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To want to compromise on this?

(8 Posts)
Erimentha Sat 30-Mar-13 12:27:38

My husband has just gone back to using spray on deodorant, I can't stand the stuff it makes me feel sick and the smell gives me a headache both when its in the air and on the body. When he uses the spray he still wants me to be affectionate towards him and I have tried but its hard to be affectionate when you feel like you want to throw up and are getting a headache, when I inevitabley pull away he gets upset/grumpy about it. I understand that he wasn't happy with what he was previously using and wants to use something different but he refuses to even try using a roll on which I may find more tolerable.

So AIBU to expect him to take my feelings into consideration and compromise on what he uses if he wants me to sit near him and be affectionate towards him?

CaptainSweatPants Sat 30-Mar-13 12:29:13

yabu

are you allergic to it? seems a bit of an extreme reaction

pompompom Sat 30-Mar-13 12:29:45

I have the same thing with DP - he's switched back to Lynx and it makes me want to hurl.

Why did he stop using the roll-on, did it not work well enough for him?

Erimentha Sat 30-Mar-13 12:36:59

I'm not sure what he has been using for the last 18 months but he has gone back onto the spray as he said he still felt sweaty not smelly sweaty just damp.
Captain I'm not allergic to it I don't think, the smell brings on migraines and the sickness started when I had hyperemasis with my last dd, most scented things now trigger bad nausea. I don't really use anything scented myself either and had to change all our cleaning stuff as to things that didn't trigger the same response.

OxfordBags Sat 30-Mar-13 12:45:58

Aerosol intolerance or allergy is actually fairly common. Aerosols are pretty nasty ans can bring on a wide variety of allergic reactions, including yours. OP, it sounds like you're chemically-sensitive. I am, and have to be careful with what we use here. If the spray-on he's using is making you ill then YANBU. You getting migraines trumps him feeling a bit sweaty! There are plenty of stick or other deodorants that tackle heavy sweating very well, there's just no need for him to specifically use a spray. Yeah yeah, it might be what he likes, but that's v selfish if it makes you feel ill. Bit worrying that he doesn't care about how it affects you.

pompompom Sat 30-Mar-13 12:46:12

There's a roll-on in a green bottle, I can't remember the name of it but it's pretty effective - Mitchum I think?

Captain - It might be an extreme reaction but it doesn't sound like one that the OP can do much about. Her DH can easily just stop using the horrible spray stuff though.

CookieLady Sat 30-Mar-13 12:46:37

YADNBU. I've had hyperemesis with both of my dc and my dh had to ditch his favourite aftershave as the smell sets me off. Your dh needs to be more understanding.

spottyparrot Sat 30-Mar-13 12:50:39

Sounds like he's using too much and also at the wrong time. Dh puts deodorant spray on before going to work in the mornings so it isnt an issue in our house. It is unperfumed but the chemicals are still nasty. Neither of us wear deodorant at the weekends.

I hate the smell and think its antisocial to shove deodorant on before wanting affection.

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