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If I do this would I BU? Copied from a chat post of mine

(8 Posts)
Freddiemisagreatshag Thu 04-Apr-13 08:45:02

Well? Would I?

Am I interfering by doing this?

ex is due to have kids this weekend. Swap is 10.30 normally on holidays. So he should be picking up or I should be dropping off at 10.30 tomorrow. But he asked me yesterday to keep them until after tea as he has to work (and of course it's different for me I just work from home I can plan my time and its just so easy for me blah blah). I can keep them, that's not a problem, the issue is

DD is at friends for a sleepover. So when we were up at his she said "I don't know yet when I need picked up. I'll text X and ask her"

And he said no. Tell her mum and dad that I will be down there after tea to collect you.

I think this is rude. They are having her for a sleepover, they don't want her there until 7 or 8 pm!!! So I just told her to tell them I'd get her whenever suited them.

Am I interfering?

phantomnamechanger Thu 04-Apr-13 08:50:38

So after the sleepover he expects DDs friends parents to keep her there all day and feed her, till after he finishes work??

Mad - they may have all sorts of other plans or just not want somoene elses child all day - sleepover pick up is usually 10-11 the next day, so as you have agreed with him you wont hand over till after he's done at work, then yes, you should pick up when the parents want you too. so YANBU but HIBU (and rude)

Freddiemisagreatshag Thu 04-Apr-13 08:52:44

Yip. He wants them to keep her until it suits him. He says I'm interfering and there is no need for me to be involved.

I told him I will collect her. Keep her here. It's one pick up for him.

He made me feel 2inches tall. And totally like I was UR

phantomnamechanger Thu 04-Apr-13 09:00:12

but if she wasn't at the sleepover he would be expecting you to have her all day, to convenience him, even though it's his day? and basicaly instead of picking up from yours he should be picking up from the friends - but you are happy to as he's at work - so you are going out of your way to accommodate him - how does he think dumping DD on someone else is a better idea? sounds like he would rather be beholden to strangers who think him rude than owe YOU a favour?

odd man!

unless the friends parents are good pals or relatives of your ex, he's just daft. It would be so rude just to tell the kid basically to say to the host parents "dad will pick me up when he feel like it" - if I was them I would not be impressed - and on a serious note - this might ruin your DDs chance of a re-invite as she will be branded the one with the really rude father!

Freddiemisagreatshag Thu 04-Apr-13 09:03:53

They're friends of mine. They know what he's like. I can't see how it is any of his business if he wants me to have them til tea time then surely I can go and get her and wtf is it to him?

I do not understand how his mind works. And if someone could explain it is be very grateful.

phantomnamechanger Thu 04-Apr-13 09:16:32

you dropped her off for the sleepover? and YOU have parental responsibility till the agreeed handover to him time, so it's simple - you can't dump her on the friends and expect them to keep her till ex shows up.

so you collect her and have her till he can

he must be very dense if he cant see what needs to happen today. Either that or its actually about denying you time with DD, in which case he's being deliberatley spiteful and using DD as a pawn

either way he's being an arse, but you knew that!

quesadilla Thu 04-Apr-13 09:46:19

He is being totally unreasonable. Tell him you will collect her in the afternoon and that's an end to it. If he can't stick to the agreement about weekend access he isn't in a position to call the shots about what happens to her during the day.

Freddiemisagreatshag Thu 04-Apr-13 12:17:57

He says I should drop her off for the sleepover but since he's "responsible parent" on Friday then it's up to him when to pick her up.

I did point out that since she was sleeping over at a friends, it was up to them when they wanted her to be collected but he doesn't get it.

The world revolves around him and his wants and everyone should realise their inferior status.

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