To be really fed up that I cannot be a bf support worker(162 Posts)
I have had a tough time lately and have been thinking over last few days of something I could or aim to do to change my life and give me a bit of purpose.
Somebody I know is a bf support worker at the local hosp/bf group in childrens centre.I thought it sounded like a lovely job an started to think I might be ablr to do something like that as bf dd1 till she was 4, ds1 till he was 2.5, dd2 tillshe was 2 and currently bf ds2 11m so have loads of experience.
I thought maybe I could arrange to volunteer and get dh to perhaps change his hours (work flexible) to help me with dcs as they have health issues and enable me to get out and do something worthwhile that might cheer me up/get me out/help people etc etc.
Started to have a look at what is required etc and if there are any courses you need to do.
Then I saw you need a clean criminal record. I do not have one as in 2008 my horrible sister argued with me and said vicious things, when I slapped her (I know I shouldn't have) she phoned 999 and had me arrested so I have a caution for common assault
It will stop me volunteering to be a bf support worker won't it. I'm so fed up I just wanted to get out of the house and do something worthwhile for a couple of hours a week.
I'm so fed up. AIBU or is it my own fault anyway
That sounds really positive - hope it goes well for you!
Thankyou.Really pleased, it will be good at some point to do something different.
Def going to look into driving lessons in meantime as that will also be a big help.
I just want to try and get things in some sort of order and make things better if possible (or just a bit easier!) For dcs.Then fingers crossed I can have a bit of time to pursue something for myself and get out of the house!
I have been in touch with the local voluntary services centre. They were lovely to me, I explained about wanting at some point to volunteer but that I have a caution for 5yrs ago-explained it was to do with an argument with a sibling but didn't elaborate further.
The lady I spoke to said it shouldn't stop me volunteering, that I may be asked about it but it shouldn't be an issue.
Feeling loads better now, they were really positive so hipefully when things at home are more settled I can look into bf support work properly or see if there's anything else I may be able to do depending on how dcs are.
I think you may be worrying too much here. Staying at pre-school to help with your dd's medical needs is quite different to working as a volunteer or counsellor. You are not there to work with other children, you are only there because the staff cannot yet administer your own child's treatments. I'd really not do, or say anything at all at the moment since nobody has suggested you need a CRB check for what you are currently doing.
The room is very small and always other members of staff there.
Sometimes I am on an activity table with dd and one or two other children but still within that supervised environment.
As long as you are not one-to -one with another child then you are probably ok for now in that set up but you need to be under the supervision of someone who is checked.
They don't check parents who stay short term to settle dcs in and there is a parents rota where parents attend 1 session every so often just to be with their child and as far as I know there is no check for that.
I am staying with dd2 for the time being untill the staff can deal with her needs and administer treatments and untill I am happy to leave her so no idea how long it will go on for I just can't risk it being the case that they say no I can't stay as for at least the next few months I know I will need to, possibly longer I'm really not sure.
If they ask then obviously I will have to be checked.
But you don't know that. No one at the preschool has asked you so there is no problem unless you tell them. If they do want to check you, you can then tell them and there is a good chance as they know and obviously already trust you, that it won't matter.
It is unlikely to preclude you as a one-off. Otherwise at some point presumably your dd will qualify for a statement and may have her own trained LSA. You can't just ignore it, Ofsted may well ask when they next visit.
But if that is the case at one pre school I assume it would be the same at all others? That would mean dd2 could not attend ANY of them just because I have a caution.
I don't know what to do
Trouble is it will be down to the discretion of the management of that particular place. There is little point in getting an answer from elsewhere because the preschool may take a very different view.
I wonder if there's a phone helpline or similar where I could ask rather than where dd goes to pre school.
I think itd be easier over the phone than in person with people I know and I'd still get the answers I need?
They usually just do a risk assessment if something dodgy shows up on a crb check. It doesn't automatically rule you out.
I did not know that I should have a check when I was staying with my daughter due to her disabilities.
I am not an actual 'volunteer' at the pre school I am there to look after dd2 it didn't even cross my mind till now whether I even should have asked. My main concern is dd being able to attend pre school safely.
Surely that is different? Do I really need to go through bringing it all up with them?
No idea , but if you are found out not to have volunteered the info when you know you should then it won't look too good in future. Why not start by asking if , given the new system, you need one ?
Is there then a possibility I would not be allowed within the pre school setting though every day ?
I could but the childrens centre is where dd2 pre school is and I don't want them to then stop me staying with her whilst they process a check as it could take weeks? During which she couldn't then go as I have to stay with her.
Why don't you ask at the Childrens' Centre etc what might or might not be possible so at least you have the facts before applying ? The thread is now going around in circles.
You won't necessarily be ruled out of jobs that require an enhanced CRB. DP works for a not for profit organisation that requires all staff to be CRB checked at this level. It is not unusual for these checks to reveal convictions but they are assessed on a case by case basis. Admittedly, an assault charge would ring bells in normal circumstances but you'd be invited to explain the circumstances in which you got the caution before your application was refused. I have a feeling that all employers are required to do this for relatively minor criminal records and in the greater scheme of things, that's what a caution is.
Yes samu2 that is what happened after a long morning of dsis ranting (she has many other issues going on) which escalated into the argument where I slapped her.
I wish I hadn't done it but I was severly provoked. I paid a high price for it I was thrown out with dcs same day and it was awful but looking back I can see it was pre planned by dsis and stupidly I reacted precisely how she wanted enabling her to get me arrested.
There is nothing I can do about it now, we have all tried to move on and it hasn't been a huge issue until now that I want to do things like volunteer/help in school.
It is the school thing that's the worst-for anything, trips, helping in class etc they do a check. Everybody knows me as quiet, polite etc and the caution I have got would really surprise them as it is so out of character. It sounds so awful I would almost have to explain it. I'm just so embarassed. That is the main problem.
Some of these comments are bizarre.
She slapped her sister for what? saying horrible things about her disabled child just after she had lost a child? is that right OP?
Doesn't mean she is some kind of crazy arse who can't control her temper. She said she was provoked and while she shouldn't have slapped her I don't see someone she is helping to BF is going to provoke her the way her sister did.
I think most people would have lost it in that situation and it says nothing about her temper and ability to volunteer. We can all be pushed too far and I very much doubt anyone she works with is going to push her to her limits like her sister did on purpose.
I used to volunteer for a charity that was based in a hospital and was involved in their recruitment process. Each person had to be CRB checked before starting obviously, however if something showed up on their record, it wouldn't have automatically precluded them from going on to volunteer. The committee would have discussed it & also with volunteering services at the hospital. If all parties felt you were not a risk, then you could still be accepted.
I can't say whether your caution would preclude you or not - personally however if I was interviewing somebody to be a BF peer supporter and in every other way they seemed good, a caution from 5 years ago in those circumstances wouldn't put me off.
Join the discussion
Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.Register now
Already registered with Mumsnet? Log in to leave your comment or alternatively, sign in with Facebook or Google.
Please login first.