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To find people who dominate conversation extremely annoying to the point that it makes me want to tell them to STFU?

(12 Posts)
Haughtyculture Thu 04-Apr-13 23:25:18

Am I?

Two recent examples of conversation dominators:

Firstly was a woman a couple of weeks ago on a night out. We went out for a meal, there were 8 of us in total, seated on a round table. I don't know the woman that well, she's the friend of a friend, but she has form for being very loud. She dominated the entire 3 hour meal talking very loudly about herself, to the point that none of us could start any conversations between ourselves as she kept trying to engage everyone and if others of us did talk she'd just talk over us. Longest. Three. Hours. Ever. Of course, it was all about her. And all about her life. And her children. And her hobbies. A few of us made attempts to talk but she just talked over us. I will not be going on any other group nights out if she's there!

Secondly, a woman from my NCT group. Again there are 8 of us. Said woman is very loud, very opinionated. What she says is right. And she has no time or inclination to listen to others. Consequently any meet ups we have are dominated by stories about her children, her work, what she thinks of this,that and the other, and how we are all terrible parents for not doing as she does. Literally at any full group meets there is zero chance of having any conversation with anyone else. She talks so loudly and if you stop listening to her or speak to another friend or to your childr, she starts calling your name, like a teacher getting the attention of a talking child in class.

I like my NCT group and don't want to stop meeting with them all, and I know others feel a similar way but it just wouldn't be right to exclude this one woman. She is so irritating though.

PomBearWithAnOFRS Thu 04-Apr-13 23:33:08

Either exclude her or say to her "has anyone ever told you just how annoying your habit of talking continually and loudly all about yourself actually is?" and raise an inquiring eyebrow.
If nobody ever tells her, how will she know?
And if it's "not right to exclude her" then you'll have to put up with her - why is it not right? because she pisses everyone off and stops you all talking and enjoying your meetings? or because none of you dare tell her she's an annoying bore? Man up and either exclude her or get her told.
Don't just whine behind her back, what's the point? We don't know her and are unaffected by her... grin

5Foot5 Thu 04-Apr-13 23:34:40

I like my NCT group and don't want to stop meeting with them all, and I know others feel a similar way but it just wouldn't be right to exclude this one woman. Don't see why not. You can't hang around in a group od 8 for ever so just arrange to meet up with the people you like and avoid the irritating ones.

Haughtyculture Thu 04-Apr-13 23:37:20

I like them all, she's the only annoying one. And I think it'd be mean to arrange a meet for 7 of us and leave her out.

I think someone will have to tell her to shut up at some point hopefully it won't have to be me though. I have a feeling she would burst into tears or make herself into a victim of nastiness though....

TheChaoGoesMu Thu 04-Apr-13 23:42:08

Why can't you start your own conversations? Seriously, with that many at the table, how can she possibly take over the whole thing? confused

Haughtyculture Thu 04-Apr-13 23:43:28

She was extremely loud!!

TheChaoGoesMu Thu 04-Apr-13 23:45:42

Can't you switch away from that? Seriously, my dc are v loud, but I can and do switch off enough to converse with other people.

littlemissbunny Thu 04-Apr-13 23:46:30

Yanbu, in fact you could be talking about my OH! He likes the sound of his own voice grin

Haughtyculture Thu 04-Apr-13 23:52:33

hmm well yes in some ways we could switch off from her loudness but she kept constantly looking round the table getting eye contact with us all, and if any of us spoke separately she'd keep looking at us and speaking louder and louder, repeating herself until we gave her our attention. It was quite stressful actually

sjupes Thu 04-Apr-13 23:54:38

My mother does this. Drives me batty - ''i've had a hard week, your gran this, my dp that, my sk are nightmares''for the first twenty minutes of a conversation - not ''hello dd are you busy? I can call back later? You're able, lovely! How are you? And dp, the dcs? Marvellous so what has been happenig at your end...'' like every other person who calls for me does!

She has been on call reject for over 2 months now blush tbf tho i did tell her she was incredibly self centred and she apologised, i took her off call reject and she phoned at 11.30pn! Who does that??! She knows i'm usually in bed for ten sad

Op, your two examples are both situations i could not abide, i'd have to say something especially to the nct lady.

TheChaoGoesMu Thu 04-Apr-13 23:56:46

I can't really imagine that tbh. What else is going on ? Do you not feel confident in that setting yet? Do you not like her?

thezebrawearspurple Fri 05-Apr-13 00:18:04

Just ignore them and carry on with your own conversation. Nobody can turn a meal or meeting into their own show unless everyone allows them to!

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