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to think the world does not need 'gender reveal parties'?

(282 Posts)
dreamingbohemian Thu 04-Apr-13 09:21:45

My cousin, clearly the first woman in the world to ever give birth wink, has just had something called a gender reveal party.

They went for the scan, then had friends and family around, ramped up the suspense for a couple hours, then she opened a big box of balloons that were.... pink! It's a girl! Awwww.

AIBU to think this is the wankiest thing ever? Or am I a joyless hag?

My family think it's cute so I need you nest of vipers lot to restore my faith in humanity.

JamieandtheMagicTorch Thu 04-Apr-13 10:31:59

I hate parties, especially ones that are a big old excuse for attention-seeking/ present so can't really get into the whole " any excuse for a party" argument.

I may be a miserable sod though

JamieandtheMagicTorch Thu 04-Apr-13 10:33:14



EuroShaggleton Thu 04-Apr-13 10:40:12

I don't get why parents to be think that anyone other than very close family is going to care deeply about the sex of their baby. We had some friends who found out but refused to tell anyone. I really don't get that. Having a party about it is completely ridiculous.

LokiTheCynicalCat Thu 04-Apr-13 10:40:36

Definitely a miserable sod Jamie wink it's nice to have an excuse for a get-together with friends, especially when you don't drink anymore and suddenly start to prefer an early bed-time... Might as well have them round for cake on a pretext they wouldn't be churlish enough to refuse! (You don't want to celebrate the imminent arrival of a tiny baby to two good friends? YOU MONSTER!) grin

But I'm with you all on the presents/baby shower thing. Grabby. Ugh. Anyone who asked me if they should bring a present was met with "don't you fucking dare...!"

browneyesblue Thu 04-Apr-13 10:44:07

I had a free 3D scan as part of a training session - not an anomaly scan, although I'm not sure it makes much difference.

They offered to tell me the sex, but DH wasn't with me (he was home looking after DS who was sick) and I really wanted us to find out together.

The doctor wrote the sex on one of the scan pictures and sealed it in an envelope. On my way home, I stopped at a party shop and for the grand price of £3.50 they checked the envelope, inflated the appropriate colour balloon, and put it in a box without me seeing.

DH did not know I had found out the sex, although I knew he wanted to know. The next day was Mother's Day, and we let DS open the box. It was a lovely present to myself, I got to share the moment with DH, and DS had fun with the balloon.

The 3 of us enjoyed it, so <raspberries> to the killjoys grin

LittleMissSnowShine Thu 04-Apr-13 10:45:51

YANBU lol I def wouldn't do one of these! First of all, imagine the pressure of going for your scan, where presumably you're also finding out if everything with the baby is ok, knowing you have family and friends all gathered round in your house waiting to see pink or blue balloons. Maybe I'm just a bit joyless cos I've had 2 mcs and I had a lot of bleeding at the start of my current pg (tho touch wood everything seems to be fine now) so I can't imagine anything worse / naff / more twee than a gender reveal party. A healthy baby is what matters and I thought the 'gender reveal' was supposed to be the phonecall you make to all family / good friends after the baby arrives?

LittleMissSnowShine Thu 04-Apr-13 10:48:04

PS) browneyesblue - that is so elaborate but a very lovely way for you, DH and DS to all find out together grin I don't have a problem with anyone celebrating finding out their baby's sex or anything, I just don't get why anyone would throw a big cheesy party and insist on presents!

Bunbaker Thu 04-Apr-13 10:49:08

" It is not gender you find out at the scan. It is the sex"

What's the difference?

slightlysoupstained Thu 04-Apr-13 10:51:56

I was expecting the thread to be about grownup gender reveal. There I was thinking "well, I guess if you're quite the extrovert type then maybe just throwing a big party so you can tell everyone in one go and get all the questions over with might make sense..."

In two minds about parties for foetuses. On the one hand, parties are nice and expectant first-time parents get to be all excited with friends and family around. On the other hand, they seem potentially a bit tacky, sex isn't the most important thing about the baby, and I'd hate it to become an expected thing. What if you found out something terrible at the 20 week scan and you'd already organised a big party?

Mind you, I was enough of a worrier that I didn't tell anyone beyond a small group that I was expecting until after the 20 week scan. I was wearing somewhat baggier clothes by then but had been eating enough pies that nobody guessed. grin

expatinscotland Thu 04-Apr-13 10:52:18

YANBU. I can't think of anything stupider.

SpecialAgentTattooedQueen Thu 04-Apr-13 10:52:47

*Trills Thu 04-Apr-13 09:37:01
YANBU - the world does not need them.

I'd like to say ah, let them have their fun if they enjoy that sort of thing but actually I disagree with the idea that someone's sex/gender is as important as this kind of thing makes it out to be.*

^ This. I can't quite put my finger on why, but something about it makes me ^deeply uncomfortable. I'm thinking it's probably the gender stereotyping but... I don't know.

On a lighter note I'd be grumpy if I had to fork out for a baby shower pressie, a congratulations you've had pre-mentioned baby pressie, as well as two gender specific (eww) pressies for a gender reveal party.

