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To be angry with this woman?

(75 Posts)
bubblesinthesky Wed 27-Mar-13 22:51:15

DD finished school today. Her school always finish at lunch time on the last day of term. We arranged to go out to lunch with a group of her friends and whichever of their parents could make it, very casual arrangement with everyone paying for their own share. There were 18 of us altogether including children.

One mum came with her 3 children They all had 3 courses. Just as we finished our puddings and before we got the bill she suddenly said she had to go. Someone said OK we'll just get the bill and she said "oh sorry we're really short at the moment would it be alright to split our share of the bill between the rest of you I can put in a couple of quid towards a tip". A couple of people said that actually it wasn't alright and she said well I'll pay you back after the holidays if its a problem but I thought you wouldn't mind.

There was nothing we could do we had to split her cost between us

Most of us could afford to do this but it just left such a horrible feeling all round. One mum though was on a really tight budget herself and said she couldn't manage it as she'd budgeted almost to the penny herself to pay for this end of term treat so she couldn't take on the extra cost. She was obviously embarrassed being put in a position where she had to tell us that as well sad

Even though I feel sorry for her, I feel so angry that we were put in that position. If she'd spoken to me or some of the others before the meal we could have organised something as we wouldn't have wanted her children left out but it just felt like we'd been deceived when she dumped it on us at the last moment

heyannie Wed 27-Mar-13 22:54:21

Er no you are not being unreasonable. She is clearly a chancer and took you all for a ride, and you let her. I would have not paid more than my share (even if I could afford it) and would leave her to sort it out with the restaurant. I bet she does have the money as well, if she didn't, she wouldn't have had 12 courses between her family that she couldn't afford.

HollaAtMeBaby Wed 27-Mar-13 22:56:23

What a cheeky cow! YANBU. I trust you all agreed to freeze her out of any future social plans, parties and playdates?

DeepRedBetty Wed 27-Mar-13 22:57:12


and angry for all of you put in such a nasty position.

She's just blown an awful lot of playdate and party invites hasn't she?

CalamityJ Wed 27-Mar-13 22:57:22

Wow! The cheek of the woman! How dare she assume the rest of you can afford to sub her without checking first. She should have cut back on what she ordered like the other person who was budgeting probably did or not come. Cheeky cow. No invite for her in future.

shesariver Wed 27-Mar-13 22:57:31

There was nothing we could do we had to split her cost between us

er yes there was - pay your own and refuse to pay this woman's! Come on, what kind of person eats out and expects others to pay for it really. Let her argue with the restaurant.

LucieLucie Wed 27-Mar-13 22:58:01

Yanbu! Cheeky mare had it all planned by the sounds of it! Who on earth brings 3 kids and allow themselves to tuck in to 3 fecking courses each then depart suddenly before paying!???!!! Chancing scrounger!

I would have paid for the meals exept theirs and provided her name and address to the management.

I HATE this type of person.

Simple. If you cant afford it you certainly dont gorge on 3 bloody courses, they could have just had chips to share if money was tight.

PowerPants Wed 27-Mar-13 22:58:20

That is so mean. And to have three courses too. Taking the piss.

SquinkieBunnies Wed 27-Mar-13 22:58:45

What a rude woman, she was hoping you'd all chip in an I bet hoping no one would mention it again.
Keep track of whoever paid her share and present her with a bill for her meals.

heyannie Wed 27-Mar-13 22:59:03

Yea, by paying, you have basically given her carte blanche to do it again in the future. Maybe not to you, but to whatever other poor mugs she meets. Brazen people like this have no sense of shame or embarrassment, so she won't care that she pissed you all off.

YouTheCat Wed 27-Mar-13 22:59:23

If she'd just ordered mains for the kids and coffee for her then she could possibly be forgiven, but she knew she couldn't afford it and expected everyone else to pay for her anyway.

And really shitty for the poor woman who had budgeted (and probably didn't order as much).

Make sure you get the money back from her. It's sad but ultimately it's her kids who will miss out. I wouldn't invite her along again.

bubblesinthesky Wed 27-Mar-13 23:00:36

Sorry one thing I forgot to say in the OP was that the children's menu was a fixed price 3 course menu (about £6) so their's was not excessive. Her's WAS

Toasttoppers Wed 27-Mar-13 23:00:50

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

YouTheCat Wed 27-Mar-13 23:01:25

Still taking the piss though.

Xmasbaby11 Wed 27-Mar-13 23:05:28

YANBU. How horrible of her! I think I would have done the same as you as I don't like unpleasant situations. I doubt you'll see that money again. I wouldn't invite her again - but it's a shame her kids will miss out. If she were genuine, she would have asked one person to borrow the money BEFORE ordering.

SirBoobAlot Wed 27-Mar-13 23:07:05

How fucking rude can you get!!

If you're that skint (and I do know what it's like) you either don't go, don't eat yourself, or only have mains. But don't just presume that someone else will pay for your food. EUGH.

kawliga Wed 27-Mar-13 23:07:10

Eating out is a luxury many people can't afford, so YABU to have felt sorry for this woman. She didn't need to join you if she couldn't afford it.

abbyfromoz Wed 27-Mar-13 23:07:56

YANBU! And i am gobbsmacked that people like that actually exist.

CabbageLeaves Wed 27-Mar-13 23:08:24

I would be fuming. I've only ever had this done to me once - wont forget her attitude. How very sad for her children

thezebrawearspurple Wed 27-Mar-13 23:10:35

Wtfshock, yadnbu, make sure to get your money back from her, don't let her get away with that.

StuntGirl Wed 27-Mar-13 23:11:48

Cheeky cow!

Icelollycraving Wed 27-Mar-13 23:13:13

That is really rude. She needs to be called on it before it's the end of the holidays. Pisstaker.
Feel really sorry for the mum who couldn't afford it but she had accounted for it. That is what you do if money's tight not bunk at the sight of the bill angry

sleepyhead Wed 27-Mar-13 23:16:05

That's pretty much theft really, if you think about it shock

PebblePots Wed 27-Mar-13 23:19:31

Wow, what a cheek

GreenEggsAndNichts Wed 27-Mar-13 23:21:03

This is astonishing. I'm shock at the thought of it.

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