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To be upset at a silly comment on fb

(250 Posts)
skyblue11 Sat 23-Mar-13 21:35:49

Cut a long story short DH is in New Zealand for his sisters wedding, it's really hot there, I have SAD, love sunshine and I posted pics on fb for him to see the snow my SIL said ' and today in NZ it will be scorchio' I commented 'thanks I feel so much better now' I just think she's really insensitive. My DH said she's not and if I carry on I'll make him have a shit time.

pigletmania Mon 01-Apr-13 18:52:30

So he would be behaving li a silly little child as you dared go on holiday and enjoy yoursef

Pandemoniaa Mon 01-Apr-13 18:55:12

This is such a sad thread because it could have been do different if the OP's DH had simply taken her and her DD into some sort of consideration from the outset. So go ahead, OP, and book that holiday. Your DH has nothing to be mardy about. After all, he's already had "the holiday of a lifetime" hasn't he?

I would honestly advise you to avoid him on FB altogether at the moment though. There's nothing but added grief for you to see there.

SoftKittyWarmKitty Mon 01-Apr-13 19:07:44

I know it's not about the holiday Piglet, but the OP is being totally disregarded by her DH and his family. It's time she did something to will benefit her - I bet there's not been a lot of doing things for herself in this marriage, I'm guessing. The holiday will be a well-deserved treat for her and her DD, plus it will go some way to showing her DH that she won't be walked over and disrespected any more.

pigletmania Mon 01-Apr-13 19:08:55

Exactly panda you have nothing to feel guilty about he's had a lovely holiday. Whatsrt of a husband goes on a nice holiday without their wife's consideration and Gets the hump when she goes on one!

pigletmania Mon 01-Apr-13 19:10:42

Sorry equality ad all tat op now has a right to go on holiday

bootsycollins Mon 01-Apr-13 19:30:16

Come on sky I'm gonna give you some motivational thoughts of the day

Stand up for yourself get that cruise booked tomorrow and laugh in his face when he dares to sulk, the fact that he's gone on 'honeymoon' with his sister gives you a lifetime of smart arse comebacks for any jibes he can come up with. As for being unhelpful, nothing new there then!. You have to start putting yourself first, if you don't nobody else will and you'll end up really bitter and resentful, it's pointless, stick up for yourself. You should book dh a 6 week spell in a Kibbutz, he could have fun in the sun and it'd be hugely beneficial to his personal development grin

bootsycollins Mon 01-Apr-13 19:32:12

I agree with panda stay off fb, only pissing you off even more. Concentrate on doing nice things for you and dd while he's away

MavisGrind Mon 01-Apr-13 19:40:54

Another one here who remembers your original thread sky. Can I ask how your DD feels about not going on a 'trip of a lifetime'? To me it's as much about excluding her as it is about you.

I would imagine that when my dcs are your daughters age I would love to travel to NZ for an adventure. It just seems very, very selfish of you H and his family.

skyblue11 Mon 01-Apr-13 20:11:06

The thing is....I mentioned to friends today about the minicruise and it seems like I am just doing this to 'get back' at him, that's not the case as you all know it goes deeper than that but to others it seems like tit for tat. I don't want others to perceive me as being petty.

Also as he had 'my blessing' to go he thinks everything is OK and he'll say I should have said no if I had felt that strongly. I didn't want to stop him going but I 'hoped' he wouldn't go but he made that decision.

skyblue11 Mon 01-Apr-13 20:14:15

piglet thanks for making me smile today!

bootsy I will try to stay away from fb and do nice things, thanks to you all for boosting my confidence!

skyblue11 Mon 01-Apr-13 20:17:51

Mavis she is fine about it except she would have adored being a bridesmaid something she has always wanted to do, she has accepted it,is enjoying 'our' time together and looking forward to Amsterdam, besides she has heaps of 6th form work to do.

pigletmania Mon 01-Apr-13 21:19:00

That's ok sky but don't know what I saidsmile. Really he des sound so horrid, it ok for him to go off on holiday and enjoy himself but not op? Then rubs op face in I with his egocentric comments. Nice man! Sky you take charg of your happiness and do what makes you happy be it going on holiday or going on a nice shopping trip to buy yourself some nic things

pigletmania Mon 01-Apr-13 21:19:39

Or even better LTFB grin

bootsycollins Mon 01-Apr-13 21:30:59

Sooo what if people think it's tit for tat? If others perceive you as petty sooo what? I'd rather be perceived as petty than a downtrodden doormat. People can, will and do form their own judgements and perceptions of you, don't get too hung up on that, you need to put you and dd first.

Here's another spin on it, what kind of role model are you being for your dd?. If this was your dd putting herself first before her own dd and dh what advice would you be giving her? I bet you wouldn't be saying "oooooh dd best not rock the boat and book you and dg a holiday, it'll make you look petty"

How would you feel if history repeated itself and dd's marriage had the same dynamics as yours?. You need to make a stand about this, all give and no take is no good.

Here's a mantra for you to chant at dh "there is no I in team"

pigletmania Mon 01-Apr-13 22:14:09

Exactly bootsy, Sod the lot of em, you do what you want

skyblue11 Tue 02-Apr-13 11:46:35

Well.....I've only gone and booked it!

LIZS Tue 02-Apr-13 11:49:03

smile when is he due back ? can you be on a short break somewhere then ?

onedev Tue 02-Apr-13 12:02:37

Fantastic!! Enjoy! grin

BegoniaBampot Tue 02-Apr-13 12:04:58

Oh you rebel you - but well done. Can't bury your heads in the sand now, this is going to make you both have to discuss your feelings - not a bad thing but possibly scary - good luck!

Emilythornesbff Tue 02-Apr-13 12:39:41


<oops! Blown my cover after a week of lurking>

It's not petty to have a holiday with your dd.
You gave him your "blessing" to go away. Now you're going away.
Hurrah! So pleased.

skyblue11 Tue 02-Apr-13 12:42:39

Emily that made me laugh!

I was shaking as I made the booking though....

Euphemia Tue 02-Apr-13 13:10:53

Just read the whole thread and glad to see it getting to a point where you've booked the cruise! Well done. smile

SoftKittyWarmKitty Tue 02-Apr-13 14:11:13

Yay! When do you go? Don't let him talk you into cancelling whatever you do, because I can foresee weeks of moods and sulking from him when he gets home.

pigletmania Tue 02-Apr-13 15:36:11

Well done you niw enjoy planning for it

bootsycollins Tue 02-Apr-13 19:46:01

Hooray! Three cheers for sky!

Ooooh how exciting! A lovely cruise to look forward to smile

Dh is going to get home to a new you! No more complacency, no more being at the bottom of the pile for you my love and if he dares to give you any shit over this then give it to him both barrels.

I'm dead proud! thanks

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