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AIBU?

The Philpotts: to think this says a lot about the morality of this country?

153 replies

SlowlyWakingUp · 03/04/2013 00:44

Why was this 'getup' allowed to happen? Everyone knew about it, why was it normalised? It seems to have been all nudge, nudge, wink, wink, that's just 'Mick'. A man with 'needs'. Why were social services not involved? They were all over the TV long before the fire with him being aggressive and f'ing and blinding in front of the DCs on camera, dread to think what he like off camera. I bet he was an absolute bastard.

Why was he allowed to live with children after his earlier conviction for attempted murder and the domestic violence he perpetrated to his 2nd 'wifelet' who left before he got involved with Mairaid? Lisa Willis was their pregnant bridesmaid (with HIS baby) at their wedding. In the TV interview she said she did not 'like the wedding night' because she was 'ready to drop' that brings up all kinds of dreadful connotations. People must have known about this. Did they pat him on the back, turn a blind eye? Why did the neighbours not get involved? The school? Just the overcrowded, chaotic household would surely have been enough to ring alarm bells? When Lisa Willis left him a few months before the fire, she got a restraining order so she must have been alleged DV, why were the DCs left behind not checked up on?

I dread to think of the things they must have seen what with other men coming in to have sex with the 'mother', threesomes, booze and weed, the rocking caravan parked out front. I am sure they were aware of what was going on. How could anyone have thought this was 'OK'.

Why, why, why was this evil sexist pig of a 'man' allowed to carry on doing what he liked without being properly challenged (and I don't mean by JK or Anne Widdecombe)? It was a car crash waiting to happen and no one stepped in, just judged him for being a scumbag, the women for being stupid enough to accept it, without taking into account the most important factor, those poor DCs.

I KNOW ultimately the 3 who were found guilty today we were responsible but what about the responsibility of the community and the government agencies to say 'hey, you cannot bring children up in that environment'. Not just to turn a blind eye until an absolute tragedy like this happens. Sorry, it just sickens me that this went on and that similar scenarios are being played out everyday all over the UK.

OP posts:

Report

missingmumxox · 03/04/2013 01:37

no

Booyhoo · 03/04/2013 01:42

well i hadn't heard of him til his children died in the fire so it says fuck all about my morality. i didn't let this happen.

thornrose · 03/04/2013 01:51

Yanbu in some respects but its the morality of this one man you should be despairing off, not "this country".

thornrose · 03/04/2013 01:52

I meant Despairing of!

BrawToken · 03/04/2013 01:58

I agree with the OP. With all the costly social services, health services and educational institutions, someone should have thought about the protection of those poor kids, even if just regarding the overcrowding. They can't not have been known to SS.

MrsTerryPratchett · 03/04/2013 03:35

Let's slag off the SWs again. After all when I worked for SS I had a tiny case load, no paperwork, lots of time to plan and care manage, no challenging cases, any of which could have ended in disaster. I was also psychic so I knew which people were just a bit shit and which were future murderers. Oh, and I had lots of power.

Shit sorry. That was what I dreamed of.

sashh · 03/04/2013 03:44

someone should have thought about the protection of those poor kids, even if just regarding the overcrowding.

They probably did, and then they probably had to find emergency accommodation for someone with no roof over their head, visit 10 other families with similar needs / issues, go to court to deal with issues you and I can only imagine, complete a ton of paperwork and have about 6 hours left in the day to sleep/eat/shower/play with their own kids.

Kytti · 03/04/2013 04:05

Nobody is saying the SW's are shit. They are saying that society should have done something. FWIW OP, you're probably right in that someone should have taken more notice, but everyone's so worried about upsetting someone / recognising different 'family' setups and protecting criminals the DC's were left in this vulnerable position. And hell, didn't it make a great story?

SW's are overworked because the government don't care enough about those in need to adequately fund the service.

LadyWidmerpool · 03/04/2013 05:28

I agree with booyhoo.

You will find just as many examples of communities supporting each other and social workers, HCPs, teachers etc doing a great job for vulnerable people if you look for them so YABU to write off a whole country's morality. Easy, though, isn't it?

BoulevardOfBrokenSleep · 03/04/2013 08:00

If you have a quick look around the boards here, you can see just how easy women find it to protect their kids - and themselves - from the abusive bastards they left.

Violence against an adult doesn't stop you living with children. Or fathering more.

HoneyDragon · 03/04/2013 08:06

The best way to get society to act is to rant online rom your comfy armchair I find.

Fucking society Grr

Why not congratulate those that are fighting the fight and go join them?

Bingdweller · 03/04/2013 08:10

I think it says a lot about the morality of the Philpotts rather than the country as a whole TBH......

HollyBerryBush · 03/04/2013 08:13

One of the more shocking things to come out, the stuff the jury weren't allowed to hear, was that he served time for attempted murder in 1978. Stabbing his then girlfriend and her mother in a frenzy.

And yet, he was allowed to have access to children.

I'm sure someone will come a long and quote the Rehabilitation of Offenders Act at me.

The actual set up of wife & lover doesn't particularly 'shock' me - certainly it isn't culturally acceptable of 'us' however multiple partners in a domestic setting is practiced the world over. And that is partners of either sex, I was reading about a woman in Pakistan who is married to 5 brothers due to a shortage of women in that particular area. It's not just a patriarchal thing re men plus more than one wife.

infamouspoo · 03/04/2013 08:15

perhaps 'this country' should stop moaning about paying tax and pay some more so social services can be decently funded. And Sure Start Centres, and decent schools in shitty housing estates. If you think this will help.

AThingInYourLife · 03/04/2013 08:17

I think it certainly says something about the collective blind eye our society turns to domestic abuse.

Smudging · 03/04/2013 08:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

saintmerryweather · 03/04/2013 08:22

I think it says a lot about this fucked up family, not sure what it says about my morals tbh i wouldnt kill a child like they did. my morals are fine.

WishIdbeenatigermum · 03/04/2013 08:28

Rubbish. If there were Philpotts in every village it'd say something- the fact that the set up
Was so unusual that a tv show was made about them indicates they're not typical.

StuntGirl · 03/04/2013 08:33

I think it says a lot about his morality.

DuttyWine · 03/04/2013 08:35

So op what are you doing about this then, other than start this thread?

Wannabestepfordwife · 03/04/2013 08:42

I think it's more about his morality but the disgusting way the mail has reported the case says a lot about morality/ those journalists sh

Wannabestepfordwife · 03/04/2013 08:43

Posted too soon those journalists should hang their heads in shame! The poor surviving children to lose their siblings and then have them disrespected in such a manner

AThingInYourLife · 03/04/2013 08:44

"If there were Philpotts in every village it'd say something"

There are.

The man terrorising the family isn't always as ostentatious and publicity hungry as Mick Philpott.

But there are families up and down the country where appalling things are being done to women and children while people avert their gaze.

Or think the man is wonderful.

There are lessons to learn here about domestic abuse, and we should learn them.

pansyflimflam · 03/04/2013 08:46

I think the story says a lot about a personality disordered man. I really resent the fact that this tragedy caused by an individual is being politicised in this way to slag of people on benefits. How fucking fortunate that this nutters trial concluded in the very same week that the Government are benefit bashing..... six children died, they led miserable half lives and then they died horribly. Sadly their premature deaths are being used to fuel the Right Wing bollocks that those who are hard of thinking buy in to. Nothing to do with benefits and everything to do with a fucking mad man imposing his will on others.

AThingInYourLife · 03/04/2013 08:51

I don't see the benefits angle.

The only important thing about the benefits the family received is that the women were forced to give him all their money.

Financial abuse makes it extremely hard to leave.

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