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to never to attend a social event where the woman with the Fecal Finger will be present.

(72 Posts)
DIYWidow Wed 03-Apr-13 17:06:20

The Fecal Finger of Fate has struck our family again.
Christmas was destroyed by a local lady with the shits who went to the pub and infected table - DH included and before fully recovered hosted a birthday party (got DD with her finger licking humous dipping ways).

I accepted a homemade chocolate brownie this weekend and six hours later felt the explosive power of her voodoo building in my colon.

Now we are not a 'delicate 'family but her ' it's good to be exposed to germs and stuff' attitude is destroying my holidays.

AIBU to avoid her purely on the grounds of health & hygiene?

Owllady Wed 03-Apr-13 17:39:46

is it Helen on the PTA? I know her as well
she left a cardi at ours the once and we all developed impetigo within days

Ledkr Wed 03-Apr-13 17:40:41

This is when I know my " food issues" are not a bad thing grin

Can I also introduce you to the PICK A MIX envy
Has to one of the vilest germ infested things ever <heaves>

CuppaTea83 Wed 03-Apr-13 17:42:52

Nooo Ledkr I love pick 'n mix. Don't make me face the reality. sad

BalloonSlayer Wed 03-Apr-13 17:44:14

I think I may know this woman. She is involved in a lot of social activities. You could say she has a finger in every pie.

memphis83 Wed 03-Apr-13 17:44:37

'explosive power of her voodoo building in my colon'
This made me spit my tea!

ImTooHecsyForYourParty Wed 03-Apr-13 17:47:31


ImTooHecsyForYourParty Wed 03-Apr-13 17:48:10

Good. God.

lolaflores Wed 03-Apr-13 17:49:11

I am seeing Nosferatu in my mind, with drippy icky fingers of poop. Offer a hand gel next time and perhaps one of those face mask surgery things.
That is foul.
I have a friend who is also a "wonder" in the kitchen. THe kitchen is filthy. No words can describe the crusty layers of cack that steadily build on it. Then the bathroom defies description, just awful. she is always cooking stuff and bringing it round for shares and I just want to vom on it. I nibble kindly then say I am stuffed. They constantly have D&V round theirs. I try not to look at her hands.

MardyBra Wed 03-Apr-13 17:50:00


Pandemoniaa Wed 03-Apr-13 17:50:22

You could say she has a finger in every pie.

No Shit, Sherlock!

lolaflores Wed 03-Apr-13 17:51:55

Mardy that is the stuff of is looking at me. oh dear.

Maat Wed 03-Apr-13 17:51:58

How bored do you have to be before you make a chocolate mould of your finger? confused

StealthPolarBear Wed 03-Apr-13 17:52:17

Am I ths only one who didn't think that was a finger?
I demand to know what is going on. I really want ti get to the bottom of it

lolaflores Wed 03-Apr-13 17:54:13

It did look like a willy for a moment but my eye started at the bottom and worked up...if that makes any sense. Well confused for a moment

MardyBra Wed 03-Apr-13 17:55:54

For some reason my last post made me think of Lionel Richie's head in the Hello video

QuintessentialShallots Wed 03-Apr-13 17:56:48

You have clearly not seen "The Help".
"Eat my shit" must have inspire Fecal Finger Woman

ImTooHecsyForYourParty Wed 03-Apr-13 17:58:40

what on earth did you think it was, Stealth?

StealthPolarBear Wed 03-Apr-13 18:02:03

What are you googling? No don't answer. Ib between this thread ans porn in the cock pot .TIIIM I am hysterical

DIYWidow Wed 03-Apr-13 18:03:14

My suffering has allowed you lot to alert me to some of the images that exist in the corners of the internet. Bleach for brain and bathroom now.

Her kitchen is a wonder, D&V seemingly an inevitable part of life. When I expressed shock at her catering a kids party whilst still 'suffering' she faced me down with a 'can't stop, what would the world come to if....' I think that my world would be healthier.

It was n't even a nice cake, bit dry, clearly not Nigella's 20quid recipe list.

StealthPolarBear Wed 03-Apr-13 18:05:21

Is there a previous thread?
And how do you know she suffers from.ff? Are you basing it on ensuing sickess or does she swagger in and yell "SMELL MA FINGER!" waggling it under your nose?

ComposHat Wed 03-Apr-13 18:06:26

I bet she doesn't enjoy baking very much and she's only going through the motions.

AgentZigzag Wed 03-Apr-13 18:07:33

You're not...The Poo Troll are you DIY? shock

Perhaps you are but didn't know it?

ImTooHecsyForYourParty Wed 03-Apr-13 18:07:43

Maybe you can see it, Stealth...

StealthPolarBear Wed 03-Apr-13 18:07:56

She maybe has a little stool which she pulls out when baking

ImTooHecsyForYourParty Wed 03-Apr-13 18:11:11

No, compo. No poo puns. They make me all hot under the cholera.

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