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To be losing faith a little?

(11 Posts)
BruisedFanjo Fri 29-Mar-13 18:30:03

Semi light hearted!

I just seem to be losing faith a little lately. I work hard, am generally a good person (yeah, you at the back, stop sniggering!) but never get a break! My current situation is that I work a 50billion (disclaimer: not all figures in this OP are literal :p) hour week to provide for our family of four. That's myself, DP, DD and DSS. I go without spending time with my child and money on myself to give BOTH kids the best I can. DP ex generally makes life shitty, threats of physical violence towards us all, even though contact is 50/50 it ends up more like 60/40 as she dumps DSS on us all the time to go out drinking (nothing against mums having social lives, I just think 14 child free days a month should be enough) pays for nothing yet refuses to let DP claim his CB so we can have a little help. In context, new shoes time can cost me upwards of £100 a pop - two pairs for "dads' and two pairs for "mums" as if we try and share clothes/belongings she keeps them at hers and returns old dirty small things. We have paid for all school trips and activities and school meals for the time every year she "forgets* to fill out the FSM renewal.

She does not work, yet gets 100% of benefits for DSS despite him being here the majority of the time. The money goes on drinking weekends (this is not - I repeat not!! - a benefit bashing thread. I do not think all single mums on benefits are living it up. Just in context, HB, CTB, CTC, IS and CB adds up to A LOT of free cash when she doesn't actually spend any of it on the child. When all the child's shoes clothes entertainment school stuff and 60% of food heating etc is provided by Dad...)

Now I live with this with general good humour (*ahem*) but the kicker today is...

We found out the woman has very recently had a god damn fucking lottery win. Still dumped DSS on us and has buggered off without spending any on him to go do whatever it is she does.

All her benefits etc will be stopped but she won't give up the "passport benefit" of CB to DP so he can have any help. Still expects us to pay for everything.

So I am chuckling like mad, as if I don't laugh at the silly situation I will cry.

I do this a lot on my life.

AIBU to think good things happen to bad people and good guys get fucked over?

(No we can't counter-claim her CB on the basis he is here more, last time we tried it she contested it and also kept him super strictly to the agreed times with threats to cut us below 50% contact, and of course we missed him like mad and gave in)

Long.. Sorry! Come share any stories to give me hope that one that the nice guys will finish first!

Tiredmumno1 Fri 29-Mar-13 18:34:57

That sounds like an awful situation to be in OP, I am sorry I don't really know what to advise. It's difficult as you need to keep the peace.

Hopefully more clued up MNers will be along smile

Theicingontop Fri 29-Mar-13 19:00:17

Christ, she sounds like a nightmare, but I was always under the impression that the cb was awarded to the parent whom the child is with for the majority of the time. Yanbu to feel like the nice guy finishes last in this situation, how completely unfair.

How much did she win, btw? Was it a substantial amount or are we talking a couple thousand?

BruisedFanjo Fri 29-Mar-13 19:21:40

Were talking "quit-your-job" (you know, if she had one) amounts. Were talking dancing naked in front of your boss singing nahnahneenahnah before driving off in your sports car lol!

Anyone got any "finishing top" stories?

flossy101 Fri 29-Mar-13 19:24:26

How much did she win?????

flossy101 Fri 29-Mar-13 19:26:11

Sorry x post.

Wow, you always read about people winning the lottery being no happier and it all being spent within a year! Maybe that will be her!

YouTheCat Fri 29-Mar-13 19:30:33

Dob her in to the CB by putting in a claim.

youmaycallmeSSP Fri 29-Mar-13 19:36:43

sad poor you and poor DSS. I bet she spends the money extremely quickly by jetting off on back-to-back holidays. Then you will have DSS all the time and can get the CB smile

BruisedFanjo Fri 29-Mar-13 19:51:51

Ha maybe! Nah I don't care really, wish her no ill, I just want the luck to come my way for a change!

I had a diagnosis of a heart condition a couple weeks ago so maybe I'm due some good luck?

BruisedFanjo Fri 29-Mar-13 19:54:32


Dp has brought me a scratch card from the shop.

Its a winner!

£2 grin

WhereYouLeftIt Fri 29-Mar-13 20:17:59

Go for full custody?

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