being a cheeky bastard his overwork and tiredness expressing itself in doing less around the house and starts doing stuff. And that means a lot to me.
But if he tried to turn it round into me 'nagging' (a word I banned first time he tried to use it on me 
and never used since) and that I wasn't doing enough, sparks would fly.
I do most stuff around the house and don't mind in the slightest, but I do it because I want to, not because I'm expected to without gratitude (I don't mean grovelling gratitude, but just an occasional thank you, does me)
If he cared about you at all, he would pick you up from work as a matter of course. Ten minutes extra driving for him, to give you an extra 2 hours at.home with him? He obviously doesn't give a shit about you 
#1 how often do you ask him to pick you up from work? If it really isn't often at all then surely he should comprehend that if you ever ask him for this (relatively unusual?) favour then you presumably really, really want picking up and it would be decent of him to oblige.
#2 I wasn't 100% clear if you meant your DP would have an extra long drive to collect you, or if he would be going a mere 10 minutes or so out of his way - if the former I can understand his reluctance after an early start and a long day at work (but I would still do it for a loved one - especially if it wasn't a regular demand and they told me they were feeling under the weather) if it was just the 10 minute detour then he is a bit of a selfish bloody wanker to leave you sitting on a bus for ages when he could have easily whisked you off home. I do think that if you can learn to drive then you should though - 4 hours on a bus every working day is madness.
#3 Did you tell him you didn't feel very well when you asked to be picked up? If you did and he didn't care then shame on him. If you didn't mention it then why not?
#4 Do the two of you work similar hours? (Both full time? Roughly similar amounts of time spent on the job?) If so do you get similar amounts of leisure time? Or do you spend disproportionate amounts of time doing housework while he sits on his arse doing whatever tickles his fancy - while apparently unable to even locate a bin for his own rubbish? 
If so then he is a lazy twat and frankly you're a wee bit of a mug for putting up with his chronic piss-taking laziness.
#5 Assuming you might want children at some point... Can you imagine adding the demands of a child to the mix? Doesn't the very idea of having a baby with this lazy manchild just make you want to rip out your hair in despair? If you had a baby with him then I suspect you would have to prepare yourself to do ALL the work of having a baby - and he might sometimes do you a 'favour' by watching the child while you do the washing up or something.
#6 Consider chucking him back in the pond you found him in; just judging from what you have written, he is a frog - not a prince.
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