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to think i shouldn't have to contend with a permanent fug of shit

(37 Posts)
darkesteveningoftheyear Wed 03-Apr-13 23:33:27

whenever I am with this friend? She farts ALL the time and the stench is horrendous. She does apologise but it's getting so I don't want to be around her because the smell is awful. Yesterday we were on a train and all I could smell was mix of rotten egg, shit and some other rotting foul odour and people on the train were coughing and spluttering (I kid you not.) She didn't even look embarrassed and said it wasn't her but I know it was.

She is a lovely person, everyone says so but the farting makes me feel sick.

HoHoHoNoYouDont Wed 03-Apr-13 23:34:47

Does she have a medical condition?

darkesteveningoftheyear Wed 03-Apr-13 23:35:24

not that I know of

BlissfullyIgnorant Wed 03-Apr-13 23:38:25

Is she vegetarian? Vegan? Sometimes a veggie diet can cause wind. Tell her to get some Windcheaters. Don't know if they work but it has to be worth a try

HoHoHoNoYouDont Wed 03-Apr-13 23:44:14

She may be eating a particular food that doesn't agree with her. I'm best avoiding onions. I should bottle my gas and drop it on North Korea, that would shut them up. Judging from another thread today Jerusalem Artichokes have a similar effect grin

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Wed 03-Apr-13 23:49:20

Yanbu. I hate this and don't honestly know how people laugh about it. The smell of this is just sickening.

I think you should tell her that's she needs to reasses her diet or see the GP.

PelvicFloorClenchReminder Wed 03-Apr-13 23:50:37

You know those air fresheners that pooooof a squirt of lovely smell when you walk past - they should make a version of those to dangle over one's bee-hind when one is feeling gusty.

<parp>
<poof>

Ahhh, roses and freesias. Sorted.

darkesteveningoftheyear Wed 03-Apr-13 23:51:49

What would she be eating? I have spent weekends with her and she doesn't eat anything massively out of the ordinary, she isn't veggie but I am, I don't fart though! She rarely/never burps she says. But honestly the farts are awful. I don't think she finds them funny but they are constant, silent but OMG chokingly smelly.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Wed 03-Apr-13 23:54:22

My DH is the same OP....he is the same no matter WHAT he eats.

I think he's got some food sensitivities to be honest...not allergies as such but I do think he's borderline.

Mention that to your stinky friend?

YoullNeedATray Wed 03-Apr-13 23:54:51

Has she heard of Shreddies? Not a joke!

PelvicFloorClenchReminder Wed 03-Apr-13 23:54:59

Maybe she has IBS?

trashcanjunkie Wed 03-Apr-13 23:55:42

I had the worst farts ever last night. Dp got quite cross in the end, but he's had it coming for a while due to his rotten arse at times. We have both been eating the wrong foods for our guts over easter - and the results are dreadful. My list of no go foods is large so sometimes I throw caution to the wind (pardon the pun) wheat products are among the worst for me, but then so are brassicas, legumes, peppers and onions. Leeks are quite appalling too. Most of the time I do not subject the rest of the world to my arse contents, but now and again I just fancy some toast!

The difference here sounds like your mate is ignorant or in denial about the foods causing her farting. And I'd put money on it being the food by the way!

HoppinMad Thu 04-Apr-13 00:02:12

I can get bit windy if I eat late/too quick hence not chewing properly/too fequent takeouts blush the silent but violent types. It must b something her digestive system doesn't agree with. Do you have other mutual friends who have recognised her problem, perhaps if someone else mentioned it to her too? She needs to see her GP maybe he/she could help her.

darkesteveningoftheyear Thu 04-Apr-13 00:06:31

How would she go about establishing which foods it was? I spent 2 days with her and she ate:

a special k bar, 2 tangerines, banana for breakfast

salmon sandwich (granary bread) for lunch, apple and a fizzy elderflower cordial drink.

nandos for dinner, she had a chicken wrap with sweetcorn, diet coke to drink.

small glass of wine?

Mspontipine Thu 04-Apr-13 00:16:26

Has she recently given up smoking? My wind was absolutely awful for months when I gave up blush

darkesteveningoftheyear Thu 04-Apr-13 00:19:13

no she's never smoked?

complexnumber Thu 04-Apr-13 00:20:06

Now some food stuffs are converted in to conversation clamp-downs quicker than overs.

I'd keep an eye out for known patterns rather than stuffing your nose next to her arse on a frequent occassion. Unless you all happen to be playing 'dogs' and woofing in an out door environment...
(and have a licence)

trashcanjunkie Thu 04-Apr-13 00:30:17

well the granary bread followed by the wrap would have me farting for britain, and they would really fucking stink. Wraps are particularly lethal, I don't know if it's because they can be a bit gungy. Gungy bread products need avoiding at all costs. Were there onions or other suspect veg in the wrap too?

trashcanjunkie Thu 04-Apr-13 00:33:49

and fizzy drinks won't help the situation either! Goodness, I didn't realise how this would sound written down. I've developed my diet over the last few years to avoid bloating and wind. I mainly eat porridge with berries, meat, eggs, fish and leafy veg and dairy. How boring! oh, and tea. cups of tea, fresh fruit juice and water. If I deviate too much the results are felt by everyone.

Toadinthehole Thu 04-Apr-13 00:47:11

Perhaps she's apologizing for the sake of politeness only and doesn't actually mind the smell.

Someone should tell her that she's being antisocial - and that person is you.

SquinkiesRule Thu 04-Apr-13 02:20:09

Granary bread and a fizzy drink would have me sitting alone grin I eat healthy but if I don't take gas pills and eat live culture yoghurt, I am even more toxic.
The more I exercise and better I eat the worse it seems to get.
I tend to leave the room and go on a quick fart walk.
Dh followed me a couple times talking, wouldn't listen to me when I said "stay there" serves him right. His are toxic at night.
Dd doesn't listen either, I tell her move, walk forward in empty shop isles, and she looks at me all bewildered. I call it crop dusting.
She shouldn't find it funny though I'd be mortified if I stunk out the train. She needs to know it's not acceptable, I know it isn't for me either. She has to try some different fixes and see if they can help.

lottiegarbanzo Thu 04-Apr-13 02:59:04

Does sound like you have to mention it. Good use of the word fug btw, haven't seen that in a long time!

EhricLovesTeamQhuay Thu 04-Apr-13 08:48:02

Gross. I don't fart around other people - am I unusual? If I need to fart I go away from people or I hold it. I don't understand people who don't.

Freddiemisagreatshag Thu 04-Apr-13 08:49:55

My ex was like this. He stank. Farted all the time. Wouldn't go to the GP and wouldn't do anything about it. He was proud of them.

Gross.

HavingALittleFaithBaby Thu 04-Apr-13 09:21:48

My wind used to be vile - I got an IBS diagnosis, did a food diary and established it was wheat aggravating my symptoms. Cut out wheat, radically reduced my symptoms. I also have a daily probiotic which really helps! Seriously, she should see her GP if its that much of a problem.

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