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To think that "friends" shouldn't do this

(9 Posts)
frogspoon Wed 03-Apr-13 23:47:24

Passing on unkind comments about their "friends".

I have recently found out that someone I considered to be a friend was speaking to his friend (an acquaintance of mine who I have met twice) and discussing me, not in a nice way. He then repeated this conversation with other friends, and it eventually got back third hand to me months later.

Am I unreasonable to expect someone who I would call a friend to not then keep spreading these rumours, but to either say nothing, or speak to me directly and ask me what happened, and check I was ok.

I couldn't really care less about the original guy who was spreading these rumours, as I have said he is an acquaintance not a friend, but I am disappointed in the guy I considered to be a friend.

AlfalfaMum Thu 04-Apr-13 01:46:27

YANBU

You need to tell him he's been a crap friend and get an apology. Or alternatively you might want to terminate the friendship altogether.
Not nice being talked about like that, hope you're ok x

SirBoobAlot Thu 04-Apr-13 01:51:44

No, you're not being unreasonable. All sounds very playground.

Hope you're okay, it's not a nice position to be in.

anonymosity Thu 04-Apr-13 06:33:32

YANBU you're dealing with a bitchy gossip. Better to know now than later and steer clear.

MrsCampbellBlack Thu 04-Apr-13 06:39:35

YANBU

I don't think it does anyone any favours to repeat nasty gossip to the person whom the gossip is about. Better to just point out to the mean person that they're talking a load of crap and leave it at that.

I am always very hmm at well meaning people who tell you when someone has said something horrid about you.

MrsMangoBiscuit Thu 04-Apr-13 06:57:46

I would be pissed off disappointed too. But I also don't know what to think about the friends who have been feeding this back to you. In their shoes, when the conversation was repeated to me, I would have called them on it there and then. Mind you, I would also want to know if someone was stabbing me in the back, so it's tricky. confused

MammaTJ Thu 04-Apr-13 08:25:28

YANBU. I had a couple who were 'friends' like this. I found out afterwards that not only had they been talking about me behind my back but they had been the people who had reported me to SS and the RSPCA.

pigletmania Thu 04-Apr-13 10:02:18

He would no longer be my friend

frogspoon Thu 04-Apr-13 12:55:36

Apparently the reason this friend told another friend was because they were "worried" about me. The other friend only decided to tell me the other day, however this conversation was several months ago, so I don't really feel I can bring it up now with the other friend.

As several of you have said, a real friend would have pointed out to the other person that he was talking crap. I think I am just going to distance myself as clearly he is not a friend as I thought he was.

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