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to have felt humiliated by shop assistant (feeling hormonal and unsure)

(45 Posts)
FairhairedandFrustrated Sat 30-Mar-13 18:17:32

I have £200 worth of vouchers for a local independent shoe shop which I love and shop in regularly (well, as regular as I need/want shoes!)

I am on the hunt for a pair of nude heels so when I was in town this morning I called into the shop.

Female on duty - my feet are a size 2/3 but I know their shoes only start in a 3 or 4 and usually buy a size 3.

I picked up a pair of nude heels, slipped them on & they were pretty big, too big so even an insole would have been no use.

The girl working there said she had no shoes that would fit me and I said I normally shopped there, in fact the boots I was wearing had come from there and I had £200 of vouchers burning a hole in my pocket. She then asked me where I'd got the vouchers!

I wandered down the shop and picked up another pair of brown coloured ankle boots and a pair of red ones in the same brand, showed them to dd who liked them too. Immediately the girl took them from me, put both pairs back on the shelf saying, "The 3 in them are very big fitting too."

She didn't even give me a chance to try them on, I always buy a size three, I always wear bed socks with them.. she then went into the staff bit and I picked up my bags (trying not to cry as I felt I'd been chastised by her not even letting me try the boots on and the fact my period is due in the next few days and I am emotional anyway)

Her colleague, a male, asked me if I got sorted out. I said no, adding "her attitude needs worked on" and left.

Now I feel I don't want to go back into the shop when she's there (I've never seen her before so not even sure if she may be the actual owner) but on the other hand I have vouchers to spend and they were gifts from family & friends knowing I love the shop.

Part of me wants to make a complaint, the other part wants to give the vouchers away & never go back near the shop again - I felt humiliated by the way she took the boots out of my hand and back on the shelf, like you would do with a child who was touching something it shouldn't.

It's hard to explain, but I wasn't dressed well today, I had no make-up and I just felt the woman couldn't be bothered with me.

Am I being unreasonable to be annoyed now 8 hours later or am I blowing this totally out of porportion? (it's ok if I am, just be gentle with me) wink

ENormaSnob Sat 30-Mar-13 18:21:02

Oooh it's like pretty woman.

Could you go back with lots of posh bags and proclaim 'big mistake'

HungryClocksGoBackFourSeconds Sat 30-Mar-13 18:21:28

nah, she sounds like a twat. You need to swan back in there all glammed up ala pretty woman and show her who's boss :p

EarlyInTheMorning Sat 30-Mar-13 18:21:50

I don't see how it would ever be okay for a shop assistant to snatch shoes off a customer's hands. What a cow! Is it one o

HungryClocksGoBackFourSeconds Sat 30-Mar-13 18:22:35

great minds think alike norma!

EarlyInTheMorning Sat 30-Mar-13 18:22:57

as I was saying. Is it one of this poncy independent shops where the owner feels too good for most customers that walk in? Do complain.

MarmaladeTwatkins Sat 30-Mar-13 18:23:29

No, you are not over-reacting! She sounds awful. Care to name and shame?

Don't give your vouchers away as you will be cutting your nose to spite your face. If you give them to someone else, the shop will still get the £200 worth of custom and you will have nothing.

I would complain and tell them that you feel embarrassed and belittled. If you tell them you're angry, shops tend to get defensive. Tell them they embarrassed you or humiliated you and they will break their necks to help you out.


Roshbegosh Sat 30-Mar-13 18:30:29

You need to complain, if you didn't have the vouchers you could just go elsewhere but you deserve to feel comfortable in a bloody shoe shop. No disrespect to anyone working in a shop but do you remember Joanna Lumley in AbFab saying to one "less of the attitude sweety, you're only a shop assistant"? I am so over putting up with crap like that, but keep calm and don't let them upset you.

FairhairedandFrustrated Sat 30-Mar-13 18:34:30

There are usually two men in the shop, one of whom was in today - I sort of assumed they owned it but again, not certain.

They sell Irregular Choice, Fly, Rocket etc, expensive shoes, but I have never witnessed them thinking they were too good for the customers, they're usually very nice which is probably why I feel so bad.

I don't want to name and shame, as I say they're usually very nice. I just can't shake the feeling I had this morning and it's put me in bad form all day.

