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To expect friends to show up for dinner on time

(52 Posts)
Sprite21 Sat 30-Mar-13 18:38:50

DP invited friends for dinner tonight and told them 6pm, then earlier today asked if they could make it any earlier.

They texted at quarter to and said they would arrive for 6:40, with no other explanation. We timed everything for 6 so now it's all sitting there getting cold.
I know 6 is early for dinner but we have to eat then so we can eat with DD, 18 mo and then get her into bed.

ENSMUM Sat 30-Mar-13 18:41:54

Did they know Dd would be eating with you?

hwjm1945 Sat 30-Mar-13 18:44:51

Not bu.they are rude

TravelinColour Sat 30-Mar-13 18:45:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

YellowDinosaur Sat 30-Mar-13 18:46:48

They are rude. If they didn't want to eat that early they should have declined your invitation.

YellowDinosaur Sat 30-Mar-13 18:48:34

Travel it is not up to the guests to dictate that though is it? The invitation was for dinner at 6. If they didn't want that they should have declined or at least asked if there was any chance of eating later. Not texted with no explanation once it's too late for the op to change the plans as the dinner is already being cooked!

eslteacher Sat 30-Mar-13 18:49:43

YAB kind of U.

I would always give a bit of leeway for lateness, but 6.40 is pushing it a bit.

I'd never time dinner for the precise time I'd ask the guests to arrive. I'd expect to serve up a minimum of 30m after they got here, what with coats off, small talk, drinks etc.

But if you had explained to them why you needed to eat at 6pm exactly and they didn't say anything at the time, YANBU

pootlebug Sat 30-Mar-13 18:52:34

What riverboat said. Do you friends have children? If not I suspect that unless you made it very clear why you had to eat so early they might just have not picked up on it.

Hissy Sat 30-Mar-13 18:53:31

I'd feed your DD and go ahead with your routine. Passive agressive praps but 40 mins late is flaming rude.

readysteady Sat 30-Mar-13 18:56:32

Did they know dinner was to be at 6 or did you say come at six? Six is very early to eat so maybe they thought you were eating later. If you said dinner will be ready at 6 then they were rude otherwise it's just a misunderstanding surely?

MajaBiene Sat 30-Mar-13 18:57:12

YANBU - if they agreed to come at 6pm, then rude of them to be late.

Though I must say I find it very odd that you invite people over for "dinner" at a toddler's tea time. Surely more sensible would to be to feed your DD first and then have an adult dinner at a more reasonable time?

TravelinColour Sat 30-Mar-13 19:00:23

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LindyHemming Sat 30-Mar-13 19:01:22

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

digerd Sat 30-Mar-13 19:06:58

They are, for announcing to you 15 minutes before dinner was ready, that they would be arriving 40 minutes later. No apology or reason for being that late. That was inconsiderate and arrogant of them. Plain rude.

MrsLouisTheroux Sat 30-Mar-13 19:45:12

I doubt very much that they would imagine you will be eating with your DD!
Adult friends for dinner usually means DC fed, bathed, bed early then a long, relaxing evening meal with friends later.
How can you doing bedtime routine when your guests arrive other than leaving them part way through evening?
Oh well, I hope you've got it sorted out.
I bet they were leaving arriving a bit later so that you had chance to get DC in bed.

MrsLouisTheroux Sat 30-Mar-13 19:46:16

Also agree, arrive at 6, eat at 8 ish sounds right.

Sparkletastic Sat 30-Mar-13 19:49:16


Eating with an 18 month old?

Why not dinner at 8 when offspring asleep and adults can relax?

TheSeventhHorcrux Sat 30-Mar-13 19:52:35

I have no issue with children but tbh if I was going around for a meal at a friends I would expect to eat at an adult hour and not with a baby at the table.

However, turning up late is rude so YANBU there.

sarahtigh Sat 30-Mar-13 20:02:55

generally if asked to dinner at 6 i would think arrive 6-6.15 to eat at 6.30-6.45 unless I knew people well; most invites are on basis of 7 for 7.30 etc,

SauvignonBlanche Sat 30-Mar-13 20:06:23

Dinner - at 6? hmm YABU

ThreeWheelsGood Sat 30-Mar-13 20:08:24

I would assume arriving at 6 meant dinner was being served at 7 or 8. YABU sorry!

LadyKinbote Sat 30-Mar-13 20:09:31

YANBU. If I was invited for a 6pm dinner (and think it's rather nice to eat with your DD), I'd arrive 5:45ish. If you didn't have DC I'd think it was weirdly early but then again your house, your rules!

chandellina Sat 30-Mar-13 20:21:46

Yabu, can think of nothing worse than arriving and immediately sitting down to eat with an 18 mo old and then parents disappear to put her to bed.

sarahtigh Sat 30-Mar-13 20:26:14

if someone with kids invited us for 6 i would assume we were eating with kids if they invited us at 8 i would assume kids in bed

FullOfChoc Sat 30-Mar-13 20:27:21

YANBU they are very rude.

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