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Disapointed they don't care

(6 Posts)
hairtearing Wed 27-Mar-13 10:39:08

I've had my youngest dc, 5 months old.
there's 2 or 3 of my friends who you know sent me a text of congratualtions, but no visit,no interest in seeing him etc.
I get that not everyone is coochy-coo over babies, but just a bit of interest would have been nice.
I have asked them if they want to pop down, but always have some kind of excuse, I feel so degraded I had to ask in the first place sad. would be nice they came to see the eldest.
Its really getting me down, I feel its like them saying my baby doesn't matter,
I know this is AIBU but I'm feeling quite fragile.
AIBU to be upset about this?

noblegiraffe Wed 27-Mar-13 10:48:11

If you haven't seen them in at least 5 months, are you sure you're still friends? Do they live really far away?

hairtearing Wed 27-Mar-13 10:51:35

They chat to me, talk about nights out etc,
one of them doesn't bother as much and is like that with everyone.

I just feel like an idiot wanna hide in a hole somewhere.

noblegiraffe Wed 27-Mar-13 11:05:48

Chat to you? On the phone?

Do they live far away? Do they have their own kids?

Pigsmummy Wed 27-Mar-13 11:07:59

I think that you have to accept that you are in a different place in your life than they are, just because you have had a baby doesn't mean that they suddenly know how life is for you/can relate to a baby/like babies it is harder to stay in touch with non parent friends unless they are genuinely interested in engaging with you as a family, I keep getting invites to nights out that are just impractical and I know that the invites will dry up. you need to go out and meet other Mums in your area and not dwell on these people not behaving how you would like. Can you get a baby sitter for a night out?

I have friend who is the same, always texting me to ask after baby but hasn't been, actually asked me if "I was driving yet, after the birth" I laughed and said that I was driving the next day, five months ago..... She is so wrapped up in her life that I don't expect to see her tbh, she will be seething when she see's the christening photos online and thinks that she has been left out of the party. I bet I hear from her fairly sharply then!

SooticaTheWitchesCat Wed 27-Mar-13 11:11:35

YANBU to be upset but I think when you have a child and your friends don't (I'm assuming they don't) then sometimes you just seem to move away from those friends. It happened to me too.

What you need to do is go out and try to make some new friends with babies so you have something in common. Go to some mother and baby groups, 1 o'clock clubs or similar. You can still keep in touch with your old friends but it sounds like you have moved on to a new stage in your life and they haven't.

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