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to be absolutely f****ing furious with DH?

(62 Posts)
Supermim Thu 04-Apr-13 20:41:13

Just seen an email confirming his week playing golf in Portugal next month - he hasn't even mentioned it to me before!!!!!!!!!! And it's not the first time - he did the same thing two years ago and made me look a complete prat at the golf club as I was the only mug who didn't know her DH was going away!!
He says he hasn't confirmed yet (even though his name is on the email, flights are booked, hotel booked etc., deposit paid and I think balance paid as it was due 13/03/13! He also says he hasn't paid but I think he lies ! And anyway I believe I have a right to be fuming just because he didn't consult me about it/mention it to me at all??? I have told him if he goes he won't have a wife to come back to - which he says is not very nice !!
Your opinions please,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

VitoCorleone Thu 04-Apr-13 21:11:31

I would hit the roof if my DP done this.

Supermim Thu 04-Apr-13 21:29:15

yes and he kept saying he wasnt sure if he was going yet - but of course he knows, and has paid!

Bridgetbidet Thu 04-Apr-13 21:30:01

If it is going to cause you financial problems then YANBU.

If it's not then YABU. I suspect he didn't tell you because he thought you would react badly and tell him he couldn't go.

Why is it a problem for him to go away on his own golfing? Would you not go away with friends for a break given a chance?

Booyhoo Thu 04-Apr-13 21:32:54

are there children and is it out of joint money?

Supermim Thu 04-Apr-13 21:36:26

Yes he is normally a selfish pig, but also a bit of a psycho so I am worried about what will happen if I tell him not to come back. And don't get me wrong, my girls and I have a great time when he's away ; its the sheer deceitfulness and lack of respect that has incensed me! Also the fact that he denies he did the same thing a couple of years ago! He denies he has paid when it is pretty obvious he has. So many things - I really feel this is the straw that broke the camel's back - how do I forgive this one? Thanks so much for your support

AnyFucker Thu 04-Apr-13 21:37:38

Surely it is the lying and deceit for the second time that is the problem here ?

Not the fact that it is ok for couples to have the occasional holiday apart

Booyhoo Thu 04-Apr-13 21:38:02

a bit of a psycho?

op are you safe? you are afraid of him?

AnyFucker Thu 04-Apr-13 21:39:32

If this is your straw, then so be it

It is like he is daring you to end it

I would call his bluff and tell him he isn't welcome, whether he goes on the trip or not

It's no big surprise that this game playing is part of a bigger picture of abuse and manipulation

MomaP Thu 04-Apr-13 21:40:24

YADNBU. What a sod!

If he goes, I would definitely consider whether you have a future with this man?


Lucyellensmum95 Thu 04-Apr-13 21:40:51

Your last post is very worrying sad This isn't the only cuntish thing he does is it - let him go, then leave. Seriously he has zero respect for you

I'm not sure that 'How do I forgive this one?' is the question you should be asking here.

The fact you describe him as
a bit of a psycho' worries me sad

Is there anything else?

Supermim Thu 04-Apr-13 21:45:29

Yes, of course this has been going on for 20 years. He has the ability to completely be devoid any any emotion and cut someone out of his heart (i.e. his own mother) and, to be honest I am worried about how nasty he could get if I ended it all. If he is daring me to do it because it's what he wants I will stand a better chance of not suffering in some way. So I will do what I usually do and let him get away with it - just hate him a bit more in the process.......

mercibucket Thu 04-Apr-13 21:45:44

Gives you a lot of time and space to get all the money, change the locks and bag up his stuff

mercibucket Thu 04-Apr-13 21:45:44

Gives you a lot of time and space to get all the money, change the locks and bag up his stuff

MrsBombastic Thu 04-Apr-13 21:46:56

Totally agree with you! You go girl!

AnyFucker Thu 04-Apr-13 21:47:33

Ah yes

You can get out you know ?

he isn't Superhuman and above the law, he's just a man despite his inflated opinion of himself

you need to get some real life support

I suggest starting with Women's Aid

Fairenuff Thu 04-Apr-13 21:48:02

I have told him if he goes he won't have a wife to come back

YABU to say this if you don't mean it. What's the point?

youmaycallmeSSP Thu 04-Apr-13 21:48:47

sad I'm sorry.

Supermim Thu 04-Apr-13 21:49:19

Thanks so much everybody - but must get some sleep - have work in the morning. Keep your comments coming though x

Scrubber Thu 04-Apr-13 22:05:10

If you want to leave him (and it sounds like you'd be better off without him), let this be your chance. Use the time he's away to sort your life out. flowers

Womens aid is a good starting point.

Doha Thu 04-Apr-13 22:49:35

Don't threaten if you are not prepared to follow through.
He has got away with it once, you know he is lying are you really prepared to let him away with it again.
If so more fool you.

Ouchmyhead Thu 04-Apr-13 22:59:13

He's put of order for not mentioning it to you. I thought you were out of order for threatening to leave him because of it (I'd be annoyed at DP if he'd done this, I wouldn't end a whole relationship because of it) however after your second/third post I think there's probably more to it than just this incident so I'd say if you need to leave him, him being away is the perfect week to get everything sorted and make sure you and your DC's are sorted and safe.

StuntGirl Thu 04-Apr-13 23:08:20

He's going away for a week. You can get a lot done in a week. Just sayin'.

Pilgit Thu 04-Apr-13 23:11:12

You are his wife not a servant. Therefore any decision such as this that affected family holiday time (it will do as presumably he'll have to use holiday entitlement to get the time off) or family finances is a subject of discussion NOT unilateral decision. Of course a week away is perfectly acceptable, but the way he is going about it isn't. I suggest you get this moved to the relationships board as there are some people over there that can point out exactly how wrong this is!

Supermim Fri 05-Apr-13 16:59:51

how do i move it to the relationships board?

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