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To think that a person who "doesn't like having a photo taken" is a PITA?

(148 Posts)
gail734 Thu 28-Mar-13 18:21:00

My MIL is a little ... self-absorbed, shall we say. One belief that she holds is that she looks better in a photo if she's sort of caught unawares, rather than just facing the sodding camera and giving it "cheese" like everyone else. So she now tries to create this effect every time, waiting until a split second before the picture is taken before turning her head and staring into the middle distance. I first noticed it when she spoiled all of the informal photos at DH's graduation, standing beside him doing what is basically a catalogue pose. I knew she'd do it in my wedding photos, so I told the photographer to watch her like a hawk. Judging by the number of times he shouted, "Mother of the Groom, look straight at the camera, please!" she was planning to do it in every photo. She's now doing it with my 9 month old DD, her only grandchild. I think that in years to come, my DD may like to have a photo of herself with her grandmother, but I've now given up. I've always thought that people who do the big flappy hands, going, "Noo! Nooo! Don't! Don't take my photo!" make a tremendous show of themselves, but this is something else. It's not all about YOU, you old bat. And you don't look better staring off into the distance. You look like a simpleton.

gail734 Thu 28-Mar-13 19:02:42

OMG, read my original post! bigbuttons, I certainly don't DEMAND to take this woman's photo. She gets in my photos and makes a funny face. The same funny face in every photo! RedToothBrush - she doesn't ABSTAIN. I wish she would! People look at my otherwise nice photos and go, "OMG, what is up with your MIL??" She is not shy - she think's she's gorgeous. The whole "looking into the distance" thing was developed after long hours poring over photos of herself. My point is - it is, let's say, my wedding. Stop worrying about how you look in the photos. Nobody is looking at you. You daftie.

nyprincess Thu 28-Mar-13 19:03:00

I hate getting photos took & will avoid it when ever possible. I don't say no just to get attention or whatever, but because I hate how I look in them. I hate the way I look when I look in the mirror & in pics I look worse so why would I want a reminder of that. I only have a few wedding pics that I am happy having on display & they are ones where you can't see me from front view. I don't even have any nice ones with my daughter, which I do feel bad about.

If I annoy people by refusing to be in photos them I'm sorry but that's the way it is.

BrunellaPommelhorse Thu 28-Mar-13 19:03:23

gail you are funny

JamieandtheMagicTorch Thu 28-Mar-13 19:04:08

I didn't have Wedding Photos. that is how much I hate being photographed.

OP. in your opinion she spoils the photo with her catalogue pose. I think you should try and laugh about it.

EndoplasmicReticulum Thu 28-Mar-13 19:04:26

I hate having my photo taken too. And I don't like to smile because I have wonky teeth.

I did not enjoy my wedding party as people with cameras kept trying to do "taken unawares" sort of pictures. Meant I couldn't relax for a second.

crashdoll Thu 28-Mar-13 19:06:21

People who are surgically attached to their cameras are a right PITA. So, YABU if you're talking generally but YANBU about MIL who sounds super irritating. Although, if I were you I'd let her look silly, it's her choice.

Chiggers Thu 28-Mar-13 19:06:36

I hate having my photo taken. So much so that I'm not in any of my DB's marriage/civil ceremony family pictures.

I refuse to wear make-up for photos as every type of make-up I've tried, makes my face feel really claggy and very uncomfortable.

JamieandtheMagicTorch Thu 28-Mar-13 19:11:04

I have one photo of both my Nans. That is enough. The rest is resurrected from memory.

Hassled Thu 28-Mar-13 19:11:41

There's nothing worse than some wanker doing the "catching you unawares because no-one's really unphotogenic, they just pose badly" shite. Some people really are unphotogenic, and they're the same people who look weird in mirrors.

Gail - have you a photo of your MIL not doing the "pose"? Is she actually unphotogenic?

