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To start a pension when DH doesn't agree?

(58 Posts)
nightowlmostly Wed 03-Apr-13 15:57:11

I'm having a dilemma! I am the main earner in our family, my DH is part time and looks after our son. We share our money and have for years, and there's never any problem with that. Neither of us takes the piss, any big purchases get agreed in advance etc.

The trouble is, I'd like to start a pension with my work and he doesn't agree. He feels we should focus on paying off the mortgage and investing in another property. I agree but think we should do both. I'd be receiving about £2K a year from my employer into the pension fund.

We've talked about it loads, and always ended up not doing it as he's convinced me! But now I want to do it, we've done it his way for ten years and I'd feel much better knowing I was saving. He did agree to it but I think he didn't think I'd actually ever get round to it. We talked about it again and he was quite anti.

My AIBU is, would I be out of order to use family money to start a pension fund when he isn't in agreement? It'd be about £150 a month which we could manage without at the moment. He's in no way controlling or anything sinister, it's purely a difference of opinion on the best way to provide for our old age. He doesn't trust the system, which I do understand, but I'd be prepared to take the risk. Help, thanks!

LynetteScavo Wed 03-Apr-13 16:01:36

So would you be paying off the mortgage any more slowly than you are doing? Would you actually invest in another property?

I don't think YABU . But what ever you do, do something.

prettybird Wed 03-Apr-13 16:02:10

To me, it's a no-brainer. Not only are you getting the employer contributions but your own contributions are tax free.

Anything you save towards another property and/or reducing your current mortgage come from your after-tax earnings.

So unless he can suggest a savings veicle that equates to earning c.20-40% (depending on how much tax you are paying), plus of course your employer contributions..... hmm

Numberlock Wed 03-Apr-13 16:02:30

So you put in £1800 a year and your employer puts in £2000? I think you'd be mad not to join. Are you planning to stay with this company for the foreseeable future?

MrsTerryPratchett Wed 03-Apr-13 16:02:51

Spread your risk. 150 a month into the pension, 150 a month into the mortgage overpayment fund. If you can afford that.

ajandjjmum Wed 03-Apr-13 16:03:17

It would be a way of saving without having to pay tax, and if your employer is contributing that has to be good.

Having said that, we've all heard (some of us experienced!) pension disasters, so I can see why your DH would rather keep control

MaryRobinson Wed 03-Apr-13 16:03:29

You should start a pension. Wen you look at the numbers, not forgetting to add in your emplyer's contributions then it says to start a pension.

strongandlong Wed 03-Apr-13 16:05:24

Agree with prettybird. It's a no brainer. By not opting in to the pension, you're turning down additional salary - seems crazy!

SantanaLopez Wed 03-Apr-13 16:06:45

If you can afford it, I agree it's a no brainer.

Lueji Wed 03-Apr-13 16:07:37

TBH, I think it pays to have several eggs in different baskets.
Normal savings and pensions. Even life insurance.

And yes, your work is supposed to contribute too, so that's a plus.

At this time, the stockmarket is not particularly high, so you'd be buying stock at a low point. Hopefully, it will be higher when you retire.

UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea Wed 03-Apr-13 16:09:38

Absolute no brainer - pension all the way.

This is assuming you have some cash savings to cushion you should you have a crisis (lost job / illness) and life insurance.

There's a priority list of financial needs and pensions are pretty high up on that list.

Also property is an uncertain, unprotected, illiquid asset.

badguider Wed 03-Apr-13 16:09:38

Providing there's no danger of defaulting on your mortgage then absolutely you should take the pension. Then you have both property and pension by the time you retire.
I too am a bit distrustful of pension companies but still think you should take it because if the employer contribution and tax efficiency.
Before mat leave I split my 'spare' money in half between pension and ISA.

Willow36 Wed 03-Apr-13 16:30:21

Pension, pension, pension.

It astounds, and worries me, how many people don't have a pension.

Your DH should think of starting one too - speak to an IFA, they'll be able to suggest a decent private pension if your DHs employers don't have a scheme.

specialsubject Wed 03-Apr-13 16:40:36

private pension is a no-brainer - you have control over it.

you are likely to outlive him and need income. While you don't expect him to disappear for any other reason, it is basic common sense to provide for yourself.

you don't expect the channel ferry to sink, but you still expect it to have lifeboats.

Toasttoppers Wed 03-Apr-13 17:00:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nightowlmostly Wed 03-Apr-13 17:10:48

Thanks everyone, I do think its the right thing to do. I get why he's wary, he worries that if I go and die the money will disappear, is that right? Or that the economy will crash and it will disappear that way! I have a meeting with the pension guy from my work later so I'm going to sign up.

The only thing that made me unsure was the fact that it will come out of joint money.

Also he could get a pension with his work but he's only part time so will it be worth doing?

TheCraicDealer Wed 03-Apr-13 17:13:34

Here is an HSBC pension calculator, although there are others out there. Play around with some of the figures to get an idea of what you'll need to save to get even a modest private pension. It's scary.

But a modest pension might be wha tmakes you comfortable as opposed to struggling in your retirement. Don't listen to him, do it!

Lueji Wed 03-Apr-13 17:16:23

he worries that if I go and die the money will disappear, is that right?
No, as far as I know, you can nominate him a beneficiary.

McNewPants2013 Wed 03-Apr-13 17:19:04

I have been in a pension for 10 years, I am 27.

With all the government cuts ect I would say it is wise to start a pension

specialsubject Wed 03-Apr-13 17:30:40

your pension will go up and down with the stockmarket, which is why it is a long term investment. If you die before taking the benefits, something will come back depending on the scheme, and you can also set up a widower's pension. All this is done via an 'expression of wish' nominating that person - presumably your husband.

he should set up his own pension as well.

this should not be your only investment, of course.

ClaireDeTamble Wed 03-Apr-13 17:31:15

If you die, he should get a lump sum payout and then be entitled to a widowers pension.

Are you a public sector worker?

My Death in Service payout is currently about £70k with an ongoing pension of £175 a month for DH after only 8 years of paying in.

JamieandtheMagicTorch Wed 03-Apr-13 17:42:14

Have you drawn up a will?

If not, do that too.

OOAOML Wed 03-Apr-13 18:26:12

Surely both you and your husband will need to start pensions, have your employers discussed auto enrolment?

Awizardsstaffhasaknobontheend Wed 03-Apr-13 18:36:37

Sorry you may have already answered this but how old are you and you DH.

zwischenzug Wed 03-Apr-13 18:41:47

Your OH sounds like your typical "Gordon Brown robbed my pension" and "You can't go wrong with bricks and mortar" clown who has been brainwashed by Homes Under the Hammer. Yes people who got into property 10 or more years ago are now sitting pretty, but the idea is to invest money before a boom, not right after one finishes.

What are you going to do with a property in your 70s and 80s? Rent it out and have all the hassle of being a landlord?

Not to mention opting out of a money purchase pension is turning down free money.

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