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AIBU?

to think breastfeeding makes babies harder to look after?

130 replies

doingitagain2013 · 02/04/2013 21:36

I EBF my DD for 6 months, then combined this with solids till 10 months and at 10 months moved to formula. For the first 6 weeks DD fed up to 20 times in 24 hours. From 6 weeks until age 7 months she fed on average of about 12 times in 24 hours. I found it exhausting, she did not have a dummy either. She was a lovely happy baby but it was a constant round of feeding, changing and being sick (after some feeds) and lots of crying and sleepless nights. I was the first of my friends to have children. Two friends have since had babies. One bottle fed from the start and uses a dummy between feeds and has found mother hood a breeze and is always out and about and looking great. Her baby sleeps through the night. My DD has just started sleeping through (most) nights age 3. My second friend had her baby and breast fed for 3 weeks and said she felt like she had no life and just fed all the time and did not get much sleep. She then switched to bottles and dummies and said her baby is so much more peaceful now and sleeps through the night now at 5 months old and before that just had one bottle a night. When I visit he is happy sucking his dummy and never cries and her house is so clean and nice. I am pregnant with DD2 and want to breast feed again, hopefully for one year this time to save money on bottles and formula as well as for the health benefits I think my DD enjoyed. However I am jealous of my two friends who bottle feed and how organised their lives look. Are breast fed babies just harder to look after or am I doing something wrong??

OP posts:
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SantanaLopez · 02/04/2013 21:39

All babies are different, and there is no point comparing yours to someone else's. I really do think they come programmed and feeding has hardly any effect.

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PurpleBlossom · 02/04/2013 21:42

I don't think whether you breast or bottle feed has anything to do with it. It's just pot luck.

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SophiaTheFirst · 02/04/2013 21:43

Both mine were EBF, one was a dream baby sleep-wise, the other was a nightmare. One fed easily and the other had reflux and colic, they are different babies and I don't think you can compare if I'm honest.

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katiecubs · 02/04/2013 21:43

I think it's just differant babies tbh. DS1 was bottle fed and so far DS2 who is breastfed is much more chilled and apart from the first few weeks they both fed every 3 hrs.

No reason you can't have a dummy and breast feed too - just try it in the first few weeks.

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BonaDrag · 02/04/2013 21:43

No..

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maddening · 02/04/2013 21:44

I have a bf non sleeper too (was 2 in january) but it made life easier when he had a tummy bug (he has had 2 tummy bugs so far) as he couldn't keep down solids or water but he could keep down breastmilk so he never became dehydrated even though it was an awful virus - I got it and we were sick for days with it.

am sure that there are babies who are ff and don't sleep well and bf babies who sleep like a dream.

bf is hard in growth spurts etc but each has their pros and cons - it is what works for you :-)

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Beatrixpotty · 02/04/2013 21:45

They are harder to look after in that only the mum can feed them whereas anyone can give a baby a bottle.So if you exclusively breast feed,you have to do all the work.

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tvmum1976 · 02/04/2013 21:46

I definitely agree with you. I found breastfeeding a nightmare in many ways and life (and my baby) were infinitely easier when I switched to formula.

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Iggly · 02/04/2013 21:46

Your baby sounds like she was unsettled - not necessarily made worse by BF.
I know BF babies who slept through at 12 weeks, others who were such settled things. I know ff babies who were not.

So YABU.

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kinkyfuckery · 02/04/2013 21:46

All babies are different.

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smokinaces · 02/04/2013 21:47

Yabu. It's down to the child. My ds2 was ebf to 17w when we discovered lactose intollerance and mixed fed with alternatives. But he slept 8-4 from eight weeks. Would go one to two hours in the day. And tbh was a breeze to look after when I also had a toddler as all I needed to do for him was shove a boob in his mouth and change his nappy both of which I could juggle round ds1s needs. No bottles, no counting, no sterlising. And i confess ds2 also came in bed from four am with me to "help himself" from two months, and we often co slept naps too. Breastfeeding made my ds2 and easier baby!

