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AIBU Re 18 cert games and Bedtime?

(11 Posts)
Gossipmonster Thu 04-Apr-13 17:49:16

My normally lovely DS (15) has just accused me of being The. Worlds. Strictest. Parent.

Background so not accused of drip feeding. I am a single parent (I have a partner but he works away doesn't live here and kids aren't his). I work full time and have a DD 13 and a DS2 11.

After months of nagging just before Xmas I put his bedtime up to 10pm. I don't expect him to go to sleep necessarily and it's later than his siblings but I expect him to be ready for bed although he has his laptop and phone in his room - I just want 1/2 hr to an hr to myself downstairs before I also go to bed, he is very absent minded and I would not trust him to lock up and turn everything off anyway.

My partner pays for his phone (iphone) and he gets pocket money for doing things around the house (often when asked to help around the house there is a massive amount of eye rolling and sighing).

He has an x-box (which I bought for Xmas after a few years of asking even though they have a Wii and DS's) which he shares with his brother. I allow him (DS1). To play 16 games but I refuse to allow him to play 18s. On top of me thinking and wishing more parents would do the same as I don't feel they are appropriate/he needs to be playing them - part of my job involves esafety so I would be a bit if a hypocrite to allow him anyway.

He is mortified by this (esp when playing x-box live he says he has to find excuses for why he can't play COD etc) and after being let down today by a mate whose house he is supposed to be staying at I asked why he never has his mates round here (I love having their friends here). He said its because I am so strict ands it so embarrassing that he is not allowed to play 18's and he has a bedtime. "None" of his friends have a bedtime and they are "all" allowed to play 18s - obvs I know to take this with a pinch of salt - but he was really upset and nearly crying which he never does sad.

So AIBU?

Andro Thu 04-Apr-13 17:52:14

YANBU, you are being a responsible parent.

Gossipmonster Thu 04-Apr-13 17:52:42

Oh yes and he also said "I am NEARLY 18 anyway" grin

Floralnomad Thu 04-Apr-13 17:55:12

Fair do about the 18 games but I probably agree with him about the bedtimes ,especially if you still stick to it in the holidays / weekends .

Gossipmonster Thu 04-Apr-13 17:59:37

No do not stick to it in holidays or weekends.

teacherandguideleader Thu 04-Apr-13 18:01:37

YANBU - the age ratings are there for a reason. I wish more parents would take notice of them. Whilst he might have access to the games at friends' houses, what he does in your house is up to you. I also think his bedtime is reasonable - I have far too many tired children coming to school who can't learn because they can barely stay awake. Saying that, I think the bedtime rules should be relaxed in the holidays (I'm not sure about weekends - late nights at the weekend usually ends up with tired children all week as they haven't caught up).

Floralnomad Thu 04-Apr-13 18:11:26

Can't see what his problem is then ,you'd hardly have loads of 15 yr olds hanging around your house after 10 on a school night . You sound entirely reasonable and he sounds like a typical 15 yr old , good luck !

Sianilaa Thu 04-Apr-13 18:12:20

I don't think YABU at all, those games are so violent and addictive. Plus they do need sleep to function properly! As you relax the bedtime rules in the holidays I don't see the problem.

If he got a Saturday job at 16/17 and wanted to play those kind of games if probably let him if he was able to buy one himself but he wouldn't be allowed to play it around his younger siblings.

Did you explain to him why you feel the way you do?

Gossipmonster Thu 04-Apr-13 18:16:34

Yes he knows why.

Gossipmonster Thu 04-Apr-13 19:50:15

He has now gone over to said mates. I guess to play COD.

Feel like I am fighting a losing battle and just pushing him out to his mates houses sad

ImTooHecsyForYourParty Thu 04-Apr-13 19:53:33

I'm the same. My 13 year old moans at me. Apparently 'everyone' plays call of duty, and grand theft auto and the like and I am making everyone hate him and think he's a loser. hmm

I'm afraid I tell him that I don't give a rat's doodah WHAT other parents allow. He gets those sorts of games when he has a job of his own to pay for them and a house of his own to play them in!

It's easier to give in to them, but it's better to not.

You're doing the right thing.

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