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To think that a person who "doesn't like having a photo taken" is a PITA?

(148 Posts)
gail734 Thu 28-Mar-13 18:21:00

My MIL is a little ... self-absorbed, shall we say. One belief that she holds is that she looks better in a photo if she's sort of caught unawares, rather than just facing the sodding camera and giving it "cheese" like everyone else. So she now tries to create this effect every time, waiting until a split second before the picture is taken before turning her head and staring into the middle distance. I first noticed it when she spoiled all of the informal photos at DH's graduation, standing beside him doing what is basically a catalogue pose. I knew she'd do it in my wedding photos, so I told the photographer to watch her like a hawk. Judging by the number of times he shouted, "Mother of the Groom, look straight at the camera, please!" she was planning to do it in every photo. She's now doing it with my 9 month old DD, her only grandchild. I think that in years to come, my DD may like to have a photo of herself with her grandmother, but I've now given up. I've always thought that people who do the big flappy hands, going, "Noo! Nooo! Don't! Don't take my photo!" make a tremendous show of themselves, but this is something else. It's not all about YOU, you old bat. And you don't look better staring off into the distance. You look like a simpleton.

BrunellaPommelhorse Fri 29-Mar-13 21:28:49

Lol at budgie

DyeInTheEar Fri 29-Mar-13 21:00:00

YANBU - but I used to fucking well do this. What a total twat.

Though my reasons were
1. I look like a gurning fool when I smile
2. I develop four more chins when I smile
3. I somehow looked redder but could be because I only relaxed enough to have my photo taken when I was drunken

I thought if I suddenly looked away when the photo was taken I would get away with not smiling and therefore not look like a gormless twat. But instead I just looked like I'd wandered into the photo and was looking for my lost escaped budgie.

I now smile, awkwardly and stiffly and try and stick my chin out.

crazycanuck Fri 29-Mar-13 19:31:28

I think there's a lot of missing the point on this thread. I think it may be because the thread is somewhat mis-titled (sorry OP!). Your MIL clearly loves having her photo taken as long as she's in her pose which essentially places her as the central subject of the photo. I don't enjoy having my photo taken, but I certainly don't manufacture a gormless pose that makes me the focus of photos I don't want to be in. Your MIL adores having her photo taken in affected poses, but loads of posters on here have taken your thread title to heart and think you're attacking those who really dislike appearing in photos.

I'm probably not making much sense (back to the cider...) grin

DoJo Fri 29-Mar-13 18:42:50

I hate having my photo taken but mostly because I ruin perfectly pleasant photos of groups of my family/friends by looking like a demented, staring freak. I'm not exactly spectacular looking in real life, but at least I'm not constantly confronted by the sight of my own leering, peculiarly posed face unless I look in a mirror, whereas having photos of me captured looking horrendous is depressing. I don't want to learn 'tricks', I just want to look nicer in general, but as that's not to be, I just try to avoid being in photos. I know that this is a light-hearted thread, but I do think that perhaps the solution is to accept that this is one of your MIL' quirks and enjoy it as such.

hopefloats Fri 29-Mar-13 18:20:59

I think if I was your MIL I would have snatched the camera off you and punched you in your self-absorbed chops by now.

LaQueen Fri 29-Mar-13 18:19:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CalamityJ Fri 29-Mar-13 17:34:16

Do we have the same MIL? She ruins all the photos she has in her own house, all our wedding photos she was in and now all the baby photos with her in. IMHO it makes her look simple, like she doesn't understand how photos work! smile So not YANBU to not want your photos ruined by a simpleton.

HarrietSchulenberg Fri 29-Mar-13 17:19:21

I was at an award ceremony for fairly youngish people a couple of weeks ago. It involved having a photo taken while they collected certificates. A couple if them did the Hello pose thing laqueen described and they looked like vain self absorbed twats compared with the ones that shook hands and smiled. The photos proved it - the posers look like wannabes while the more natural ones look much better. We actually can't use the posers' for our publicity as they look so fake, which rather defeats their intended objective.

I utterly hate having my photo taken. Unless I'm drunk, in which case you have to prise me away from the lens.

Feminine Fri 29-Mar-13 17:05:37

laqueen is correct, her tips are well known and do work.

I look quite rough in every day pics, but scrub up well when needed!

op my Mum is like your MIL, she has extended these habits when photographing the Grandchildren too! grin

EndoplasmicReticulum Fri 29-Mar-13 17:02:34

"flapping and fussing and protesting" only happens if people are rude enough to insist on taking a photo.

If "please don't take my photo" isn't enough, I will hide.

