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To have locked my 3 year old in her room ?

(35 Posts)
Inseywinseyupthespout Thu 28-Mar-13 11:48:54

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Inseywinseyupthespout Thu 28-Mar-13 13:01:20

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LizaTarbucksAuntie Thu 28-Mar-13 13:04:43

Oh, I feel your pain Insey.

What's your favourite thing to do all together? Can you do a sort of amnesty with that, wipe the slate clean and start again?

Don't be too hard on yourself though, it gets on top of all us at times.

<DrLTA prescribes hot chocolate and an early easter egg all round>

OHforDUCKScake Thu 28-Mar-13 13:15:27

Hope floats, child abuse is illegal.

I have done nothing illegal to my son, ever.

Smacking doesn't work, it's not very nice and I don't do it now.
I did not abuse my child.

BubbleGunsGirl Thu 28-Mar-13 13:41:24

I could have written your post OP. i am sorry for you, it is hard. It happens less to me now because i am careful to protect them when I AM tired and everything you described about how you feel. (But it happened yesterday).

Firstly, time out in their own bedroom is good so long they know why. So make sure you have told her in a calm way why. When you "release" her ask her to tell you why you were cross (to make sure she understood) and ask her to say sorry.

Secondly, recognise the fact that she is responding to your attitude towards them: less patience, sense of humor. So she is not behaving like that to be mean to you but she is showing you that she can feel (but dont understand) how you feel. So while this is unacceptable behavior, get out in your garden (or open the window), take a deep breath and start again.

Can you ask her to help you bake a cake/cookies?

And remember, tomorrow will be better. Good luck

Softlysoftly Thu 28-Mar-13 13:54:18

Oh bollocks to negative associations. DD1 was always put in her cot bed after awarning and she still slept and played happily all night in it. I am not one for faffing around putting them on a naught step time and time and time again.

YANBU following through and pouring her in her room, YABU getting to that stage of shouting and losing your temper but we have all been there.

My advice would be don't let her ever get to the stage where you are background noise or you lose your temper, 1 warning including if you continue x happens then do it, if that's putting her in her room so be it. If it's taking the paints away and putting them on a high shelf fine. Just doit calmly with an "I warned you" then give a time limit of when she can have them back.

I also find sheet the storm of them being upset has passed I talked to dd1 alt why we got here and then did nice things with her and her behaviour had improved loads. I found if I lost my temper she reacted by being horrible generally. If I'm calm she's calm. Monkey see monkey do.

Try and get out though before you lose your mind, wrap up super warm and go for a walk. Also split your day if you have to be in eg breakfast then play dress up then snack and tv while baby sleeps (and you get time out), then free play while yiu tidy/deal with baby. Then lunch, tjrn do some crafts etc.

That way you and she knows what comes next and neither of you go stir crazy (plus you have segments to get you to blissful bedtime!).

Softlysoftly Thu 28-Mar-13 13:55:52

Ok swype typing is not my friend.

ubik Thu 28-Mar-13 14:03:58

I think you should all do something nice.

Curl up on soda with DVD? Play a simple card game? Lie on floor and build duplicate house? Try and make it positive, distract her from bad behaviour. Give her the attention she craves but be firm about hitting warn her, then put her in room, ask if she's ready to apologise and return to nice activity. She has an incentive to behave well.

Remember she is 3. She is not a bad child, she is a little person who is competing for attention from mummy in the only way she knows how.

Also - some days do unravel , it's like you set yourself up to have a lovely time with the children but they don't realise this, they just see opportunities to have 'time with mummy,' and it doesn't matter whether you are cross as long as you are paying attention.

TheChaoGoesMu Thu 28-Mar-13 14:06:56

I make dc go to their rooms if they are getting too much. No negative associations here. It gives us time out from eachother if needed. I apologise to my dc if I've fucked up. I've noticed that dc readily apologise back and to each other if they do something wrong. So its a good example to set them.

racingheart Thu 28-Mar-13 14:09:40

She's probably run down too, just as you and the baby are.
You did nothing wrong, putting her upstairs, and don't feel bad about a ruined week. She'll forget it as soon as you do something nice together.

My DC are older now but I well remember days like that. Everyone has them. Best way to deal with them is to take the easy way out. Put on her favourite DVD and let her snuggle up under a blanket with you. She might need you to offer a way out of the standoff without losing face. You could go up and say you suddenly realised she might have been feeling ill too herself, just like you and the baby are, so would she like some calpol/warm milk etc. See what she says.

Don't cook tonight either. Do beans or spaghetti hoops and ask DH to pick up something ready made on his way home for you.

Inseywinseyupthespout Thu 28-Mar-13 21:28:09

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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