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to never to attend a social event where the woman with the Fecal Finger will be present.

(72 Posts)
DIYWidow Wed 03-Apr-13 17:06:20

The Fecal Finger of Fate has struck our family again.
Christmas was destroyed by a local lady with the shits who went to the pub and infected table - DH included and before fully recovered hosted a birthday party (got DD with her finger licking humous dipping ways).

I accepted a homemade chocolate brownie this weekend and six hours later felt the explosive power of her voodoo building in my colon.

Now we are not a 'delicate 'family but her ' it's good to be exposed to germs and stuff' attitude is destroying my holidays.

AIBU to avoid her purely on the grounds of health & hygiene?

Pandemoniaa Wed 03-Apr-13 17:09:38

<arf @ Fecal Finger of Fate>

May attempt sensible response when cleaned spat out tea off keyboard.

sherazade Wed 03-Apr-13 17:10:48

you accepted a brownie? how could you?

AgentZigzag Wed 03-Apr-13 17:10:53

Who is this Fecal Fingered woman? <ewww>

And why did you accept anything made by her fair Fecal Fingered Hands after the pubs Table Of Doom?

Are you sure it's her though? These things get about don't they?

anklebitersmum Wed 03-Apr-13 17:12:40

are you utterly convinced it was germs and not an ex-lax brownie confused

Toasttoppers Wed 03-Apr-13 17:13:30

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SPsFanjoTheBigStickyHaribo Wed 03-Apr-13 17:14:03

Fecal finger grin

Coconutty Wed 03-Apr-13 17:14:30

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AgentZigzag Wed 03-Apr-13 17:15:59

I would have accepted it and given it to the Bin Monster.

DIYWidow Wed 03-Apr-13 17:19:47

Coconutty - I was n't thinking - Easter, chocolate, elevenses, Christmas an eon ago.

She prides herself on her culinary skills, she'll be there at bbqs 'helping in the kitchen', school cake bakes, a helpful pair of hands at a big Sunday lunch.

midastouch Wed 03-Apr-13 17:20:49

Well to be honest I'd have steered clear after the first instance! But then I don't eat food that other people have touched or possibly breathed on, yuck

StealthPolarBear Wed 03-Apr-13 17:25:31

Have I missed a thread?

AgentZigzag Wed 03-Apr-13 17:26:19

If you have, so have I SPB.

AnyFucker Wed 03-Apr-13 17:27:52

whaaaaaat ?


Maat Wed 03-Apr-13 17:30:10

Can you not install some type of sheep dip that she is made to swim through at the doorway of such events?

MardyBra Wed 03-Apr-13 17:31:32

you need this sign

StealthPolarBear Wed 03-Apr-13 17:32:29

Please can someone explain the back (passage) story?

Pandemoniaa Wed 03-Apr-13 17:33:04

But then I don't eat food that other people have touched or possibly breathed on, yuck

Do you live on air? Only all food has been touched and breathed upon at some stage.

ImTooHecsyForYourParty Wed 03-Apr-13 17:34:10

When you say brownie...

StealthPolarBear Wed 03-Apr-13 17:35:04

Is she some sort of superhero? Is the fecal finger her weapon of choice?

MardyBra Wed 03-Apr-13 17:35:27

grin at Hecsy.

thornrose Wed 03-Apr-13 17:36:50


Pandemoniaa Wed 03-Apr-13 17:36:59

I'd definitely avoid her chocolate mousse.

AgentZigzag Wed 03-Apr-13 17:37:09

Please let this be chocolate.

CuppaTea83 Wed 03-Apr-13 17:39:13

Utterly pissing myself at the thought of Fecal Finger woman ruining your life.
Sorry blush

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