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regarding my daughter's first car?

(68 Posts)
allo2101 Wed 27-Mar-13 11:59:43

My daughter will be 17 in July. Her father, from whom I have been apart since she was two years old, has said he will pay for her first car. This is probably the first time he's offered to pay for anything substantial since we split up, ALL he gives me maintenance of £160 a month for my two teenage daughters. I have always paid for all school trips, holidays etc etc. But I appreciate his offer and I am very grateful - although I know I'll probably end up paying most of the insurance ....

Anyway, he asked my daughter what cars she likes (budget of around £1200). Her favourite is a Renault Clio. He said in no uncertain terms, "I'm not buying you that French crap, choose something else. I'll buy you anything but a Clio." (He isn't one for mincing his words) She then decided she liked two other types of car, Yaris and Corsa - and again he said, "No, they're crap, I think you should have ...." and named a couple of other cars which my daughter really doesn't like the look of. She said, "But you told me anything but a Clio and I've named two other cars." They have ended up having a huge row about this and it's really upset me.

I can see both points of view, he says he's buying her the car and she should grateful to get anything. She says that she doesn't want him to spend loads of money on a car she's not happy with. I'm stuck in the middle of all of this and I am really tempted to tell him to forget the whole thing and I'll buy the car myself, not that I can really afford to pay for that, the lessons and the insurance. She's trying desperately hard to get a part-time job to pay for the insurance herself but it's very hard to find anything much where we live.

AIBU?

allo2101 Wed 27-Mar-13 12:00:18

Don't know where that ALL came from!

cricketballs Wed 27-Mar-13 12:06:10

Does your ex know about cars? He maybe speaking from knowledge/experience of maintenance and costs for a vehicle which is a few years old

TheChaoGoesMu Wed 27-Mar-13 12:06:21

Well, I guess she will need to decide what to do. Take the car she doesn't like so much so that she has transport, or save up and get her own. Its a bit mean of him though.

Oodsigma Wed 27-Mar-13 12:08:46

I agree on not getting a Renault but think he's being unreasonable in not letting her have a say/explaining his reasons for why not to have those cars.

I'd recommend a Yaris btw!

RedHelenB Wed 27-Mar-13 12:09:40

Think they need to go car shopping, just the pair of them. I know bugger all about cars & it helped having an older friend come with me.

TheCraicDealer Wed 27-Mar-13 12:09:59

Although there is a lot to be said for "not looking a gift horse in the mouth", there's no joy in a gift if it comes with conditions or caveats.

If she does her own research on the car she wants ( here is the WhatCar article on used Clio's ), presents it to her Dad and he still says "No", then you have to give her some home truths. Either she can take the car her Dad wants her to have, or she can save up herself and buy a car of her own choice. You buying once should not be an option, you can't afford it.

allo2101 Wed 27-Mar-13 12:12:26

He used to be in the car trade years ago and thinks he knows everything - but every car he has seems to always be a heap of junk, always in the garage or off the road for some reason!! He just seems to want her to have what he thinks - I have only ever heard good things about Toyota cars so can't see his objection to it quite honestly. The things he's picking out for her she says look like boy racer cars!

cricketballs Wed 27-Mar-13 12:12:46

Plus a Clio and a corsa are very expensive for young drivers to insure as these are the ttype that usually get 'modded' to look/go faster than originally made

GeoffVader Wed 27-Mar-13 12:13:55

I think your ex is being a difficult twat. He did say anything besides a clio that in itself is a bit hmm I would be advising your daughter to tell him to stick it (nicely) and save up for something she actually wants.

Branleuse Wed 27-Mar-13 12:15:14

she should just be happy to get a car at 17 imo. how many kids get that??

allmycats Wed 27-Mar-13 12:15:30

Why don't they check out insurance groupings and use this as a base point to choose a car

allo2101 Wed 27-Mar-13 12:16:31

Geoff, thanks - I agree! Branleuse, it appears that most of her friends have had cars for their 17th birthdays - I know it wasn't like that in my day - one of her friends has been given an almost brand new car!!!

allo2101 Wed 27-Mar-13 12:18:01

The Yaris is definitely in a low insurance group if it's 1.0 litre. I think the small engine Corsa is as well.

nocake Wed 27-Mar-13 12:18:16

It's very unreasonable for him to ask her what she wants then shoot down her preferences. He either needs to have a sensible conversation about what are good cars, what's reliable and cheap to run or he should have bought her his choice without a discussion.

I like CraicDealer's suggestion that she do her own research then tell him what she wants with the reasons why it's a good car. Look for insurance costs, maintenance costs, reliability etc.

And the Yaris is a fantastic little car. All the car magazines and reviewers have said so. His knowledge is clearly wrong.

smilingthroughgrittedteeth Wed 27-Mar-13 12:18:20

Im on the fence a bit because although I agree that if he has said she can choose he should let her, I also sort of think she should be grateful to have a car bought for her especially since she currently doesnt have the means to keep it on the road herself.

I do agree with him about renaults though, ive had a clio and a megane and as much as I loved them both they cost a fortune for parts when something goes wrong my landrover costs less to get repaired

I think they should go car shopping together

livinginwonderland Wed 27-Mar-13 12:20:50

i think she should be happy she's getting a car at all. if she wants something else, she needs to get a job and save for it like everyone else.

AllOverIt Wed 27-Mar-13 12:21:24

My friend is an RAC driver and he told me that the cars he is least frequently called out to are Japanese ones.

I'd get a Toyota Yaris.

Almostfifty Wed 27-Mar-13 12:25:14

cricketballs we have a 1.2 Corsa and it's very cheap to insure.

I agree on checking insurance groups for costs, they vary so much.

Chiggers Wed 27-Mar-13 12:27:05

I have always been told that the Japanese makes of motorbike and car are the best ones to go for engine-wise (we're talking Honda and Suzuki for cars).

This is because their engines are pretty sturdy and last for ages. A biker friend of mine is mad about japanese cars. Believe me, he has put Hondas, Suzukis, Toyotas, Hyundai and even Nissans through their paces and they have stood up to the test. So those cars are the ones to go for if your DD wants a good, long-lasting motor.

Everyone I know has has at least one Japanese car and once they've realised how good they are, they have stuck to those makes.

pompompom Wed 27-Mar-13 12:27:37

Agree about the insurance - have a look at the lower bands and base the decision on that.

Chiggers Wed 27-Mar-13 12:28:15

Has had at least one Japanese car.

allo2101 Wed 27-Mar-13 12:28:34

Thanks everyone - I'm going to try to persuade him re the Yaris but I can't deal with any more shouting matches! livinginwonderland, she is grateful, she just doesn't want a boy racer model which he wants her to have. She's a student so can't get a full-time job at the moment - in fact the car will probably be passed to her younger sister when she goes to uni as she probably won't need one in a big city.

pompompom Wed 27-Mar-13 12:31:15

Get a couple of insurance quotes for a Yaris, and for the cars he wants her to get. That might help convince him?

samuelwhiskers Wed 27-Mar-13 12:31:32

My DD's 10 yr old Yaris which she recently sold for £1600 cost a fortune in parts tbh. It was 7 yrs old, 60,000 miles when she got it and the spare parts it needed cost far more than a fiesta, corsa etc. It was a lovely car though. Maybe your ex is trying to go for a car that won't cost her too much to maintain.
They should go together to see the cars if he is paying. My ex just sent the money and we wemt shopping for my DDs Yaris. Maybe to ease the stress of it all, just let the two of them get on with it and not get involved. It would really wind me up if my ex started going on like yours. Don't buy the car yourself if he has offered smile

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