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To have gone into my room and cried before I killed the aupair

(149 Posts)
Newtothisstuff Sun 24-Mar-13 21:33:31

I've had the worst weekend in a long time !
DD1 has ASD and ADHD she has a strict list of no no's as in what she can and can't eat, the smallest thing on the donts list and she's the devils spawn !!
So I get in from work Friday and I can see just by looking at her she's had something, so I asked the aupair what she's had and "nothing" was the reply, so I asked DD and she said sweets after school !! Arghhh the aupair has been told time and time again about this, there's even a list stuck to the fridge of things to avoid and if we do she's fine.
So we've had the weekend from hell because of this.
I'm still moaning stick with me !
Then DD2 who is 10 months is crying for a drink so I get her sippy cup and go to give it a wash and find MOULD inside it, all in the bottom and all in the lid !! Apparently the aupair didn't realise it was mould !! WTF !! She could have harmed poor DD2 ! I was horrified !
I try not to get cross with the aupair she's 26 so not a kid she just seems to have ZERO common sense ! She's leaving in a few weeks thank goodness but my DH is ok nights, I'm 8 weeks pregnant, work full time and I'm shattered, so I've shut myself in my room for an angry cry.
Feel much better now grin

WorraLiberty Sun 24-Mar-13 21:56:25

Does the aupair work 7 days a week?

If not, why is she the only one responsible for cleaning the cup?

I don't get how no-one else cleaned it on her day off?

OneLieIn Sun 24-Mar-13 21:58:05

How old are your DC's? 10 months and something else I think.

Are you mental having an au pair for kids that age???????

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Sun 24-Mar-13 21:58:33

I sympathise but you have an AUPAIR looking after a child with SN. It is not on. She's not qualified and it's not fair on her or your child.

MintyyAeroEgg Sun 24-Mar-13 21:58:34

Mould in the sippy cup: how can you blame the au pair? Surely you put it through the dishwasher every day?

Sorry you've had a shitey weekend.

Newtothisstuff Sun 24-Mar-13 21:58:45

She gave them to her after school as she picks up her some days !
She only thinks she's being nice, it's just so frustrating for us all, us because we have to deal with Dd and Dd because she can't help the way she's behaving !
I've calmed down now and maybe am a bit harsh ! It's just so annoying having to tell her over and over again
She's been with us since November, you would have thought she would have caught her !
Well I can be thankful her 6 month long holiday is coming to an end soon wink

dearcathyandclare Sun 24-Mar-13 21:59:11

Surely you have more than one sippy cup? One in use, one clean in the cupboard and one missing in action. Seriously though you sound exhausted and better to have a weep and a rant here. I also feel a bit sorry for your au pair as I doubt she was being malicious. Did she witness the consequences of giving your dd sweets?

Lucyellensmum95 Sun 24-Mar-13 21:59:36

So if she is never in complete care of the kids, why didn't the person who was presumably incharge veto the sweets?

I would pay more for proper help, yes. Or alternatively, look after your kids yourself? Just a thought

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie Sun 24-Mar-13 22:00:06

New you've got an Aupair looking after a child of 10 months and one with special needs. Your attitude stinks.

Newtothisstuff Sun 24-Mar-13 22:01:19

She isn't looking after her ! She is just there to help me and DH out.
Like I said a few posts up... She is never left in soul care of them
Well apart from driving DD to school and back some days !!

Eurostar Sun 24-Mar-13 22:02:46

justmyview - worrying that you have never heard of the effect that certain ingredients or E numbers etc can have on some children, ADHD or not, if you are working with children. I have seen exactly as described happen to friends' DC who are sensitive and I thought it was pretty common knowledge.

Meanwhile - OP - honestly, you really should not have kept this person on once they gave sweets for a second time (you say it has been time and time again), it was clear they do not have the right mindset for the job.

I too think, I am sorry to say, that you should not be using an au pair given your family's needs, it is naive at best. Your DH needs to be taking responsibility for hiring better help too, why are you so exhausted that you have let an inappropriate person be looking after your DC? Time to reassess life and priorities? It is mightily unfair on them.

HildaOgden Sun 24-Mar-13 22:03:38

I suggest the next time you employ someone to take care of your kids,you pay the extra and hire someone who is qualified or experienced (preferably both).

Regarding the sippy cup,you are as much to blame as she is (if not more)...why didn't you wash it at all this week,I presume the toddler spent more time in your care than that au-pairs???

wrongsideoftheroad Sun 24-Mar-13 22:03:39

so you work out of the home in the day, dh works nights and the au pair looks after the dc while your dh is around/sleeps. what did dh say/ do about it?

noclue2000 Sun 24-Mar-13 22:05:26

Well if she is not the soul carer why is she the one being blamed?

MsVestibule Sun 24-Mar-13 22:05:27

Lucyellensmum95 I don't think the snarky comment about a woman daring to outsource some of their childcare was really necessary hmm.

Lighthousekeeping Sun 24-Mar-13 22:05:51

You have done well to only have one dippy cup in use! It would take ages for mold to grow.

Newtothisstuff Sun 24-Mar-13 22:06:32

She works about 3 hours a day at most, does the school run once or twice a week, gives DD2 her meals during the week (that ones her choice as she likes doing it) she runs the Hoover around every now and again.
She was just there for an extra helping hand !
I'm not stupid enough to leave an aupair in complete care of my 2 kids all day every day !
She spends the majority of her time out with her aupair friends helping them with their kids..

idshagphilspencer Sun 24-Mar-13 22:07:28

lucyellensmum of course yes your right op should look after her own child
what a stupid comment

fluffyraggies Sun 24-Mar-13 22:07:43

People moaning on MN about their domestic staff always makes me come over a bit hmm i just cant help it.

Why would let this carry on for 6 months anyway? She's either unsuitable or unqualified to do the job. You employed her - stop moaning about your staff and do something about the situation.

MsVestibule Sun 24-Mar-13 22:07:48

New who does actually look after your 10 month old, if you work full time, and your DH is (presumably) sleeping for much of the day?

ApocalypseThen Sun 24-Mar-13 22:08:31

As far as I know, washing up isn't really an au pair's job. You need to get real about what you expect here. If you're prepared to pay three times as much for appropriate care, do it. But don't whinge and blame when hiring someone under qualified and under paid leads to a job inadequately done.

You've no-one to blame but yourself.

AmberLeaf Sun 24-Mar-13 22:10:40

Eating sweets won't make your child Autistic.

Not eating sweets won't make your autistic child not autistic.

Iggly Sun 24-Mar-13 22:11:06

Who looks after the baby then if not the au pair?

Newtothisstuff Sun 24-Mar-13 22:12:28

Omg why didn't I think of that !! Your right I should look after my own kids, ill quit my job tomorrow ! shock

I wish I didn't have to work and could look after my own kids, unfortunately DH and I work to put a roof over our heads and food on our table, we arnt entitled to benefits and dont live near any family. so its the way it has to be.

wrongsideoftheroad Sun 24-Mar-13 22:12:57

amberleaf - the op said that her daughter had adhd as well. i dont know much about it but thought additives can make it worse?

i dont recall the op accused the au pair of making her dd autistic by giving her sweets hmm

cumfy Sun 24-Mar-13 22:13:29

Who is responsible for the mold if she's doing less than 3hrs ?

<thinks hard>

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