But like I said it's not the embarrassingly tackiness of it, it's the stereotyping.

We have enough problems overseas with baby girls not even being wanted, imagine if this caught on in China? A 'we're so sorry it's not a boy' gift if it's a girl? O_O

JamieandtheMagicTorch Thu 04-Apr-13 10:53:05


Imam not a total griouch. That is a lovely story.

SuburbanRhonda Thu 04-Apr-13 10:57:26

Hmmm, don't think they'd get as many attendees if they called it a "sex-reveal" party. Or maybe it would attract the wrong ones!

EasilyBored Thu 04-Apr-13 10:57:30

Sex is biological. Gender is a social construct. Gender is a spectrum (I think that's the best way of putting it?).

This is an article on the WHO and this is good old wikipedia

EasilyBored Thu 04-Apr-13 11:01:07

Special I think that's what bothers me the most too? There's something about celebrating preconceived notions of what your child will be like, based on their sex, that makes me uncomfortable.

Plus, I just think it's all too much. Babies are great, lovely. Have one. Have a whole bunch. I'm happy for you. But why why why is there such a big song and dance and a million organised events generally showmanship about it now. Photoshoots every day throughout the pregnancy, pregnancy/sex reveal parties and photoshoots, baby showers and photoshoots in hospital etc. It's just too much for me.

MimsyBorogroves Thu 04-Apr-13 11:01:18

Nah, I find it wanky and self-obsessed. But then again, I don't see the need for baby showers and engagement parties and suchlike either.

FormerlyKnownAsPrincessChick Thu 04-Apr-13 11:02:03

Naff, naff, naff...^in my humble cynical opinion^ but each to their own and if makes you happy.... I guess it's only cake and balloons at the end of the day. I just don't go in for all this pre-birth party stuff. And I know people who painted the nursery blue, bought all blue clothes, train sets etc etc etc and ended up team pink (and then I thought to myself that I like the colour blue and nagged for a train set and scalectrix and a barbie house and a tea set). Why are we so hung up on sodding colours for babies? confused

I liked the yellow balloon suggestion grin

On a separate note, I thought this thread was about an old, old client I spoke to who asked me if he should tick M or F on an application form yesterday.... ponders whether it's rude to ask a 75 year old to look in their pants for answer

SamuelWestsMistress Thu 04-Apr-13 11:02:24

Oh god that is so dickish!

belfastbigmillie Thu 04-Apr-13 11:12:06

I was told it was a girl and got a boy (was very happy as I'd secretly wanted a son) but as he was the first grandchild, my MIL had gone overboard buying frilly dresses etc (horrible ones) which I couldn't even flog on Ebay afterwards! DS ended up in pink babygros and cheapo stuff and all the expensive pink designer outfits ended up in the charity shop.

chocoluvva Thu 04-Apr-13 11:12:42

dreaming - you are not a joyless old hag. In fact you have restored my faith in humanity - so you are bringing joy to a fellow MNetter!

Graduation ceremonies for 4YO's, prom parties for primary-school leavers, limos to take school-leavers to their prom; ridiculous annoying NONSENSE.

What's next? Conception parties?

Arabesque Thu 04-Apr-13 11:19:05

YABU. We are inviting all our relatives around next week to tell them where we're going on holidays. We're going to have a cake and when we cut into it the flag of the country we're visiting will be revealed. We are not expecting any presents AT ALL, but I have told my mum that if anyone asks I would like flip flops, sarongs or American dollars.

Pancakeflipper Thu 04-Apr-13 11:24:32

Arabesque - I am having a really crap morning but that's made me giggle.

I am off to make a cake now to inform all our relatives what make of car we have just bought and collecting next week. I will instruct them that only tasteful car airfreshners are welcome and car mats for our gifts.

Letitsnow9 Thu 04-Apr-13 11:24:37

I think it's quite sweet, much much better than baby showers. I wouldn't have one myself and find the ones where the parents don't know until cutting the cake (the person doing the scan writes if its a boy or girl, puts it into the envelope which is handed to the cake maker), silly but I did get all misty eyed at a mum and dad cutting a 2 tier cake (they were having twins), the first layer was pink and then the second was cut to show blue, they were so happy and over the moon

feckless1 Thu 04-Apr-13 11:31:35

No, YANBU, and being a joyless hag is a tragically underated occupation. They really should call it a SEX REVEAL PARTY as it sounds like a lot more fun, but I'd imagine that the type of people who think that this pile of self-absorbed wank is a good idea struggle to say the word 'sex' out loud.

M0naLisa Thu 04-Apr-13 11:32:38

There was a woman on the post natal ward with me, She had 3 scans too never 20 weeks scan and 2 extra scans a sexing scan private at 16 weeks and a 4D scan at 28 weeks all revealing to be a girl n

Out popped a boy!!!

She had pink clothes pink pram pink Moses basket pink car seat everything was pink.
He was wearing pink baby grows. Her friends and family rallied round to get blue for her. She said the nursery at home was pink!!!
And they didn't have a name as the only named picked was for a girl.

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