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Was my partner unreasonable? Or am I just an annoying backseat driver?

(108 Posts)
SongoftheSiren Mon 01-Apr-13 22:51:10

My partner drove me and a friend out for dinner (so we would be able to have a glass of wine with dinner)

We were driving on a long stretch of road where there are fairly recent (less than a year) speed cameras.

I could see that he was driving at 56 and the limit is 50. So I quickly said slow down because there are speed cameras. He snapped back that yes he knew, I then said the speed is 50 and he again snapped back with - yes I know and that's just the average speed anyway so stop being an annoying backseat driver.

There was an awkward silence. Think my friend felt uncomfortable.

I tend not to ever comment if someone else is driving as it can be annoying, but felt I should say something as I wouldn't want him to get points or a fine.

KansasCityOctopus Tue 02-Apr-13 21:42:01

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SirChenjin Tue 02-Apr-13 21:35:57

Oh don't take him seriously LadyV - it's the Easter holidays, and the children deserve a bit of fun with Youtube grin

LadyVoldemort Tue 02-Apr-13 21:32:29

Why are you being such a dick WMittens?

Just drive at the speed limit FGS, why risk it? Because it won't happen to you?

SirChenjin Tue 02-Apr-13 21:32:24

Do you use Youtube as all your reference sources WMittens?!

I take it you've already emailed the Govt and pointed out their error? Excellent! I look forward to seeing their website updated tomorrow with links to - Top Gear!!


WMittens Tue 02-Apr-13 21:13:31


Hahahahaha, ah damn! I didn't mean when were they published, I meant when were those distances 'calculated'? 2013! Oh my days.

Those published stopping distances were described in the 1960s, based on a Ford Anglia with crossply tyres and drum brakes.

Things have moved on since then

SirChenjin Tue 02-Apr-13 20:32:42

WMittens - 2013. You can link to it from UK Gov here

FarBetterNow Tue 02-Apr-13 20:16:33

I always think it is amazing the amount of people who consider themselves to be 100% law abiding, but are quite happy to deliberately drive faster than the speed limits every day.

Why are they any different to other law breakers - commonly known as criminals.

LorettaMasonPotts Tue 02-Apr-13 20:12:19

YANBU. You were being helpful and he shouldn't have been speeding.

SmilingCrocodile Tue 02-Apr-13 20:06:13

Does he really think he just has to maintain an average speed of 50, in a 50mph zone?

I would lower my speed to 50 if I knew there were speed cameras. Why risk it?

Floggingmolly Tue 02-Apr-13 20:01:36

Does he really think he just has to maintain an average speed of 50, in a 50mph zone? hmm

SmilingCrocodile Tue 02-Apr-13 19:54:31

Someone isn't pointing it out to be critical - they are doing it as a favour to you

That's very true.

It's like wearing a new dress and your DH says "Why are you wearing that dress? It looks ridiculous on you"

Therefore just being critical for the sake for it.

Or wearing a new dress and your DH says "Why are you wearing that dress? It's got a huge rip on the back"

You might already be aware that there is a rip in your dress, but regardless he is going to point it out to you as a favour to you.

mybelovedmonster Tue 02-Apr-13 19:37:22

Ooohh is that why people think it's OK to drive right up yer arse at 70mph? wink

WMittens Tue 02-Apr-13 19:19:23


Can you tell me when those 'typical' stopping distances were set?

Stopping distance from 70mph was tested in 2008 in a Mazda 2 with one person in the car came out at 25m; your link suggests 75m.

Have a look at what else is being developed:

Drive to conditions, meaning at a speed that you can stop within the distance you can see, accounting for surroundings and grip conditions. Not difficult.

Vicky2011 Tue 02-Apr-13 18:44:26

Such odd responses to the OP - and I would never claim to be a perfect driver and have bad points in the past. DH and I always warn each other if there is a camera coming fact I think we warn about the camera without even checking the speed. We also warn each other if the speed limit is something that we think isn't "expected" - like an unfamilar bit of road which is dual carriageway but actually a 40, surely that's being helpful confused It's not in either of our interests for one of us to have points.

TeddyBare Tue 02-Apr-13 18:11:42

YANBU he shouldn't have been speeding. Speed limits are set for a reason and they apply to everyone all the time.

SirChenjin Tue 02-Apr-13 18:11:37

Exactly Rocking - because we work as a couple we both help each other avoid fines and points. If we didn't, the family unit would suffer financially or worse if one if one of us lost our licence.

Not that we do speed, because we are not arses.

AdmiralData Tue 02-Apr-13 18:07:04

YANBU - he could have listened and slowed down the first time you told him.

CurlyKiwiControl Tue 02-Apr-13 18:04:37

I don't need to thanks wmittens

Seen it first hand how long a car needs to stop before ploughing into my 15 year old cousin killing him instantly.

Lived with the consequences long enough.

I agree with you for what its worth about doing 45 on a nsl road and continuing to do 45 through a villiage. I'm aware of speed limits if it was 60 I would drive at 60 - conditions permitting of course.

So less of your sarcasm thanks.

Oh and if the speed limit is 50, you drive at drive at 50. Its not fucking difficult.

You are not above the law, or are you? In that case I bow down to your supieriarity, you must be one of those good drivers I was talking about.

RockingTheBoat Tue 02-Apr-13 18:03:27

have sufficiently thick skins to withstand this onslaught on our driving prowess.

That's a really good point actually.

Someone isn't pointing it out to be critical - they are doing it as a favour to you.

And some people would plan revenge against them for that hmm odd.

SirChenjin Tue 02-Apr-13 18:03:21

Anyone who thinks they can stop a car like that <clicks fingers> is an arse.


Try taking a look at typical stopping distances

TheDetective Tue 02-Apr-13 17:59:24

I had to do an emergency brake once. It caused a crash. Kid ran out on the road. I was doing 30mph in a 30mph. Dick behind was coming up at a lot faster speed. I stopped safely. He did not. He clearly couldn't stop quickly when he needed to.

SirChenjin Tue 02-Apr-13 17:58:40

I would tell my DH the same, and he would point the same thing out to me. Fortunately we are both adult enough and have sufficiently thick skins to withstand this onslaught on our driving prowess. We've even managed to stay together for almost 20 years, despite this.

FFS, there are some VERY sensitive people out there.

TheDetective Tue 02-Apr-13 17:57:49

I would never go faster than felt safe. Whatever the speed limit. That's the point.

Again. It is a limit, not a target.

Why would you go at 60mph just to appease other drivers if it did not feel safe to do so? I think most people would do that. Unless they were total reckless dickheads.

WMittens Tue 02-Apr-13 17:55:55


No one said anything about defying the laws of physics, but I'd like to see you demonstrate your understanding of the laws of physics to see if you actually know what you're talking about. Try pressing the brake pedal to the floor sometime and seeing just how quickly you can come to a stop when you need to. You might learn something about grip and traction, too.

WMittens Tue 02-Apr-13 17:54:05

He was a bit rude, but you were a little annoying - it's about 50/50 I'd say.

And anyone saying 56 in a 50 zone is dangerous - are you the bunch of bastards in front of me never going over 50 in 60 zones "because it's dangerous"? The people doing 45 in NSL that continue doing 45 through a small village with blind bends and parked cars on either side. I'd bet my bottom dollar that you think you're safe because you're "under the limit" and completely failing to assess the conditions around you.

You might be shocked by the teachings of police ADIs and Institute of Advanced Motorists mentors.

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