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to think you won't want to go diving 3 weeks after giving birth

(157 Posts)
ParadiseChick Sun 31-Mar-13 20:30:06

That's right, diving. On a pretty much restarted island. 5 hours drive away from your baby...

My darljng, crazy sister is 39 and expecting her first baby in July. She lives in south east Asia with her dh, both British but been out there for 7 years now. Charmed life, big income, large house, live in maid etc etc.

I've just got back from my mums who had her weekly Skype with ds is this morning. Mum has booked to go out to my sister's about 3 weeks after the baby is due to meet the baby, see my sister and help out. Today my sister asked mum if she would look after the baby for 3 nights whilst they go on a diving trip.

Sis and her dh are seasoned, experienced divers and pre pregnancy would be away on dive trips once a month. She's obviously itching to do it again as she hasn't been able to whilst pregnant.

She's planning to bf but will express.

The island they dive on is a 4 hour drive and 30 minutes on a boat. It is pretty much deserted apart from the dive club, only has power a few hours a day when the generator is put on to refill the tanks. I've been, it's stunning, but bloody cut off!

Mum is going out on her own, isn't that confident in the country, sticks to their pool and whatever restaurant the y drive her to of an evening. She'd be happier in an exclusive beach resort but hasn't had a holiday like that for years because she goes out to see dsis every year.

Mum said no. She's happy to look after the baby so they can go out for a meal or whatever but not 3 nights with a new born n a country isn't familiar with or confident in.

Sis took the higher and said something along the line of but you look after paradise kids. Yes, she's had ours overnight on a regular basis from about 12 weeks but we're 30minutes down the road on the end of a phone if need be.

All that aside - wtf? Diving? 3 weeks post birth I still felt like my insides were falling out if I walked any longer than 10 minutes and a bra hurt never mind a fucking wet suit!

Iggly Sun 31-Mar-13 20:48:23

You dont know your own body post dc because it's an unknown!

First dc - I couldn't walk let alone bloody dance for the first 2 weeks.

Second dc I was up and about quickly.

You just dont know.

Also spending 3 nights away from a newborn? Again, no fucking way. I wouldn't take the baby if I were your mum.

zoobaby Sun 31-Mar-13 20:48:41

Tell her she's dreaming.

No idea how she expects to express enough milk to last 3 whole days during the first 3 weeks of baby's life. Haha.

So your mum might be ok to look after baby (with a stockpile of formula on hand), but she'd need someone there to specifically look after her as well.

A bit much for your sister to expect methinks.

willyoulistentome Sun 31-Mar-13 20:48:54

I agree - she will look back and think "WTF was I thinking??"

It took me 6 weeks to be able to sit down without wincing.

ParadiseChick Sun 31-Mar-13 20:49:42

I felt great after both my births. As in managing to get dressed and even do the school run great!

motherinferior Sun 31-Mar-13 20:50:17

And my boobs would have got seriously engorged. Possibly exploded.

abbyfromoz Sun 31-Mar-13 20:54:00

Your sis is in for a rude awakening.
I am sure she'll discover this all in due course for herself. She doesn't sound like she's informed at all on what it is like to have a new born... Expressing? She will be lucky to have enough supply- and is risking messing her supply up by going away for so many days. And that's just the tip of the iceberg.

Try to be supportive OP when bub arrives...she sounds like she'll need your wisdom and experience it seems!

HallelujahHeisRisen Sun 31-Mar-13 20:55:47

ha, ha, ha... poor deluded thing. she has no idea!

kinkyfuckery Sun 31-Mar-13 20:55:54

Could she be planning an early elective section / induction?

BikeRunSki Sun 31-Mar-13 20:59:41

I think your sister us being naive rather than unreasonable or anything else.

3 weeks -- months -- post partum I was still in maternity clothes, no way a wetsuit! And what everyone else has said about lochia, c sections, leaving newborns, leaving your mum, expressing etc.

Skygirls Sun 31-Mar-13 21:05:07

I'm a keen and experienced diver myself and totally love it BUT I don't think your sis has a clue!

I've got 3 DCs and there was no way in hell that I would have been diving 3 weeks postnatally.
I also do remember when I was pregnant with DC1, that I would say that I would be doing this and doing that after the birth, but on birth day, everything changed. Your sis is still thinking like a person with no kids.

On a more practical note, she won't be allowed to do anything until her 6 week check- certainly not diving with possible risk of embolism or thrombosis.
Also I don't think she acknowledges the maternal instinct. I was very protective of DC1 after birth and you couldn't have prised me away.

I think she is BU to even consider it TBH. She'll just have to wait.....and learn that sacrifice is part of becoming a parent. Her needs will have to take the back seat for a while.

