To take the total and utter piss?

[eggerlicious]

backstory my dd has been friends with this woman's dd for 7 years. She's ok as is her husband theyare a nice couple and funny although the woman has often come out with random bitchy comments. She;s been off with me since christmas and I've just found out why.....

So, it turns out she thinks I fancy her husband . I'm a healthy 5 11 and like heels and he's five two In fact, if I put my arm around him he would not even get a mouthful of armpit I honestly have no idea how this turn of events came around but she has got the total hump. I've had walk towards then avoid. Walk towards look at then away without saying hello, the total blank and the about turn. Now sadly I find this funny that she honestly thinks I would steal the father of her kids so he can gaze lovingly into my chest. And the more she blanks me the funnier I find it. Made even funnier by the fact that I'm turning down guys ten years younger a foot taller and fitter

So basically, I do feel annoyed that my child's friendship is suffering from her "ishoos" and that she's openly being rude unfairly. Would I be totally and utterly unreasonable to just play it up for laughs?

This is my first post so be gentle

[MaryMotherOfCheeses]

Sounds a bit childish.

I'd just ignore, tbh.

You don't describe how your child's friendship is suffering.

[PacificDogwood]

YABU for posting your first OP in 'AIBU?'

Good luck.

[Catchingmockingbirds]

Laugh about it to yourself but don't bother with any game playing, just ignore it.

[Wewereherefirst]

He's eyelevel with your tits, he has to ogle them which is why your Lo's friends' mum is off.

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

By 'play it up' do you mean flirt with her husband and pretend to fancy him? If so, I would say you would be very unreasonable indeed to do that, because you would be messing around with a family and a marriage. What if she were to see your flirting, and believed that her dh returned your feelings? It could cause very real rows and problems for their marriage - that could cause lasting damage to the family.

[WorraLiberty]

Nah just ignore

If she's that insecure, they might well have problems in their marriage without you adding to them.

[KurriKurri]

How did you find out she thinks you fancy her husband? - did a third party tell you or did she?

I would speak to her, - say you feel something is amiss and you'd like to sort it out.
All this eye avoiding etc is ridiculous, be the adult here even if she is being odd.

I would avoid any hilarity and incredulity based on the fact that her husband is short, presumably she fancies him and is not put of by his lack of height, so she won't buy your stance that fancying someone who is 5'2" is a bizarre concept.

[KurriKurri]

Oh - I've just seen the bit about playing it up for laughs, - do you mean pretend to fancy him? That sounds deranged - and not remotely funny.

[Redbindy]

are you prejudiced again people of short stature? Maybe you conveyed this to the people concerned.

[AKissIsNotAContract]

He might be short with a big cock though.

[cantspel]

So nobody ever fancies anyone shorter than themselves?

[CoolaSchmoola]

This woman clearly finds him attractive, she married him! You may not see it, but it stands to reason that she would believe other women may see him how she does.

Whether or not it's true she's hurting, and rather than ask if you should try to sort it your idea is to fuel the fire, flirt with him and cause her MORE pain, potentially damaging her marriage and their kids.

That's an awful thing to suggest - hurting someone for your own amusement.

What sort of person does that?!

[yaimee]

Perhaps it's more that she's jealous that you're fighting off gorgeous men
She's silly and insecure, just ignore her. Don't play it up though (I might be tempted to tell her I have a massive thing for short men) but I agree with the other, much wiser and less vindictive posters who are right in saying that it could cause real problems for their family.
I hope your dd is ok and her friendship isn't suffering too badly!

[SarahStratton]

She's nuts, where has she got this loon idea from?

[ComposHat]

He might be short with a big cock though

Yes, I know a bloke who used to paint his lower half silver and go to fancy dress parties as a tripod.

[ComposHat]

Say you don't fancy him, you just want to borrow him to start your own Crankies tribute act.

[SarahStratton]

[yaimee]

also, you will need this
You will be getting a flaming for the playing it up comment.
I don't think for a second you actually meant that you are planning to purposefully fuck up their marriage. Sounded to me like a light hearted attempt at humour, born out of frustration.
Aibu is no place for humour, as you can probably tell

[revolvenotevolve]

Hahahah @composhat !!!

[yaimee]

apart from compos

[YouTheCat]

Did you get a text telling you to back off?

[OkayHazel]

He might be short with a big cock though

Shortest guy I was ever with had a whopper! Don't knock it til you've tried it!

[eggerlicious]

Hi and thanks for the answers. Yaimee I would never mess with someone's marriage which is partly why I feel annoyed, that she would think my morals were so loose . I just meant big smiles and over the top friendliness every time I get the blank look.

Compos I'm loving your posts I haven't ever seen someone shorter than me no, it sounds like I'm missing out!

I heard a quite staged comment to someone else, and couldn't beleive my ears which is why I had to post on here....

Anyway nearly school run time

[KurriKurri]

egger - I think I might have been a bit harsh last night - and misunderstood what you were saying slightly. So many apologies - what can I say? , it was late, I was tired I'm a shortarse

Anyway good luck - friendly response to blanking is a good way to go I think - but I wouldn't fret too much, she sounds like very hard work!