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Suitable punishment for naughty 3 year old?

(99 Posts)
Sillyboys Mon 01-Apr-13 13:47:05

This is not so much an is an IHBU(is he being unreasonable)!DH has just returned from the park with the DSs .DS1 is 3.5 and came in in tears crying because he wanted his toy dinosaur.When I asked where it was he cried and said it was in the river.Then DH admitted he has thrown it in the river because DS1 had deliberately thrown a ball in the river that they were playing with.DS has been quite naughty recently(has a new baby brother) but I think DH has been a bit harsh.This dinosaur goes everywhere,even to bed,and I think DH has been mean.I don't agree that DS1 should get away with everything but I think confiscation would have been enough,not permanently throwing it away.AIBU?

Maryz Mon 01-Apr-13 14:07:03

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KansasCityOctopus Mon 01-Apr-13 14:07:34

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sherazade Mon 01-Apr-13 14:07:36

whathobnobsaremyfve said.
There seems to be a recurring theme on mn at the moment.
What your dh did was cruel and unecessary, but I think you know that already.
On a side note, I hate don't agree with punishing a 3 yo old or calling them naughty, have seen being described as all sorts of things on mn- greedy, sneaky, selfish, liar, etc. Children may do things that are wrong but why all the labelling? I do understand that I am probably in the minority here and this is in no way meant as an attack on the op,just a reflection!

JambalayaCodfishPie Mon 01-Apr-13 14:07:38

Yet another bizarre punishment thread.

At least it shows us that the majority of MNers replying are actually reasonable, and sensible after all. Some of the recent threads have had me wondering!! wink

MintChocCh1p Mon 01-Apr-13 14:11:44

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

Sillyboys Mon 01-Apr-13 14:11:59

I have name changed,yes,I feel quite upset about it.He has now gone back to the river actually.No arguments,as soon as he told me I think he knew.I just said obviously I didn't know what had happened but that the dinosaur was irreplaceable but a ball wasn't.We are all a bit tired with the new baby and he has been doing everything for the older two,which can be quite frustrating and I don't think he's used to it.We don't usually disagree over parenting stuff,but this time,honestly!Glad most people think it was too extreme,but I can't help questioning my own judgement over things like this.

Inseywinseyupthespout Mon 01-Apr-13 14:12:27

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

magimedi Mon 01-Apr-13 14:14:22

At least he realises he was wrong.

I really, really hope he finds the dinosaur.

Am hoping it's a small, slow flowing river.

Thumbwitch Mon 01-Apr-13 14:14:53

I hope it's a very shallow river then, that doesn't move much...

Cherriesarelovely Mon 01-Apr-13 14:15:11

How absolutely horrible. I hope you are suitably livid with your DH. That has made me feel extremely sad. Your poor DS wont learn anything from that other than to be horribly resentful of his dad.

MimsyBorogroves Mon 01-Apr-13 14:15:59

Now I've done my fair share of OTT things before, but this has really shocked and upset me.

I hope he finds it.

Cherriesarelovely Mon 01-Apr-13 14:16:30

Sorry x post. Very glad he has gone back, hope he finds the dinosaur.

countrykitten Mon 01-Apr-13 14:17:41

Your poor son and stupid dh. It may have been a spur of the moment thing to do as he is tired and angry but it is also cruel and immature.

These horrible punishment threads are very upsetting right now - what is WRONG with people?

Agree that the heart warming thing is that most posters get annoyed/upset about such behaviour so maybe the majority of little children have well balanced, mature parents who are not cruel and thoughtless. I hope that this is the case. sad

SneezingwakestheJesus Mon 01-Apr-13 14:18:32

Some people are needlessly cruel and need to learn to control their anger.

sherazade Mon 01-Apr-13 14:19:14

I'm honestly starting to wonder whats going on. Small children being referred to with complete contempt by their parents who are furious with them hours later for silly things and execute ridiculous punishments.

LaCucina Mon 01-Apr-13 14:21:39

This is awful - I only just posted on the upsetting egg thread.

3 is tiny! He has gone through a massive life change and your dh couldn't cope with his needs so he unfairly and unreasonably upset him.

Your Dh needs some help to think through his unreasonable expectations and to understand how his behaviour could impact on your children.

DuttyWine Mon 01-Apr-13 14:22:32

How is your ds now? Hopefully your ds is too young to look back and remember this. I remember a few years ago my friend went out with another mutual friend who threw her dds new teddy into the road because she got fed up with her whining! It has always stuck in my head as a really irrational mean thing to do. She just snapped and acted on impulsive anger which I can understand some people do, I'm guessing this is a one off thing for your dh to have done? Hopefully his own guilt will be punishment enough for him.

WorraLiberty Mon 01-Apr-13 14:23:49

Your Husband is a bully

And I never use that word lightly

But I'm afraid that's exactly what he is.

countrykitten Mon 01-Apr-13 14:26:12

Yes - bully is the exact word to describe him.

usualsuspect Mon 01-Apr-13 14:27:52

I think your DH should take your DS shopping to find a replacement.

Badvoc Mon 01-Apr-13 14:29:12

Look, kids can drive you batty.
No arguments there.
But as adults we can control our actions and over reactions.
A 3 year old can't.
I hope he finds it.

Sirzy Mon 01-Apr-13 14:31:19

Assuming the dinosaur is lost forever will you be able to buy a new one? Do you have a picture so we can help find the poor boy a replacement?

Pandemoniaa Mon 01-Apr-13 14:32:04

Massive over-reaction and a cruel one too. You never throw away a comfort toy. Ever. And especially not one that belongs to such a little boy.

I'm not condoning bad behaviour but your ds is already coping with the disruption of a new baby. At 3.5 that can take some adjustment. But since he's probably feeling fairly insecure at the moment (which will go some way to explain how he's behaving) the removal of a toy which gives him comfort is going to be absolutely counterproductive.

Best to have brought him straight home.

5eggstremelychocaletymadeggs Mon 01-Apr-13 14:34:38

Omg please let this be an April fool?!!!

If my dp did this I would kill him!!

Its a horrible, mean and spiteful thing to do sad

countrykitten Mon 01-Apr-13 14:34:42

Yes - can you describe the dino so we can see if we can source a replacement for your stupid dh to go out and buy asap

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