JamieandtheMagicTorch Thu 28-Mar-13 19:12:38


i hate foundation. I love maybelline BB cream, though. It is the first foundation/ tinted mousturiser i can wear happily.

wildfig Thu 28-Mar-13 19:13:29

There's a difference between someone who doesn't like having their photo taken (fair enough) and someone who has fixed on one particular photo in which they look brilliant and has vowed to recreate that exact pose in every single photo ever taken of them subsequently, regardless of how the rest of the photo group is composed (as with the OP's MIL). It's a family joke that my DAunt has been adopting a Joan Collins-esque, 'third ballet position', 3/4 turned face, 'enigmatic' smile, since approx 1959. She has it off to such a perfect degree that every photo looks as if she could have been photoshopped in, so identical is the pose. and now I do it too because it works

OP, I know what you mean. While everyone wants to look fabulous in a photo, you just have to accept that you probably won't look as amazing as the version in your head in some of them, but to the people you're in the photo WITH, your presence is what matters, not your double chin.

You need to get a few really nice shots of MIL looking straight at the camera, so she can replace her current photo pose with a more easily blendable one. Can you get any professional shots of her with her GC done? Where the photographer can persuade her?

gail734 Thu 28-Mar-13 19:14:52

Right, next time I'm in a photo with her, I'll try and guess what random direction she's going to look off into. Then I'll try to gaze in the same direction and we'll both look like we've been surprised by someone walking into the room. Or maybe I should rest my elbow on her shoulder and look off in the opposite direction, in the manner of a 70s knitting pattern??

wildfig Thu 28-Mar-13 19:15:44

Also, it's just rude if she's constantly looking out of shot in every photo. It must have made your wedding photos look as if there was a huge car crash/vicar on fire/helicopter landing taking place just out of sight.

JamieandtheMagicTorch Thu 28-Mar-13 19:16:12

Seriously, how many photos one need?

oldraver Thu 28-Mar-13 19:16:16

No whats a really PITA and very rude, are people who try to insist on taking your photo when you have specifically asked not to take one then try to do it sneakily.

JamieandtheMagicTorch Thu 28-Mar-13 19:16:28

Does one need?

MechanicalTheatre Thu 28-Mar-13 19:17:29

I hate having photos taken all the time. Can't anybody just fucking enjoy themselves without sticking a camera in my face 24/7?

gail734 Thu 28-Mar-13 19:18:39

Oh wildfig, the sarcasm was not aimed at your very sensible self! And all the people who "look terrible" in photos: tilt your chin down a little and look up. Practice in the mirror. At least all these little pouting teens posting selfies on Facebook know how to take a photo of themselves!

YellowandGreenandRedandBlue Thu 28-Mar-13 19:21:58

How many pictures does one need?

I have a friend who has over 6000 pics of her 20 month old.

I think that is an ample sufficiency.

gail734 Thu 28-Mar-13 19:22:44

LOL at the vicar on fire. Precisely. Someone looking out of the shot, not smiling, looks bored. None of those made it into the album, obvs. I let her choose her own photos and had a little MIL's album made for her, which I paid for. Catalogue shots a-go-go. Nasty? A bully? I am a saint!

newgirl Thu 28-Mar-13 19:23:08

Surely it's easier to go along w having photo taken than to say 'don't like it' etc and make a bigger deal put of it?

I agree with op - situations like weddings/babies it's normal to get your pic taken - just get it done as quickly as pos no daft posing or protesting

JamieandtheMagicTorch Thu 28-Mar-13 19:25:28

Photos lower my self esteem. Most of the time I think I am pretty bloody attractive. Until I see a photo. I would just be a lot happier living the delusion I have created for myself.

YellowandGreenandRedandBlue Thu 28-Mar-13 19:25:52

But newgirl - why should people have to do something they don't want to just to please the camera bullies?

Lizzylou Thu 28-Mar-13 19:29:17

One thing that does annoy me is people who are photogenic and look good in photos but are actually rather plain/ugly in rl. They think they are the dogs because of how they look in photos when actually they look like a bag of spanners.
Not bitter about an ex-colleague, oh no. She always looked good in photos but in rl looked like Beaker out of the Muppets.

gail734 Thu 28-Mar-13 19:29:36

Hassled - she's not hideous, but she gets very excited at the type of event that you might take photos at. For example, your GC's christening. So she talks a great deal, resulting in sort of gurning photos, where she appears to be going "Oooh," or "Shhh..." [sigh] Just smile woman. Just a nice, bland smile.

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