Obviously for special occasions (like my wedding) I did the grin and bear it thing. But just generally, I'd rather they didn't.

Some people see everything at one step removed, through a lens, and don't think an experience has been worth having unless it's on Facebook. This irritates me.

LadyBeaEGGleEyes Fri 29-Mar-13 17:00:38

I don't mind having my photo taken, unfortunately when it is I either look deranged or pissed.
I may occasionally be the latter, but even sober the camera hates me.

ReturnofSaturn Fri 29-Mar-13 16:55:04

I agree in a way, I have a best friend who I barely have snaps of as she refuses to get in one on any occasion.

I too dislike having my photo taken as I genuinely always look horrendous on photo's, but i still get in them, to be nice. I just grin and bear it. grin

ByTheWay1 Fri 29-Mar-13 15:33:48

I hate the current craze of taking loads of photos on a crappy phone and posting them straight to facebook - are people being deliberately unkind - or do they REALLY have no inner editor saying " no I don't think ByThe... would like a photo of her looking really fat with her hair all skewiff put on the internet for all to see.."

Hence MY current craze of putting hand in front of phone until it goes away...

scarletforya Fri 29-Mar-13 15:26:50


I hate all that flapping and fussing and protesting some people do when it comes to photos. I am not photogenic to say the least but I just grin and bear it.

My inlaws have an enlarged family shot of us all at dd's Christening. Everyone in it looks normal, except me. I look like a walrus trying to photobomb the group shot from the bottom. (kneeling on the floor) The walrus-photobombing effect is increased even further by the tiny hand of one of my SILs resting on one of my wobbly chins. blush

What can you do but laugh and cringe!

MarmaladeTwatkins Fri 29-Mar-13 15:14:14

I agree with OP. She sounds a PITA.

Mind you OP, you could have my mother who thinks that her best photo face is achieved when she does the old Lady Di trick, 'chin down, eyes up,hint of a smile"

She looks like she needs a shit tbh.

midastouch Fri 29-Mar-13 15:05:12

well i am a PITA! i hate hate hate my photo being taken im not in the slightest bit photogenic.
However its a bit different at people weddings etc i dont want to ruin there pictures!

DrCoconut Fri 29-Mar-13 15:01:32

I hate having photos done because I am so non photogenic its untrue. I always spoil group pictures with eyes shut, looking drunk when I'm not etc. For our wedding I asked the photographer to take loads of each shot, which he did. We still had trouble finding enough good ones with me on to fill the album! Even worse is when people put hideous pics of me on Facebook. I sympathise with people who hate being photographed and agree that unposed photos tend to be better especially if they take them when I'm not expecting it. Am trying to have a few done so my descendants know I existed grin

LaQueen Fri 29-Mar-13 14:51:06

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Passmethecrisps Thu 28-Mar-13 22:13:59

Brilliant coco!

Probably ineed, probably wink

cocolepew Thu 28-Mar-13 22:06:37

I used to be really photogenic, much better in photos than the flesh.
Unfortunately that seems to have desserted me and I look like a gurning mad eyed horror. I always have my eyes open too wide so they don't look old and crepey. It makes me look like whoever is next to me have their cock out.

cocolepew Thu 28-Mar-13 22:02:26

I sitting here like a numpty practicing the tips hmm.

gail734 Thu 28-Mar-13 22:01:43

I have a cousin who's actually a model. She's in catalogues and things - she's not Linda Evangelista. In family photos she always turns directly sideways, hand on hip and sort of looks down her arm, beaming at the camera. It looks a bit affected since she's usually surrounded by all her big country bumpkin cousins and mad haired aunties.

greencolorpack Thu 28-Mar-13 22:01:39

My Dad hates getting lots of photos taken. He will tolerate one and I am coming round to his way of thinking. It applies to many things. For example did anyone see the Madness concert at the BBC the other day? There were the cameras and the BBC taking lovely moving pictures of the event and yet, there were a whole bunch of people pointing their mobile phones at the band recording them.... Those recordings will be shit! Why can't people LIVE IN THE NOW? They should take one token photo just to show they were there and then just enjoy the experience of being there, rather than deferring their lives for the sake of a crappy bad sounding bad image video that will go on YouTube along with everyone else's. What a waste of time and effort.

I sympathise OP. I think it's pretty strange when people stand looking over their shoulder at the camera cos they think it makes them look thinner. It looks weird when one person is doing this in a group shot and everyone else is face on.

cocolepew Thu 28-Mar-13 22:01:15

I think some people are misreading this hmm.

INeedThatForkOff Thu 28-Mar-13 21:53:33

Ps - if you thrust a hip forward and 'cock a leg' you look like a vain twat.

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