Good luck in trying to get her to see the error of her ways. wink

KLou111 Sun 31-Mar-13 21:08:37

Sod her and the diving, why would she want to leave her baby!?!?

FannyBazaar Sun 31-Mar-13 21:10:03

Maybe your sister just needs someone to humour her, perhaps to say to her 'let's see how you feel a week or two after baby is born, best not book it right away'. I'd imagine someone telling her now how ridiculous it sounds might make her more determined to achieve it or look silly calling it all off.

PleasePudding Sun 31-Mar-13 21:10:55

Does your sister need healthcare insurance where she lives?

I had DC1 oversees and found there were loads of limitations required by insurance company post-partum. Usually I wouldn't have paid much attention but I was concerned that if anything went wrong with me or DC1 the policy wouldn't cover us and we'd be toyally screwed on healthcare costs. I wasn't allowed swimming for 6 weeks which was a total pain arse as it was hot and we had no ac. Anyway that us irrelevant but might be something your sister should check out.

Apart from that, with a three week old right now asleep on my chest - I join with the others in laughing hollowly at your sisters expectations.

PacificDogwood Sun 31-Mar-13 21:15:10

Show your DSis this thread.

Then be prepared for her to ignore all advice and do whatever she feels is right after she's had her baby.

<<puts money on she will NOT be diving>>


2littlemonkeysjumping Sun 31-Mar-13 21:36:10

Maybe show her this:
It suggests waiting 4 weeks after normal delivery, 8 after section. hmm
Anyway, I'd say she just won't feel the same when the baby arrives... Something chemical will happen in her brain making her not want to leave her shiny new tot wink

dayshiftdoris Sun 31-Mar-13 21:42:50

I am pretty certain that diving is contraindicated post-partum. Something to do with the circulatory changes.

I am going to go and find out because it's bugging me but I am pretty certain this came up when I was a student midwife and my mentor was an experienced diver (as it happened!!) and knew the answer... damned if I can remember it nearly 15yrs later.

TarkaTheOtter Sun 31-Mar-13 21:51:51

Even if she can get enough milk expressed in three weeks/or gives formula, she will need to pump about every two hours whilst away to protect her supply/prevent mastitis. Engorgement can be agonisingly painful, with the pressure from diving too shock.

It's a ridiculous idea but she won't thank you for telling her.

mercibucket Sun 31-Mar-13 21:57:06

can we have an update in 6 weeks time, op

dayshiftdoris Sun 31-Mar-13 21:58:28

Ok 4 weeks for vaginal delivery (to ensure that the cervix is closed) and 6-8 post caesarean section (or until wound fully healed).

I was reminded when reading that we were asked by a pregnant lady (very much contra-indicated in pregnancy) but there is another consideration and this was what I remember my mentor mentioning.

Her Hb needs to be above 10 or she may struggle with her oxygen levels / decompression / etc. So if she is anaemic in pregnancy she needs a blood test postnatally before she dives to check though to honest, with delivery blood loss, feeding, etc at 3 weeks its very unlikely to be at a great level and so the longer she waits the better.

Don't forget that pregnant woman aren't treated as anaemic until 10.8 (in the UK at least but generally the 'normal levels' are lower for pregnant women) and as such she may well not be considered 'anaemic' but be pretty close to it and then event s of delivery, etc put her under 10 with no real need to re-check it.

NonnoMum Sun 31-Mar-13 22:10:46

Maybe suggest to your sister that it might be a bit tricky changing maternity pads in a wetsuit??


shallweshop Sun 31-Mar-13 22:20:11

Nooooo way! Regardless of risks of diving that soon, if she is planning to bf then how the hell is she going to factor in leaving her baby for 3 nights that soon???

Think she is in for a big shock.

formicaqueen Sun 31-Mar-13 22:44:57

Shes mad! At three weeks she will only be establishing breast feeding and feeding non stop. Expressing will be a real struggle.

woowoo22 Sun 31-Mar-13 22:49:46

Diving 3 weeks after giving birth... hahaha. She is naive. Having a quick shower every day is an achievement, never mind anything else.

scarlettsmummy2 Sun 31-Mar-13 22:52:49

There's no way she could leave a breastfeeding newborn that long! At that age they cluster feed, and regardless of that, why would she want to?

IwishIwasmoreorganised Sun 31-Mar-13 22:54:22

I love the expectation of first time parents of how their lives can resume all sense of pre-dc 'normality' as soon as their dc is born.

Would your dsis read this thread if you sent her a link?

Apart from the safety aspects, the practicalities of being away from your 3 week old (at most) child for that long are beyond reasonable. The bleeding, the hormones, the engorged breasts, the possible wounds and anaemia.......

Perhaps this time next year.........

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