I tried to explain to dh who said I sounded a bit mad when I said I felt like crying but when I told my sister she was enraged on my behalf (probably because she knows what it feels like to have small feet and finds it hard to get any bloody shoes to fit her too smile

FairhairedandFrustrated Sat 30-Mar-13 18:36:23

I've looked online and this is their only shop, or I would simply have went to another branch.

Thanks for the reassurance everyone.

YouTheCat Sat 30-Mar-13 18:39:09

I'd complain. The woman in the shop doesn't sound like a very good sales person.

Go back when you are feeling less hormonal. Buy some shoes.

Nirvana1999 Sat 30-Mar-13 18:39:12

Cheeky cow. I bet you're kicking yourself for not saying anything but hormones are a bugger! I'd go back post period and be ready for the bitch.

Lucyellensmum95 Sat 30-Mar-13 18:45:31

I have actually had someone say to me "excuse me madam but i think you'll find we don't have anything in your size in this shop" blush

Pixieonthemoor Sat 30-Mar-13 18:48:22

I would phone them, ascertain who the manager/owner is and when they are in. Then I would go in (glammed up and feeling confident) and take them to task over the way you were treated. Really crap service and if she is so poor at sales and bloody arrogant to boot, there are plenty who would give their eye teeth for that job.

dangly131 Sat 30-Mar-13 18:49:28

I would go back and ask to try on as many pairs as possible so she is running around after you and then go back to the first pair that you tried on exclaiming that you were right to want these straight away but that you knew she wouldn't mind helping you be sure by trying on every other pair in the shop! ha!

LetMeAtTheWine Sat 30-Mar-13 18:54:44

I would go back and if she tries to serve you say you want to be served by someone else who is nice and helpful, and not her as she is a twat.

Definitely use your vouchers though, they are yours to spend on something lovely.

flippinada Sat 30-Mar-13 19:02:38

I would complain and lay it on thick about how upset you were.

That is very rude and there's no excuse for it.

70isaLimitNotaTarget Sat 30-Mar-13 19:11:31

If I was you (and you've got time to spare) I'd go in when she's there - with my vouchers so they know I'm good for it- and try on every pair of size 3 shoes.
I'd make sure she went into the shop back and search.
"No, I quite like these but have you got them in a more pink shade. Could you check"

Then after I've tried them ALL on I'd leave. Leave her to sort them out.

But I'd go back later to buy shoes when she's not there.

Be super polite but not passive. Be assertive grin

70isaLimitNotaTarget Sat 30-Mar-13 19:12:45

dangly Cross Post.

Great Minds and all that grin

AnyoneforTurps Sat 30-Mar-13 19:19:13

I feel your pain. I once asked for a bra in Calvin Klein and got the reply, "We don't do them in your size because we're a fashion brand and people like you need more support". hmm

I am a size 12, not that the rudeness would have been excusable, whatever size I was.

AnyoneforTurps Sat 30-Mar-13 19:19:55

PS if you google the shop name, you can probably find out who the owner is.

StuntGirl Sat 30-Mar-13 19:20:13

She sounds like a massive bitch. I would complain, definitely. Physically taking the shoes out of your hand? Fuck her!

Lavenderhoney Sat 30-Mar-13 19:27:27

How rude! Have you a friend you could go with who also wants to try every pair on in the shop?

I would call, ask when she is not there, say why, but still take an assertive friend, just in case someone is off sick or something. Money doesn't care what you look like, she had no right to treat you like that, a customer with cash to spend - clearly the vouchers represented cash already spent!

Areyoumadorisitme Sat 30-Mar-13 20:45:13

I feel for you, I had similar in Clarks of all places!

I asked them to check DSs shoes still fitted ok (they were Clarks). They tried the usual let's measure the feet etc then see, and I said no can you just check his current shoes please because I don't want to buy new ones unless I had to as it was just a few weeks from the end of term. The woman said she thought they'd be ok and advised I 'come back when you've got the money'. I was livid and embarrassedblushangry, I had the money then but just didn't want to spend it if I didn't have to.

In retrospect I was very casually dressed and was extra sensitive as I'd just been made redundant but she shouldn't speak to anyone like that.

I would spend the vouchers and make the point when you go in that ordinarily you love the shop but she made you feel uncomfortable and perhaps could do with some customer service training?

I feel your pain and you weren't being unreasonable.

BarredfromhavingStella Sat 30-Mar-13 21:04:47

She sounds like a cow, doubt she's the owner with that attitude-you should absolutely complain.

Lucky she didn't get me before my period is due-think hormonal rottweiler blush

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