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Sister set her wedding date two months before mine

(82 Posts)
Karadi Sun 31-Mar-13 21:54:48

She did check with me that it was alright and even though i was taken aback, I said its fine go ahead

A bit of background. Ive been seeing my finance for a couple of years, got engaged in Sept and have been dithering about setting a date but thought we do it July. Small wedding so not much planning req.

Sister met her finance in Sept, had a whirlwind romance and they have deceided to get married and not wait. Sister is 36 yrs old and wants to start a family asap and thinking of getting married in May.

Considering all this I have said go ahead but at the back of my mind i think she is being a bit U and sort of trying to upstage me. I say sort of because she is lovely and we are very good friends so i dont think all this is conscious. She is older than me btw.

So AIBU for thinking she is?

emess Mon 01-Apr-13 19:49:43

OP I think you have found a sensible way through this. I am glad.

Real-life story: A (female) and B got engaged at New Year and declared they would marry in 1.5 years (in June). A's older brother then got engaged to his gf shortly after, and declared they would marry in August. A felt upstaged and felt it was unfair on their widowed mother (despite widowed mother not having to pay for son's wedding, obviously). So A and B pulled their wedding forward to November. A was miffed that she couldn't have the June wedding she'd dreamed of. She's my MIL and is still complaining about it 60 years later!! OP, don't let this be you ...

Trills Mon 01-Apr-13 19:51:39

Having a wedding is not "upstaging" someone, it is just "having a wedding".

Trills Mon 01-Apr-13 19:55:48

You've been dithering and have not set a date.

She has reasons to want to get married quickly.

As far as she knew you could have waited another year.

She's not dong it to upstage you, she's doing it because she wants to be married.

foreverondiet Mon 01-Apr-13 19:59:41

Yabu as you said you were dithering about when, why should she wait when you dithering? if you are worried about overseas guests have the wedding a few days after hers.

FamiliesShareGerms Mon 01-Apr-13 20:01:32

It's a bit Bennett sisters to worry about which sister gets married first

allagory Mon 01-Apr-13 23:48:05

Karadi - difficult decision, so mature. Your sister is lucky to have you.

Mother2many Wed 03-Apr-13 16:14:15

I think your worried that people won't be able to travel to go to BOTH weddings?

I agree with ImTooHecsyForYourParty , maybe have it a few days after hers...and then out of town, people travel LONG distances can attend both! smile)

I'm sure if she confronted you about the date, she would understand just talking about how you feel about everything.... Doesn't hurt to talk and ask for suggestions on how to make things work for both of you. flowers

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