I don't know where to start with this one, it's totally out of my remit.
DS1's mate (19,nearly 20) and his fiancé (just 18) have a 4mth baby. Both have dysfunctional backgrounds.
Mates mother chucked him out when he was 17 (new BF, bit of a male struggle in the house, new BF didn't last long, mother has a history of successive BFs), he spent the best part of a month on my sofa with me arguing with SS and the housing office to get him a 'transition flat' with an alleged live in key worker.
Fiance, her mum similar with the successive BFs, plus mum has a dope problem. Fiance now in a 'young mums flat' (forgive me I don't know the proper terms, its in a neighbouring borough and we have no young mum provision here) with an alleged HV on site 24/7 who is never there.
So, tonight, mate comes round (not for the first time), he and fiancé have had another blazing row (I don't know why). Baby has just come out of hospital after a chest infection. Mate has sat in hospital till 4am every night, then gone home to kip, return to hospital, to let fiancé go home about midday to kip (shift work with being by babys side).
As I say, I don't exactly know what the rows are about, DS1 tells me it is her 'insane jealousy', that she want access to his phone - which he freely gives, but as they are both on blackberry and can see each others broadcasts etc and have that stalker location app. She's perpetually accusing him of talking to/looking at/meeting other girls. She phones here if he's nipped out to see if he's really here. But he's with her 24/7 unless he's nipped to the shop, because she doesn't want to go out at all now.
So that's the background without all the he-said-she-said crap.
I've sat him down (again) and said he must take her to the Drs (she is diagnosed with depression) and talk through the fact that she is getting worse and PND must be discussed as a possible option.
She is obsessed that SS (she has SS intervention due to self harming years back plus her mothers current dope situation and younger half siblings) I've told her no one will take her baby away, that the SS will do everything to keep her baby with her/them, and if she wants someone to go with her to any meetings I'll go with her so she doesn't feel rail roaded by any SS suggestions and I can explain them to her.
I actually don't know what to do? She refuses to see the Dr again as she doesn't want increased medication because she isn't 'mad'. You know when you can see something isn't right and no one is doing anything about it? I've told Mate to see his own Dr to discuss his concerns re fiancé.
I really don't know what to do? I don't know her HV, her Dr (or his) I don't know where to direct him further to help her.
They actually make a lovely couple (when on an even keel), he adores her and the baby - but he is so ill equipped to deal with this.
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To ask for your collective sensible brains? (oh its long - bear with me)
7 replies
HollyBerryBush · 26/03/2013 21:30
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