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to want DH to take him with me on a work trip abroad?

(51 Posts)
ButteryJam Thu 28-Mar-13 22:45:44

DH is going on a 10 day work trip to the Middle East when I'll be 34 weeks. I'm happy for him to go but would really like to go with him! He'll be staying at a lush hotel and as I'm on maternity leave then, I could just rest, go to the spa, go shopping and just enjoy myself smile

DH is not keen due to a) he thinks ill be in the way (I'm very very independent so I won't be in the way) b) say I go into labour there (well at least he'll be there then!). I also think secretly he thinks its awkward as his other colleagues will be with him and they tend to go out together for dinner every evening etc. and also he has never ever heard of anyone else dragging their spouse with them (but we are in an exceptional situation smile).

Anyhow so AIBU or is he?

grabaspoon Thu 28-Mar-13 22:47:10


Are you seriously considering flying at 34 weeks to go to a spa and shopping when you could do this at home?

ButteryJam Thu 28-Mar-13 22:47:34

Sorry title is wrong, should read 'take me with him'. Mumsnet iPhone app really needs updating!

ripsishere Thu 28-Mar-13 22:47:59

YABVVVVU. If you do go into labour there, it'll be a very different experience to the NHS. you'll also have the passport and registering child issue. i've done it, although mine was planned.
Also, his collegues would possibly laugh at you and him.
Work is work, holidays are holidays. Don't confuse the two.

QuintEggSensuality Thu 28-Mar-13 22:48:32

Yabu to want to spend 10 days in the Middle East as a LONE pregnant woman.

LaurieFairyCake Thu 28-Mar-13 22:48:41

Would you even get a certificate to fly?

ButteryJam Thu 28-Mar-13 22:49:20

grabaspoon, thanks, yes I wouldn't mind flying out at 34 weeks if my GP is ok with it.

Hassled Thu 28-Mar-13 22:49:31

I don't think you can fly past 28 weeks, can you?

Sirzy Thu 28-Mar-13 22:49:47

So you would be nearly 36 weeks pregnant by the time your coming back?

You would be mad to go, book a spa day near home!

annh Thu 28-Mar-13 22:51:01

YABU - and deluded! At 34 weeks, you may not even get permission from the airline to fly long haul. Your situation is not "exceptional", I'm sure your dh's colleagues' wives have also had babies, maybe some of them are even pregnant now.

YellowandGreenandRedandBlue Thu 28-Mar-13 22:51:11

I don't think the airline will carry you anyway.

ButteryJam Thu 28-Mar-13 22:51:14

Thanks all! You've knocked some sense into me grin

TheBigJessie Thu 28-Mar-13 22:54:33

YABU. I went into labour at 34 weeks! grin Granted, I have twins, but everyone was confident I would go to 37 weeks (when I would have been induced) as I had scan that said there was less than a one per cent chance I would go into labour before 33 weeks. Obviously, scan was dead right!

Whoknowswhocares Thu 28-Mar-13 22:55:24

Yabu. On so, so many levels.

1.He is right. You WILL be in the way. It is a work trip. For workers. It would be weird and inappropriate even if you weren't pregnant
2.a long haul flight at that stage of pregnancy? You won't even get travel insurance! Or be allowed on the damn plane. seriously think going into labour in a foreign country while on a jolly with your OH's work is a sensible option? For the chance of a spa and shopping? Come on, really?
Or is this some sort of joke?

Whoknowswhocares Thu 28-Mar-13 22:55:52

Sorry cross posted!

willyoulistentome Thu 28-Mar-13 22:57:45

Even if you weren't pregnant, cant see why you would wsnt to go with him on a work trip, especially to the middle east. Work trips are HARD. I've been on loads of them. I would feel awkward if my dh came along for evening meals with colleagues. Evenings are when I could debrief and talk about how the work was going. I would feel my colleagues would be a bit annoyed if I was treating it like a holiday.

SummerFin Thu 28-Mar-13 22:58:48

yes I wouldn't mind flying out at 34 weeks if my GP is ok with it

It's not just ok if the GP says it is.

Airlines have their own restrictions, some are more lenient than others.

What a ridiculous and stupid idea regardless.

ButteryJam Thu 28-Mar-13 22:59:12

*Thanks everyone! smile

As I said earlier you've all been really helpful, and knocked some sense into me and I realise IABU. Can this thread be closed now? Thanks. *

GreenEggsAndNichts Thu 28-Mar-13 23:02:09

hah. I understand why you'd want to. I went with DH to Korea when he went for a conference, and I was pregnant. However, I was probably only at the end of my first trimester. At 34 weeks you'll just want the baby out, and as others have mentioned, it's very unlikely any airline would carry you anyway.

Definitely book yourself something special to do while he's gone. smile

Christelle2207 Thu 28-Mar-13 23:04:32

extra comment -if airline alllowed you to fly-some ok with letter to 35 wks- you would still struggle to get insurance.

ButteryJam Thu 28-Mar-13 23:05:22

GreenEggs, thank you, I will do and thanks for understanding smile

My 1st post in this section and it can be a little daunting. Hope people will just back off now, I've admitted that IABU.

SummerFin Thu 28-Mar-13 23:05:30

Can this thread be closed now? Thanks

You asked for opinions and you got them. You purely want this thread to be closed because people don't agree with you.

Why would you even want to go - pregnant or not? Odd.

ButteryJam Thu 28-Mar-13 23:08:31

SunmerFin, you are mistaken and there's no need to be rude and jump to conclusions! I want this thread closed because I don't want others wasting their time telling me IABU when I have now realised thanks to all the above posters that IABU. Simple as.

GreenEggsAndNichts Thu 28-Mar-13 23:08:46

hah sorry I must've had the response window open longer than I thought, I xposted with your post above mine. I'm tired and slow. smile

Whoknowswhocares Thu 28-Mar-13 23:09:16

Don't feel daunted. Many people will continue to post their own thoughts and experiences after a thread has reached a resolution but that doesn't mean they are getting at you specifically.
More that it becomes a general discussion, which some were late to the party on wink

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