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midori1999 · 02/04/2013 21:47

I found my BF baby (my last, although pregnant again) more difficult/time consuming in the early days/weeks/months, but I didn't use dummies with any of mine and I think that it was more due to my own state of mind than how I fed her as I was extremely anxious having lost our twin daughters when they were premature the year before.

I have friends who FF with toddlers that still wake most nights and friends with BF babies who are very laid back and chilled out and have slept good periods at night from a young age.

So I'd agree it's just down to the baby, not feeding method.

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NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 02/04/2013 21:47

breastfeeding is harder on your body I think in terms of you being the only thing they've got...nobody else can do it and your boobs hurt etc....but I have had two ff babies and one of them fed ALL THE TIME and she didn't sleep through until 3 either.

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OHforDUCKScake · 02/04/2013 21:47

No.

Both mine were breastfed, one was very very very hard work and the next was so blissfully easy I genuinely forgot he was even there a couple of times, and he'd go days and days without crying.

Feeding has nothing to do with it, some babies are easy, some arent, some are in the middle.

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noblegiraffe · 02/04/2013 21:48

My ebf 9 week old feeds every couple of hours or so, but only for five minutes. She never cries and sleeps lots. It's been really easy looking after her so far, and if she were ff it would be more work due to having to faff with sterilising.

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FatimaLovesBread · 02/04/2013 21:49

I think it depends on the baby.
My DD is nearly 19 weeks old and I felt like I was constantly feeding to start off with but then at 12 weeks something changed and she made her own routine. Now she goes a good 3-4 hours in the day and tends to wake once during the night (twice the last few nights).

Who's to say that your seconds friends DD wouldn't have been the same if she was still breastfed or your DD would have been different on the bottle

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YellowandGreenandRedandBlue · 02/04/2013 21:49

I'm a bit confused by her house is so nice and clean - is this relevant to feeding choices?

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startwig1982 · 02/04/2013 21:49

I ebf my DS and continued to bf until he was 20 mo. he has always been a good sleeper and wouldn't take a bottle so there was no other option! That being said, my Nct friends had varying degrees of time bf and their babies responded differently to mine and each other. All depends in the child!!

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midori1999 · 02/04/2013 21:49

Although it's simply not true that you 'have to do all the work' if you are BF. I sat on my arse eating cake for weeks, whilst DH and everyone else ran around after me. DH was living away with work at the time, but when he was there he literally did everything except feed, including holding DD for naps so I could nap easily myself.

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Scholes34 · 02/04/2013 21:49

Swings and roundabouts.

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CloudsAndTrees · 02/04/2013 21:49

Yabu.

Your experiences differ from that of your friends because you are different people who gave birth to different babies. It has nothing to do with your method of feeding.

I fed roughly the same as you at the various stages, and I found bfing relatively easy and very convenient.

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shellshock7 · 02/04/2013 21:50

I BF for 3m then switched to FF and it was easier....BF took up to and hour and 15 mins each time and a bottle was done in ten for a start! DS slept well at that point tho so it didn't effect that...he also had a dummy from abt 8 days is there a reason you wouldn't BF and use a dummy if they appeal to you?

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EnglishGirlApproximately · 02/04/2013 21:51

Well I bottle fed and Ds has just started sleeping through at the age of one and has never been an easy baby. Hand on heart there were many times I wished I could bf - warming bottles in the middle of the night, endless sterilising, parting with £50 a month on formula.

Its easy to think the grass is greener but all babies are different and not all parents will admit that things aren't perfect. The reality of your friends lives could be very different to what they say to you.

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Sparklingbrook · 02/04/2013 21:52

I did find BF DS1 whilst surveying the wreckage of the living room/looking at the dust and the bits on the carpet a bit of a downer.

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Alligatorpie · 02/04/2013 21:52

I breast fed both of mine. dd2 is a way easier baby; she likes people, takes long naps in the daytime, and eats everything you put in front of her. At 9 months, she wakes up once or twice in the night to nurse. When dd1 was 18 months she was waking 8-9 times a night and finally slept through the night at age 4.

Some babies are just easier. Lots of ff babies don't sleep either.

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