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To Say No To This?

(45 Posts)
zukiecat Wed 27-Mar-13 11:23:11

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hobnobsaremyfave Wed 27-Mar-13 11:24:36

No is a complete sentence. <channels spirit of mumsnet>
You don't have to do anything you don't want to do as you are a grown up. Ignore your "friend".

Smuffy Wed 27-Mar-13 11:24:50

The illegal bit wouldn't bother me. I used to pay a friend for childcare. But I wouldn't want to be a constant babysitter so Yanbu

BlissfullyIgnorant Wed 27-Mar-13 11:25:37

What about your health? Does that not count?
I hate it when people make assumptions that because you have no job, you have no life and they should fill it for you.
Tell her no, YANBU.

Lottashakingoinon Wed 27-Mar-13 11:25:51

Of course you wouldn't! Good grief, whatever next? What's more you don't have to justify it. 'No' is NOT a complete sentence but it's a perfectly valid statement in its own right.

Take care

MrTumblesBavarianFanbase Wed 27-Mar-13 11:26:12

Of course YANBU, niece can find a proper registered childminder like everybody else - the link between you and the niece is quite tenuous anyway, and I wonder if she is even aware your friend has asked you to look after her not even born yet baby! She will need before and after school care for the 5 yo too if she is working full time.

Crawling Wed 27-Mar-13 11:26:27

Def not being unreasonable.

Lottashakingoinon Wed 27-Mar-13 11:26:39

Sorry HobNobs cross posted...wasn't having a go flowers

NotMostPeople Wed 27-Mar-13 11:27:10

YANBU just because you're not working it doesn't mean you have to anything you don't want to. If I ask you to walk my dog, clean my house or pick my kids up from school just because you are around is that reasonable?

PiHigh Wed 27-Mar-13 11:27:15


she said "You're not doing anything else, why can't you do it?"
shock WTF? I think the answer to that is "because I don't fucking want to"

WallyBantersJunkBox Wed 27-Mar-13 11:27:50

Exactly - it is illegal.

You are not insured or trained to be a childminder, and would have to live with yourself if something happened.

Are they asking to pay you or expecting it for free?

That's a very demanding friend, if she is a friend at all. How would you attend medical appointments with a baby? I'm assuming that you need time for rest and recuperation if you are not at work.

i can't quite believe the b*ll*cking cheek at her retort tbh. Sounds like she had made her mind up that it was going to happen, and you are now ruining her well thought out plans.

Direct her to the Governerment website where she can find a list of childminders in the area.

And find some nice friends.

LemonPeculiarJones Wed 27-Mar-13 11:28:18

How rude of her. You don't exist to meet her needs to the detriment of your own.

That gets my goat. YANBU.

MmeThenardier Wed 27-Mar-13 11:29:15


Cheeky cow, she'll be asking you to pop in and do her cleaning next as you're 'not doing anything'.

Goldmandra Wed 27-Mar-13 11:30:14

You are right that it would be illegal if you were being paid and didn't register as a childminder. Perfectly legal if they didn't pay you of course but why on earth would you do that?

Caring full time for a baby or toddler is hard work and a massive commitment. I wouldn't dream of asking someone to do this unless they really wanted to. The last thing children need is to be cared for by people who don't really want them around.

You are perfectly right to say no. Could you offer to go with the niece or your friend to look at childcare settings to help them find a good one which suits them?

ENormaSnob Wed 27-Mar-13 11:31:09

Yanbu at all.

You are unwell
It would affect your benefits
You won't be insured

But above all, you don't fucking want to!!

shewhowines Wed 27-Mar-13 11:31:51

No way.

"I don't want to do it and anyway it's illegal" should cover it.

The cheek of it, especially to ask why not afterwards.

YouTheCat Wed 27-Mar-13 11:33:58

What they all said ^ . Just tell her you have way too many hospital appointments and point out that you would not be insured.

Also throw in a few comments about locking babies in cupboards and only feeding them gruel until they are 12. wink

zukiecat Wed 27-Mar-13 11:34:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pandemoniaa Wed 27-Mar-13 11:34:50


It's not so much the potential for illegality but the assumption that "you're not doing anything else" that is completely U because the reasons that you are at home are almost certainly incompatible with wanting to take on the care of someone else's newborn baby. Just say no.

EndoplasmicReticulum Wed 27-Mar-13 11:35:40


If both parents are working, and they are staying with granny, then they can afford to pay childcare. That will not be with you, as you are not registered so it would be illegal.

You will not provide free childcare because you don't want to.

HarrietSchulenberg Wed 27-Mar-13 11:36:36

a) you are not a registered childminder and by offering payment your friend is expecting you to work illegally.
b) you are not working because of ill health. How can you be expected to take on the role of childminder, or does your friend not see that as work?
c) tell your friend that if she's that concerned perhaps she could consider changing career and becoming a registered (that's REGISTERED) childminder herself.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack Wed 27-Mar-13 11:38:50

YANBU - she is being ridiculous even asking.

You are in ill health and looking after a baby is the last thing you need, it's hard enough when you are 200% fighting fit!! Plus, with your medical appointments it's hardly practical.

Say no and say it with conviction smile

zukiecat Wed 27-Mar-13 11:40:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

firesidechat Wed 27-Mar-13 11:41:19

I honestly wouldn't bother giving any reasons why you can't/won't do it. The very fact that your friend said "You're not doing anything else, why can't you do it?" is reason enough to say "no, because I don't want to".

Blimey, when was it anyones business but your own how you spend your precious time. I wouldn't do it either and your friend is very rude. It's not even your family!

EostreChaoticResurrEggtion Wed 27-Mar-13 11:44:36

YANBU I advise you to lose the nonfriend too, cheeky using cow.

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