To be annoyed at DP for wanting to spend so much on a pointless purchase?

[Cookethenook]

DP recently won a £200 amazon gift card in a competition. It was GREAT timing as we got a baby monitor (DS 2 due in a few weeks) and DS's birthday present with it. It left us with about £90 left on the gift card. I said that DP should treat himself to a game or something as well with it as we don't really have a lot of spare cash for treats and he was the one that entered the comp.

I was expecting him to get a game or some clothes or something suitably nerdy with it.

He has decided he wants a device that lets him plug our iphones into the car stereo. We already have one that works perfectly fine (feedback if you put the phone too close to the stereo, but really is a minor problem). Apparently this one is better... but it costs nearly £50.

Now, just to put this into perspective. 1- £50 is quite a bit of money for us to spend on anything, let alone a piece of kit (it's basically a few wires). We share all of our finances and while we're not 'poor', but we do have to watch our money and we don't treat ourselves to luxuries very often. 2- DP has one pair of wearable trousers (apart from work trousers). I've been trying to get him to buy another pair of jeans for ages as he just wears them until they fall apart and then doesn't replace them. 3- DP has been talking about getting a new car recently. Him and his dad went out and bought this bloody Golf because they thought it was 'fun' little car... they're both the WORST impulse buyers and we've had so many problems with it (eats through oil and petrol, one of the windows stopped working, one of the back doors didn't open, small cracks on the windscreen which also cause us to go through wiper blades at a rate of knots.... i could go on!). If we did sell the car and get a new one, there is a good chance that we might not even need the device he wants to get.

When he told me what he wanted to get yesterday, i gave my reasons as to why i didn't think it was a sensible purchase. He was really annoyed and said that i'd told him he could buy what he wanted with it, which IS true, but i really thought he'd buy something a bit more useful or fun with it and possibly not spend quite as much.

Now i feel like a total cow, and i can see why he thinks i'm being unreasonable, but i still can't help but feel frustrated that it's basically £50 down the drain. Am i just going to have to let it go?

[kinkyfuckery]

You told him to buy what he wanted. Why not let him?

Have you got everything you need?

[BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack]

I said that DP should treat himself to a game or something as well with it as we don't really have a lot of spare cash for treats and he was the one that entered the comp

There - you said it!! It may be pointless to you but by dictating what he can spend his winnings on you are just being controlling.

Now you have £40 to spend on something which you may like but he may find pointless :)

[PeachActiviaMinge]

YABU I understand why though it does seem a waste of money and a stupid idea that's very infuriating for you but you did say he should buy himself something. Sometimes you just have to let people make their own mistakes and be thankful its not "real" money he's wasting

[Xmasbaby11]

Well, he only spent 1/4 of the prize money and you did get what you need with the rest. I can understand you're annoyed, but YABU.

[Pandemoniaa]

YABU to think you can tell him to buy whatever he likes and then suggest that he can't. It may seem like money down the drain to you and sure, it does sound as if he could buy something more sensible but then he won the gift certificate in the first place so it's not as if he's wasting money from the household budget.

[KittyLilith]

YABU you told him to treat himself and get what he wants not treat himself as long as you approve of the treat.

[OBface]

YABU I would hate for my DH to dictate what I 'treat' myself to. Plus he won it in the first place.

[newgirl]

Def let it go. it's his prize - he's buying something he wants and you'll benefit too.

[bakingaddict]

Let him buy what he likes, it's not for you to decide the usefullness of a purchase from gift money

[PurpleStorm]

YABU to tell him that he can treat himself with the rest of the money, and then complain about what he's chosen.

If you wanted him to buy himself something sensible, you really should have said so at the start.

[Wewereherefirst]

YABU You 'told' him to spend it on what he liked

[Catchingmockingbirds]

Yabu, you told him to get what he wanted with it and this is what he wants. There will be £40 left over he can get another pair of trousers with.

[Cookethenook]

I thought the sensible bit went without saying! I really DO want him to get something that he wants, but i just hoped it might be either less expensive or something that we don't already have.

We really do share every bit of money we get. Birthday money, gift vouchers, money i earn from my evening babysitting job all goes into the household pot. To me, money won in competitions doesn't seem that different.

[BadLad]

If a game counts as sensible then it isn't much of a leap to think that another gadget has been okayed.

[ShatnersBassoon]

I think you've been a bit unfair to expect him to know exactly what you had in mind for his 'treat' without telling him he ought to get a pair of trousers with it.

[Cookethenook]

But a game is less expensive.

[Catchingmockingbirds]

He's already bought two big sensible things with it though, neither were for himself, and will still have £40 left over after his one 'non-sensible but something he really wants' purchase.

[bubblesinthesky]

YABU - You told him to spend it on what he liked so he chose what he liked. He didn't have to share his winnings with you at all and could have bought himself £200 worth of cables. It sounds as if he has been quite reasonable.

Let it go

[Pandemoniaa]

To me, money won in competitions doesn't seem that different.

Yes but this was money you wouldn't otherwise have had and, most importantly you told him he could spend it as if wished. Which he has.

[Ragwort]

Let it go, my DH spends £s on stupid fishing equipment ............ I think its a waste of money but he probably thinks some of the things I spend my money on is a waste of money.

We all have different attitudes to spending, it's not as if you are going without food is it? Presumably if you already have a iphones - you are not exactly on the bread line are you?

And why are you buying a baby monitor, if it is for your second child, didn't you have one already? also think baby monitors are a waste of money.

[Astley]

I can just see DH's face if he won a competition and I 'told' him to could treat himself to so something with some of the money (not to much mind).

He'd tell me to fuck off probably, and I don't think I'd blame him tbh.

[5Foot5]

YABVVU. This is money you wouldn't normally have had so I think your DH has been a bit of a star already to go along with spending most of it on "sensible" things.

BTW you mentioned getting a baby monitor for DS2 due soon. Does that mean you didn't have one at all for DS1 or that you already have one but wanted a new and better one?

[Cookethenook]

DS is 7, we didn't think we could have more so we gave most things away. We live in a 3 story house, so it's def. needed! All of my siblings are having their second or third babies too, so there wasn't one we could borrow.

Ragwort
We bought Iphones about 5 years ago before i had my hours reduced at work and before DP had a job that required the money-pit of a car. We don't upgrade so have very cheap tariffs.

We do buy quite a bit of food and household supplies off amazon actually! It's not like it's a voucher from Game or Topman or something that only he would be interested in spending. You can buy most things on there.

Ok, so you've all put it in perspective for me that it's only a quarter of the money. It was his idea (or it just went without saying) that we'd spend it on the other things- i wasn't telling him or dictating to him that it was what we were spending it on. It's just the way it works in this family, what we earn or get given is for everyone and really it works very well for us.

I've ordered it for him to say sorry- i bet he changes his mind now!

[OBface]

That was nice of you OP! I'm sure he'll be really pleased.

[StuntGirl]

1. It's his money, he can spend it on what he likes.
   
2. New release games are just less than £50 most of the time, so even if he had bought an 'approved' treat he'd have been spending virtually the same.
   
3. IT'S HIS MONEY.
   
   Glad you saw sense.