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to be pissed off with dh

(155 Posts)
uptherear Thu 28-Mar-13 09:05:14

Dh works p/t half through previous unfortunate circumstances but half because he prefers it.
He enjoys his job and has less stresses than before.
Of course we are skint but I am a good budgeter!
So we cant afford treats but i bake to give dcs a treat for school break and occasional budget a 6 pack of crisps as these are dds favourite treat.

I used to have to hide them or dh would scoff them despite my saying these are for the dc. But recently we have had discussions and I expressed my frustration at having to go to the troubke of hiding treats. He should know as I do that we can only afford these as a little occasional treat for the dc. My treat is that I get to be a sahm, his treat is doing a piss easy job he loves p/t the kids miss out on stuff we could once afford so I like to get them a little treat for school snack every once in a while. They get fed up with scones/muffins/flapjacks that i have made.

Dh scoffed the last pavk of crisps that was in the basket for her snack today. Dh claims he ate them because only 1pack so thought it'd be ok. We have 2 school age dc and one preschool. Ds prefers a biccy as a treat so had one aside for him and crisps for dd who ended up in tears going to school with a biccy that she isnt fussed about.
Fed up wiyh everyone everyone making sacrifices and dh helpjng jimself to whatever he fancies :-(
So pissed off. Am i an unreasonable control freak?!

MorelliOrRanger Sat 30-Mar-13 22:03:30

Ok, here's my ten pence worth.

Yes from the OP you husband is an arse for eating a packet of crisps if they were your daughters.

From another of your posts yes he's an arse for eating the easter egg.

In another of your posts you say you have savings, why don't you just take a bit more out of there to buy more treats for your children.

Also you said you buy fruit and veg (very sensible IMO), but why don't you grow your own, very cheap to start and very rewarding to eat your own produce, therego saving more money to buy more crisps.

WallyBantersJunkBox Sat 30-Mar-13 21:43:30

Can you decide f you are poor or rich and let us know because we are thick and we need clear wording.

grin@ Laquitar

WallyBantersJunkBox Sat 30-Mar-13 21:41:38

Ok you are not drip feeding at all. (But I'd advise you to read your postings again and how much more/different info you add when people aren't giving an answer you are in agreement with).

What you have been is sweepingly rude to all posters on here who disagreed with you, and incidentally no one has called you a lazy selfish cow, you pulled that one out of the bag yourself:

Ffs honestly ....
Sad that so many of you read my op and labelled me a lazy selfish cow.
Honestly the absolute half wits on here astound me.
I will refrain from posting in aibu as I forgot the kind of posters it attracts.
Chasedbybees happy to welcome someone who has their full quota of intelligence to the thread.


RedHelenB Sat 30-Mar-13 18:44:08

Agree dreaming but I've a feeling OP won't!!!

dreamingofsun Sat 30-Mar-13 18:17:41

so a packet of crisps is a 'treat'? OK if this is for health reasons...but we are talking finance here. how is a 0.30p thing a treat?

it sounds like she has only applied for one job. if she can manage to find places to volunteer in, it would suggest there may be paid employment around as well.

she sounds like a control freak to me...but that may just be the way she words her threads

why should the working husband 'stock up on food'. shouldn't food buying by part of a SAHM's job?

RedHelenB Sat 30-Mar-13 15:53:02

Hoiw can he if there is a strict budget!!??

BookFairy Sat 30-Mar-13 15:33:29

The OP can't create a job when there are none. She keeps saying that money isn't the main issue. She budgets to buy treats for the DC but if she doesn't hide said treats her DH will eat them, even when he knows they are for the DC. He works away 3 days a week and could stock up then if he wanted to.

dreamingofsun Sat 30-Mar-13 15:13:01

bookfairy - perhaps in a moment of weakness and hunger he ate some chocolate and the crisps he didnt realise were already earmarked? maybe there was not much else to eat? One could argue that the mother is putting herself before her kids as she's not willing to work a few days a week whilst her husband can provide childcare

BookFairy Sat 30-Mar-13 14:50:36

Re. Working Tax Credits: I am a single person earning £19,000 before tax (36hrs pw) and do not qualify.

The issue isn't money. The issue is that the H puts himself before his children.

holidaysarenice Sat 30-Mar-13 14:45:18

You are probably one of the few families I think deserve the bombshell of UC.

Sad that. Sadder you have savings (mentioned when asked how you'd manage a boiler replacement) but won't use a few measlt pence for crisps for your kids...

uncongenial Sat 30-Mar-13 14:44:18

I missed the Easter egg part. Though wonder why it was being eaten before Easter Sunday, by anybody

Laquitar Sat 30-Mar-13 14:41:54

Well said bringback.

And i'd like to know if OP is allowed crisps herself.

But if you make a decision as a family that you will survive on the PT wage, by cutting out adult food treats, wine, yoga classes etc - then it isn't fair for DH to unilaterally go back on that. It's, er, having your cake and eating it (sorry blush).

Maybe sit down with DH and go over family budget again and check he is still happy with current arrangement and not bitterly resentful as suggested above? I take it you are still OK with it, from your comments on here?

Eating the DC's Easter Egg that they were rationing out is just the act of an absolute arse though.

Waspie Sat 30-Mar-13 14:38:50

I'd be pissed off (understatement) if DP ate my DS' only Easter egg. When a) he knew it was our son's egg and b) it was the only egg he had and had been rationed it to make it last longer.

I feel sorry for OP's DD whose own father thinks he's so much more important than her that he has the right to eat her [only] chocolate egg. Selfish git. YANBU OP.

bringbacksideburns Sat 30-Mar-13 14:26:50

Can't be doing with people who post on AIBU and then get arsey with the replies and defensive, and come up with excuse after excuse after excuse...

The issue is money becuse it wouldn't niggle you quite so much if you had three variety packs in your cupboard would it? I would find a job to fit in with the hours your partner doesn't work and move out of the middle of nowhere or suck it up.

uncongenial Sat 30-Mar-13 14:12:03

Is it possible he is hungry? Are there any edible treats for the adults also? You're all managing to have adequate meals? Sorry if that comes across as rude.

I still don't think he should eat them, if that's all you have for your dc. However, I do think you need to reexamine your finances if you're so stretched.

CinnabarRed Sat 30-Mar-13 14:07:28

I suspect the point is that if the OP bought more crisps then her DH would eat them all and there would still be no crisps for her poor DD.

orangeandlemons Sat 30-Mar-13 13:47:52

Actually it does. We hardly ever had treats because we had no money, and everything was very tightly controlled. When we got them we would go mad for them. As a result of this I am out of control around treat type stuff. Several psychologists have made this connection not me.

givemeaclue Sat 30-Mar-13 13:41:38

Problem easily solved by purchasing additional crisps

ParadiseChick Sat 30-Mar-13 13:32:38

I must work 32 hours a day.

StuntGirl Sat 30-Mar-13 13:28:46

Don't be ridiculous polly.

Actually that goes for you too OP.

ParadiseChick Sat 30-Mar-13 13:21:17


Pombear anyone?

MammaTJ Sat 30-Mar-13 12:57:53

He always says 'adjust your own oxygen mask first'. In his eyes he is more important. Thats what pisses me off.

This is not selfishness but common sense. You cannot help others if you are dead.

Dadthelion Sat 30-Mar-13 12:52:38

I'm trying to imagine a world where I was rationed on crisps, I can't.

I've just scoffed some Hula Hoops and now I'm going to scoff some Monster Munch.

Why is it always 'scoffed'?

Viviennemary Sat 30-Mar-13 12:45:55


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