Unfortunately the system is stretched and they have to choose a way to do things which works for most children - there simply isn't one way which can accommodate absolutely every child out there. I definitely think it helps if you go in armed with ideas for a solution (which I appreciate isn't always possible until you know what you're dealing with) as schools are generally working at full capacity and just don't have the spare resources to devote to one child's needs.
It's very frustrating from a teacher's point of view too. Without disclosing too much, I have a pupil who has severe language issues and is at least 3 years behind age related expectations.
I keep on nagging the SENCO and Head to get extra support, but since September it's been left to me to deal with him, with my one TA who is just not capable of meeting the needs.
It's really frustrating, especially as the school will only bother once the child 'fails' this year, which is inevitable. The child is making some progress, but the needs are so specific that I just cannot support in class. Sigh.
There is no give in the system at all. Not enough money, not enough people and not enough time! Kids who do not fit the academic criteria are most likely to be chuck onto the awkward pile - might be sen, behavioural, language or emotional. The sen depts can only plug gaps and there is no flexibility to provide tailor made solutions that would really work.